Ashes in the Sky

By the time I stepped outside, the leaves were on fire. The sky was lit up by the beautiful glow of ember flame. My heart stopped a beat and I froze but a second as a cold sweat dripped down my brow and eyes widening to take in the scene before me. 

I was standing in the back of my apartment complex overlooking the yard, it was dusk and the burning fire lit the whole area. The complex playground was just to my right and to my left the gravel path that led aways sloping upwards to the street. On the other side of the burning tree was a fence behind which was an alley and more small apartments.

The centre of my vision was captivated by the burning tree before me though. I could hear the crackling of the flames as they consumed the wet wood slowly and the tips of the coloured leaves fell to the fire’s hungry maw. 

A call to action took me and I looked around for what I might do but saw no options. Other residents were opening their blinds and looking out at the old maple going down in flames, gasping and turning their eyes away. From the apartment doors I could feel the heat resonating out of the tree as its soul was being consumed. Other residents started coming out of the building and I realized I had frozen in the doorway and stepped to the side. I rested back against the bricks and sloped down to the pavement, defeated.

What could I do against this, throw a pebble against the fire to no avail? I heard the distant sound of sirens. Oh how I felt powerless. Looking up at the fire - beautiful in its glory yet terrifying in its destruction - I was overcome by a feeling of helplessness. It just burned, 30 or so yards away from me and I sat there watching it go. I could smell the gasoline, damn vandals.

Why had they done this? Setting the tree alight to what end and purpose? The sirens sounded a bit closer now, wailing away a background to my thoughts. What’s worse, my inability to fight the element that is greater than I. Always it seemed in my life I came across forces of nature I could not against and this was one of those days and moments.

I remember the smell of the burning wood and leaves, the feel of ash in the sky, the sounds of the crackling wood and that cold autumn breeze threatening to carry the fire further than the park. The red lights of the fire truck had arrived though and the boys in suits sprang to action doing what they did best and before long the fire was out.

The firemen had calmed the situation and the small gathering crowd that was outside, they walked around to assess if anyone had been hurt but none had. 

Then why is it I still felt so powerless despite the fact it was all over? What did that fire represent that I could not put out? Why had part of myself been reflected to me when I saw that tree alight? I had such an empty feeling within and very few answers to address the void. As the building super spoke with the firemen and the crowd dispersed I remained sitting against the bricks, drained of the energy I had summoned up. My call to action spiking adrenaline within me, my very core ready to move and all for not, a soul crash as the powerlessness washed upon me.

An empty gasoline canister had been found at the scene, it was arson, someone had set the tree ablaze for their own amusement or sinister reasoning. The chaos was sewn for sick pleasure or vengeance I knew not. It welled a deeper feeling inside where I wanted justice for the tree I had spent many evenings reading against, but what could I do? 

Why did I identify so with this old maple tree and how come it cut so deep that it was now just a burnt husk of its former glory? I wanted some purpose to come from it, wanted some hope to shine through. Maybe it was because I was so alone that the tree felt like kin. No one was waiting for me inside the building I lived in my own bachelor apartment as I had for years.

Government community housing, the poor neighbourhood just getting by. That tree had been a friend of mine, on my daily walks and a view from my window, now just gone.

“These things happen, son.” Came a deep voice and a hand outreached for mine as I looked up from my sitting position. I grasped the gloved arm and was raised to my feet by one of the firemen. He had soot upon his brow and a thick mustache, full gear on, tan brown suit with yellow stripes. I looked up speechless at the man and he smiled, patted me on the back.

“Don’t you fret, fire’s out and come the Spring I’d wager another maple will be growing over this old one. You gonna be alright, boy?” 

“Who… who did this? Why..? Have to stop them, putting out the fire isn’t enough! They’ll do it again!” I was angry and lost and upset. There had to be more to this, there had to be closure.

“Now, son, our job is to put out the fires. We did that here; don’t go worrying about the next one. Whoever did this is troubled in their way and you can be sure they don’t sleep easy at night. There will be another tree, nature has a way of renewing itself. Don’t worry about what hasn’t come to pass, just focus on today. We did good here, now go inside, get your rest and don’t focus on the bad. That tree was old anyways, everything comes to an end.” Such words from a fireman I was not expecting. I was going to reply but saw he was already walking off back to his unit.

That left me there where I had started by the building doors. But now instead of burning leaves and a tree alight it was only darkness and a soot covered stump where the glorious tree once was. The park was blacked a blight, stained from the damage a scar upon it but the others seemed to take it better than I. A cool breeze blew by kissing my cheek and the smell of burned wood reached my nose. It was strange how pleasant the smell was of all things - reminded me of barbeque and outdoor campfires.

What could I do? Swallowing my pride, I turned around and went back inside.