Silent Farmhouse

Note: Minor mentions of harm and death.

The farmhouse stood silent to the outside world, as snow softly fell upon each other, creating a nightly scene that looked to come right out of a storybook. At one time, this home was the most decorated on the street when it came to the holiday season. The large lawn was once filled to the brim with snowman families and twinkling reindeer, and the beige exterior walls were covered with red and green lights and handmade wreaths that just screamed ‘Countryside Christmas’. There was once even a large, blow-up Santa Clause that was strung onto the roof, which neighbors would always get a nice laugh out of. Even though the farmhouse was settled at the end of a short dirt road, the nearby folks of the neighborhood would still make the effort to come by and visit.

But this was the first year it wouldn’t light up, and with Christmas just an hour away, it would not emit its gentle aura. The neighbors didn’t come by this year, and it was then that Janet, the only resident of this old farmhouse, truly realized that this Christmas would be like no other.

Janet had always been a unique sort of person. A wildflower sort of girl, as many would frame her in. Many had thought she’d simply peak in high school, but to the contrary, she was even more beautiful when she graduated college. She had a soft look to her, with an even softer look now. As she was sitting at the windowsill, watching the snowfall, she found herself cuddled up in a light pink sweater, which perfectly matched her short skirt. Even in the darkness of her home, her loose, blonde hair still seemed to shimmer like it did before.

“No one’s really coming around.” She thought to herself, before turning her attention to the living room around her.

Everything was dark, turned off, but it still held its old, rustic charm. Sure, the television was gone, but Janet had never been one to find entertainment in a single thing. She wanted to be a writer. As a child, she was enchanted by fantasy, and when she turned thirteen, she decided that that would be her passion. Her goal. To be a best-selling fantasy writer. She invested much more time in her English classes than anything else, and when she was sixteen, she managed to save up enough babysitting money for her own laptop. She wrote various short stories in her chosen genre, and while most of them still hadn’t gotten published, she was relentless in her passion. 

At this moment, Janet closed her eyes as she remembered back to the day she was accepted into a college with a wonderful writing program. Janet giggled as she remembered how much she was jumping around the kitchen, squealing in delight the morning she read the email. She remembered the wide smile on her mother’s face and the promise her father made to take them out to her favorite restaurant that night. Even her little sister was laughing with the aura of joy in the room. She remembered, though, how her younger brother, Ashton, didn’t show as much enthusiasm as her parents did. Then again, she never saw him show much enthusiasm for much, but despite that, she wanted to believe that the slight shift in his stance was a sign of some sort of appreciation. 

Janet, opening her eyes, stood up and walked through the living room and into the kitchen. She brushed her fingers over the rounded table, tracing over the flowery designs on the cabinets with her olive eyes. She could still smell the early-morning Froot Loops and late-night hamburger pizzas, but right now, she could really go for a Christmas Eve dinner. Roasted potatoes with glazed carrots, freshly baked rolls, and at the center of their little table, a grand pork roast. She remembered how the smell would start early on Christmas Eve morning, and last throughout the entire day, before it would morph into pancakes and hot chocolate by Christmas morning.

“I wish mom taught me how to make pork roast.” Janet thought with a somber smile. “Would’ve been really fun to do. To learn it from the best cook I’ve ever known. How did I let the years go by like that?” 

Suddenly, she saw the gleam of two, bright lights shining through the windows. Her eyes widened, and her form shook. “Car beams?” She wondered, racing to the kitchen window. “Someone’s here!”

There, right in the driveway, was a dark pickup truck. As the lights dimmed and the engine stopped its roar, a figure stepped out and into the snow.

“Ashton!” Janet exclaimed, her smile wide in glee. 

She couldn’t help but to jump up and down, giggling as if she were a little kid again.

It wasn’t long before she was racing towards the front door. As soon as she reached the front door, she could hear the heavy boots crunching upon the un-shoveled walkway outside, growing closer and closer, before coming to a complete stop before the door. Janet could feel her anticipation rising more than it ever had before, so much so she could almost feel a heartbeat, as impossible as it would seem.

She waited for only a few seconds, but to her, it was hours. It was too long.

Then, she heard the jingle of keys, and with the click of the doorknob, the door slowly began to open. She could finally see the shaggy black hair over her brother’s darkened eyes, and the full winter getup he had on. She could tell he was chilly from the cold outside, and though it was out of her power, she felt bad that she couldn’t provide any warmth.

“Ashton! Welcome home!” She exclaimed, taking a step forward, but not quite crossing the threshold. “I’ve been waiting for someone to come over!”

But Ashton remained silent, unable to bring himself to cross through the doorway. He looked forward in her direction, a face frowned and red-nosed. Despite being a foot away from each other, Janet couldn’t reach out.

“Ashton.” She said, her happy expression faltering the longer this tension stretched out. “Come on. Come inside.”

But she still received no response. Deep down, she knew she should have expected it. She knew that what she was hoping for could never come to pass again, no matter how hard she cried and prayed. But it had been months since she’d spoken to anyone, let alone felt the touch of a human hand against her skin, and by God, she was desperate.

“Please.” She muttered, shakily. “Please come inside. It’s lonely.”

Ashton took a few moments before his head tilted down to the ground. He looked as if he were reading the non-existent welcome mat that once lay there. He took his hands from his pockets, twisting his fingers around as he struggled to move; struggled to speak. But soon, he managed to get something out.

“Hey… Janet.”

Janet tried to move a little closer, replying, “Hey, Ashton.”

Ashton stayed quiet for a few more seconds, before continuing, “I miss you. I know it’s unbelievable to hear out of me, but I mean it. I miss you.”

Janet then said, “I miss you too. You, Mom, Dad, Jen–”

“Jennifer’s seven now.” Ashton unknowingly interrupted, looking more into the house. “Maybe you already knew that.”

“I figured,” Janet said.

“It wasn’t all that great though.” Ashton continued, “Mom sometimes calls Jennifer ‘Jan’. She did it during the party. Dad tried to say it was an honest mistake, but Mom left right after. We didn’t see her until the next morning. You know her, Janet. Heh… Mom always tries to act like everything’s fine the next day after some major thing. We both always hated that habit of hers.”

“We did.” Janet shed a small smile, thinking back at the memories. “But we still love her.”

“We still love her, though.”

Ashton looked forward again, his face growing into a deep grief. His body tried to move forward, but the moment he looked towards the staircase, he shuttered. He slid back only by a slight inch before he forced himself to stop again. It wasn’t long before tears began to brim in his eyes, something Janet had never seen from him until now. He always acted so strong, but this seemed to prove her suspicions that her brother had always been softer than he led on.

“Fuck.” Ashton whimpered out, brushing his fingers through his hair. “Why’d this have to happen? Why did you have to die, Janet? You, of all people! You were the one that was supposed to make a name for herself! You were the star child! The local celebrity! Why did it have to be you that was taken from us?!”

Janet felt her own ghostly tears flowing down, her soul aching for her brother. She wished she could take away his pain. She wished she could console him. But alas, she could provide no touch to soothe him and could provide no true word that he could hear.

“I don’t know,” Janet replied, as her brother began to sob. “I don’t know why. Why do people do the things they do, damn it?! I always question it. I always ask, ‘Why was I punished for deciding to stay home?’ and ‘Why did our house have to be so conveniently robbed that exact night?’” 

Janet stumbled back, covering her face with her hands. “Worst of all, I ask why I’m still here. Why can’t I leave this house, or leave this world? Why am I not in… in whatever paradise awaits me on the other side? Is it because I’m selfish to think that I belong in heaven? Was I actually terrible in my life? What did I do wrong?! Why must I suffer here, where I can see and hear everyone, but no one can see or hear me?! Even with you here… I’m still alone. I’m always going to be alone, aren’t I?”

All that could be heard in the world were tears for a little while, though only the living could hear those of the living. As for Janet, her tears would be silent, as it had been since the night she passed. She cried when it happened. She cried when her family found her body. She cried during the funeral and when the family moved out, but no matter how hard she sobbed, and how loud she screamed, no one would ever heed her calls. 

She had her whole life ahead of her, only for it to be stripped away in the most heartbreaking way possible.

“Never even…” Janet soon tried to mutter, shaking. “I didn’t… I never got to…”

“I found it.” 

Janet lifted her head to her brother’s words, her ghostly tears growing silent, but still flowing. Ashton, meanwhile, was wiping the last of the heavy tears from his face, though his eyes remained red. He took a deep breath, before talking, once again, into the seeming nothingness of the house.

“I found your story.” Ashton continued, rubbing his arms. “It took a while to figure out the password to your laptop, but once I got it, it opened right up to your book. I guess by the end, you were doing what you loved.”

Janet couldn’t help but to shed a small smile, glancing down in thought. “I was, wasn’t I?” She mumbled. She knew how much she loved writing, and she still remembered all the love that she felt for her current chapter, right before the terror that followed it.

“I read what you had,” Ashton said, leaning against the doorway. “It… it’s really good. Great, actually. I think you finally made a fantasy nerd out of me. But then I saw that you never got to finish it, and you didn’t leave anything saying how you intended to end it. At least, I couldn’t find anything.”

“You wouldn’t,” Janet muttered, “because I wrote it all down in my journal.”

“I wondered if it was in your journal. But it’s too far gone by now. I only opened it once, before I broke down to how much of your blood stained its pages. I can’t bring myself to try and open it again, so, it’s just collecting dust on my game shelf now.”

Janet sighed. “My story will never–”

“I’m going to finish it.”

If she still had a heart, it would’ve skipped to those words. But Janet’s soul did all the work for her, as it felt as if it were warming up in a hopeful comfort. She placed a hand on her chest, walking closer with her eyes gleaming in a way they hadn’t in a very long time.

“I’ve never been much for it,” Ashton continued, his eyes tearing up again, “but you deserve to have a legacy, Janet. Your book deserves to be published, and I’m going to make it happen. I’m going to find all the writing courses I can find and sign up. I’m going to learn from scratch on how to write. All the things I need to know. All the things that were so natural to you. I know I could never live up to how you did it, but I don’t care. I’ll use what you did write to deduct the ending, and make it one that you’d be proud of!”

Ashton breathed in a shaky breath, his hands still trembling, but it was growing softer now. “Then, I’m going to do whatever it takes to get it published, and I’ll let the world know how talented my sister, Janet Hayes, was during her time on earth. Because I love you, sis. You were my big sister, and I hated the time we spent apart. Let me make it up to you.”

Janet could feel a good tingle in her soul, tears overflowing once more, though now, it was complimenting her wide smile. “I wish we had more time, Ashton.” She said, her hand lingering over her brother’s cheek, even though she could never touch it. “I hated the time we spent apart too. I should’ve been a better sister. To spend time with you, like we did when we were little. But I give you my blessing to finish what I started, even if you can’t hear it. I know you’ll do great.”

As Janet grazed over her brother’s cheek, for a moment, Ashton thought he could feel the familiar warmth of the sister he cared for. But it was only for a moment, but to him, even though he’ll never know who was there that night, it would stay in his heart forever.

With that, Ashton leaned back, looking through the room, before letting out a sigh. “I better get back home,” he said, “No one knows that I was coming here, and I just… maybe next time I’ll make it past the doorway.”

Janet stepped back, wiping away her tears, saying, “It’s okay. I still can’t bring myself to go back up the stairs.”

Ashton grabbed the doorknob, and with one last look, he muttered, “Merry Christmas, Janet,” before closing the door with a soft click. 

It wasn’t long before the truck drove off into the night, the snow still falling as it had been before. But even though Janet was once again alone, something in her soul felt lighter. As she entered her living room again, sitting back down at the windowsill, her mind began to replay the memories of past holidays, and even though she knew she may never have them again, she was no longer sorrowed by that fact. Her brother’s visit, as tearful as it was, was just what she needed. It was the reminder that everything truly was going to be okay. Perhaps not now, or for a while, but she knew one day everything would fit back into the right pieces. 

As the grandfather clock rang midnight, indicating the first Christmas alone, she let herself embrace the loneliness, for the memories became her Christmas movies, and the promise her brother made became the greatest present she could have ever wished for.