Bread

The door unlocked fiercely with a loud click and a louder buzzing overhead. As Mike walked through the door, he was terrified. he had been outside almost every day for the past nineteen years, but this time was different. instead of seeing walls and guards, he saw a large empty horizon and a parking lot with a few cars he assumed were owned by those working.

he stood motionless by the door, not knowing what was coming. His eyes almost hurt from the vast flat fields that surrounded the area.

“there’s a bus stop over at the end of the parking lot; it’ll take you into town.” said the guard who let him out. “Hope we don’t see you again.” He chuckled to himself as he went back in and shut the door.

Mike was overwhelmed. After spending over has his life there, He thought everyday about leaving this place. Now all he wanted was turn around and go back inside.

As he was waiting at the bus stop, his stomach growled. “Where will I get food?” he wondered. “they’ve always just brought food to us. How do I even cook?” he slumped his face in his palms. He could hear the slow screeching of the bus’s brakes as it pulled up and opened the door. He looked up and saw an old man looking back at him with one hand on the wheel, and the other on the door control. Mike rose and started up the steps. As he was looking through his large envelope full of what little belongings he had, he grew more and more frantic to find some spare change.

“This one’s on me” said the bus driver as he gave Mike a sympathetic smile.

“thanks” Mike replied. He was shocked that someone would be willing to help someone out like that. He sat down toward the front. As he heard a cough from one of the other two passengers, he saw the wall he knew so well become smaller and smaller until it was out of sight.

“You staying in town? asked the driver trying to make light conversation.

“I.. I don’t know yet…” Replied Mike.

“You got family anywhere? Somebody to stay with?” the driver asked.

“No.” Mike said. “Nobody.” The driver’s shoulders dipped slightly in empathy.

“Where do you want me to drop you off?” he asked once more, hoping to cheer Mike up. “My route will take you past the hotel, the grocery store, and the main bus station that’ll head out of town.”

“I…” Mike hesitated for a moment. “…I don’t know.” His stomach began rumbling again. “Grocery store… I guess.” He looked down at his hands. A few minutes went by.

“It gets easier you know.” The bus driver said looking at Mike through his mirror.

Mike looked up at him.

“The decisions.” Said the driver. “You get so used to being told when to go to bed, what to eat, where to go, when to shower, how long to be outside, and the whole time you are just trying not to piss off the wrong people, so you don’t talk to anybody. Eventually you forget how to do make up your mind about anything. You also forget people can be friendly out here.” The bus driver paused for a moment and then said “trust me. I know.” Mike gave a smirk and looked back at the ground beneath him.

           When they pulled up to the grocery store, Mike exited the bus and quickly turned around. “thanks” he said to the driver.

“just remember friend” the driver said “it may be overwhelming at first, but I promise it’s better out here than in there.” The door closed, and the bus accelerated away. Mike walked into the grocery store and was even more overwhelmed. The bright fluorescent lights against the colorful signs, advertisements, and products nearly blinded him. The intense sounds of beeping scanner and the carts rattling was almost deafening. He walked over by the carts and remembered them being a lot smaller last time he was in a store. “there’s no way I need that much” he thought. “I don’t even know where to start or what to get.”

A lady passed by leaving the store with a paper sack filled to the brim with the upper half of a baguette sticking out. “can’t go wrong with a sandwich I guess.” He thought “been a while since I made peanut butter and jelly.” As Mike roamed the aisles looking for bread, what was only a few minutes felt like hours to him. he could not help but be overwhelmed. The long aisle-ways seemed like miles, the shelves seemed to stack to the ceiling. His eyes still hurting from the bright colors and unique outfits. When he finally found the bread, it took everything inside him not to fall on his knees. “how the hell am I supposed to choose?” he was screaming to himself in his head. “Brioche? What the hell even is that? Sourdough? Who wants sour bread? Wheat? White? How am I supposed to know?” he rubbed his hand over his face, then reached up and put his hands on his head in order to keep himself from breaking down. “this is just the bread. What if the jelly is just as bad? I can’t even decide on stupid bread; how am I supposed to figure where to go? Where to sleep? Where to work? even how long to shower?” he started pacing back and forth. “maybe I should just throw a banana in my pocket, pretend it’s a gun and rob the place so they will send me back. There is no way I can make it out here.” He starting pacing longer and harder. He looked white bread, then back at the wheat. “no. that’s crazy. this is just bread. I mean normal people do this everyday, all the time. right?” He started to calm down. “Remember what the bus driver told you, it will get easier. Just choose one. It’s just bread.”

He grabbed a package of white bread, and went off to find the peanut butter.