SORRY

Jake and Haley huddled together at the rear of the bus. Neither one of them glanced out the window at the passing sights.

“What are we going to do?” asked Haley tearfully.

“I don't know! I can hardly think now. I never expected this,” sighed Jake.

“What did they say I have again? After a while, my brain just shut down while the doctor was talking. My mind just went blank. I think I was in shock.”

“He said you had COPD, there was a longer name.” Jake pulled a crumpled pamphlet out of his jacket pocket. “Ok, it's Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease.” He flipped through the pages of the pamphlet, not really seeing the words, his mind still reeling with shock. “Look, we are going to get through this. The doctor said there are drugs that are used to treat this condition.”

“Yeah, but he said they are really expensive drugs. Things are so tight financially for us as it is. How can we possibly afford this?”

“It’s ok, I’ll get another job.”

“Jake, you have been working two jobs since I got so sick and had to quit working. You can barely stay awake as it is.”

“ Hey, look, whatever it takes, ok. I’ll do whatever it takes. We're gonna beat this.”

“The doctor said it's a case of managing it.”

“Ok, so we will manage it.”

She started coughing, deep and powerful gut-wrenching sounds that shook her body and wrenched his soul. She slumped in her seat on the bus and closed her eyes when the coughing abated.

Jake rubbed her back gently. “When we get home, you should lie down for a bit and rest.”

“Ok.” She put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. He put his arm around her and held her close as the bus swayed.

Once they arrived at their tiny basement apartment, he tucked her in and headed down the street to the local pharmacy to fill her prescription. It was late, almost closing time for the small town pharmacy. The pharmacy wasn't crowded, seeing that it was so close to closing time. There was no lineup at the sign that read. Prescriptions In. He walked up to the counter and laid the prescriptions down.

“ You made it just in time,” the pharmacist stated. One minute later, and the pharmacy doors would be closed for the night. What have we got here?” he asked. He scanned the small slip of paper and reached behind him, and carefully counted out the number of pills on one of the prescriptions.

He counted them carefully into his small tray and poured them into an amber coloured pill bottle, and set it on the counter. He peered at the next prescriptions and said, “You're in luck, we were running low on these ones, and they just got delivered today.” He unlocked the cabinet behind him and pulled out a giant bottle from the shelf, and started the same process of counting out the month's supply of pills. He added a puffer to the pile on the counter.

Several employees called goodnight to him as they headed out the front door. Suddenly, his cell phone rang and he excused himself to take the call. “Sorry, I have to take this call.” The call was short and ended with the pharmacist saying. “Ok, I’ll be right home.” He turned back to Jake and said, “So sorry about that, I have an emergency at home. Let's ring this up for you.” He placed the giant bottle behind him on the lock-up shelf and half closed the door with the keys still in the lock. He quickly rang up Jake's bill at the cash register, and as Jake exited the store, he saw the lights turning off and the pharmacist locking the front door and rushing around the side of the building. Minutes later, Jake saw him speed out of the parking lot in a white Jaguar.

Jake studied the receipt as he walked slowly towards home. It had taken almost every cent that they had in their bank account to pay for the medication. They had been cutting costs every way they possibly could so they could buy a bike for Jake. Getting from one job to the other without being late was becoming problematic, and bus schedules just weren’t cutting it. It was okay, though, he thought, I can just keep running from one job to another. He had been on the track team in high school, and running was in his blood. He just wished it didn't make him so tired when he got to his second job. It was a physically demanding position, and arriving tired from the long run made him feel depleted. But Haley needed the medication more than he needed a bike. But what would they do next month? There was rent to pay, bills to pay, and groceries to buy. A giant medical bill every month just wasn't in the cards, but it is what it is, he thought. Somehow, he would find a way. He had to.

Haley and Jake had been married for six months; they had barely been able to afford the marriage license, and their wedding reception had been at a picnic table in the local park. It didn't matter that they were dead broke; what mattered was that they were together. They were soul mates; they both knew that. Together till death do us part, thought Jake. No! It wouldn't come to that, it couldn’t, he wouldn't let it. What they at first considered just a winter cold turned into what they thought was pneumonia, and that it would soon run its course. It hadn't though, and then came the chronic cough, the exhaustion. The flare-ups became more frequent, more severe, until just walking to work became a near-impossible feat for Haley. The day Haley had passed out at work was the last day on the job for her.

It was late, after midnight. Haley had picked at her dinner and gone to bed early. Jake had lain beside her, holding her, stroking her hair, and whispering in her ears. Words with no meaning, meant to calm her, they flowed out of him rhythmically, non sensibly.

He lay beside her long after she had fallen asleep. Thinking. Planning. Plotting. The digital clock displayed one o'clock. He rose quietly, dressed in his black hoodie and sweatpants, made a short detour to their old metal shed where they kept things that they seldom used, and left the apartment. Keeping to the darker side of the street, he retraced his steps back to the pharmacy. He pulled on the gardening gloves he had retrieved from the garden shed and tied the hoodie as close as he could in case there were surveillance cameras. He entered by the back door, it was a simple lock, and a well-placed kick provided him with an entry. He listened for a few seconds to hear if there was an alarm, but he heard nothing. Thinking it could be a silent alarm, he moved quickly behind the pharmacy counter, and just as he had expected, the door to the medicine cabinet was still open; the keys in it just as the pharmacist had left them in his haste to rush home.

He quickly grabbed the giant pill container that the pharmacist had used to fill Hailey's prescription, and then a box of inhalers. Then, not wanting to be obvious about his intent, he grabbed some other bottles as well. He loaded them into the messenger bag he wore over his shoulder.

He opened the cash register, it was empty. He was glad it was empty, though; that way, he would not be tempted. He wasn't sure if there was cash in the drawers, if he would have had the decency to leave it there, and resist temptation. But no cash, moral dilemma avoided. He left the drawer open. He was not a thief by nature, but there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to help Haley.

The pharmacist had driven away in a Jaguar. A rich man's car. Jake knew that just because the pharmacist owned a fancy car, it didn’t mean it was ok to steal from him, and that the pharmacist could afford the loss. Not that owning a fancy car in itself justified his actions. It was just the guilt talking. But a man had to do what a man had to do to help his family. Didn't they?

As he turned from the pharmacy medication counter at the rear of the store, and was about to exit, he glanced up and saw a framed picture of the pharmacist with his diploma beside it.

“I’m sorry,” he said heartfully. “I really am. But you see … I love her. I’d die for her.” With that, he exited the store.