The Great Downfall

“Hello? Earth to Eliza!” I look up from my phone and stare blankly at my boyfriend sitting across the table from me. I click the power button on my phone to put it to sleep, set it on my lap so I can feel it buzz, and stare back at him. “What’s up with you? You’ve been staring at that thing all day.”

I shake my head, my half ponytail bobbing as I do so. “Sorry, I’ll put it away. What were you saying?”

He shoves a plate of spaghetti towards me. “It was nothing, just about how I can’t believe we’ve been together for two years now.”

He puts his hand across the table, wanting me to hold it. I do my best to make my hand grip his. I bite the inside of my cheek when he grips my hand back. I feel my phone buzz on my lap and release his hand quickly, but I stop myself before I grab my phone. Instead choosing to stare down at the plate of spaghetti that he had lovingly made while I was off texting someone else.

The guilt starts to make my stomach twist as I think about it. My leg starts to bob up and down. I grab the fork next to my plate with a shaky hand and force myself to take a bite that had a little bit of noodles, sauce, and onions. “What do you think of it?” His voice rings out, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I nod my head as I take another bite. “It’s good,” I force a smile as my phone buzzes again. “It’s really good.” I grab a meatball and stay quiet, wanting him to lead the conversation.

“That’s good.” He falls quiet for a long time. My phone buzzes another two times before he says anything else. “Are you sure you’re okay? You seem a little off.”

I choke down a meatball and start to panic. Thinking about the one texting me right now instead of the one sitting across from me. Thinking about the one I am in love with instead of the one I should be in love with. I shove my thoughts down with my food and try to find my composure. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I pause for a second, thinking about what to say next. “I’m just a little worried about getting enough hours before rent is due. You know?”

He sighs and falls back into the armchair across from me. “You could always move back into the dorm with me. It doesn’t even need to be official. I’ll say I lost my key and you can have mine.”

I hold my hand up and stop him. My phone buzzes again as I answer. “No. You know how much I hate living on campus. It costs so much and there are so many restrictions and requirements and-”

It’s his turn to cut me off this time, not holding a hand up, just talking. “I know, I know, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before.” He pauses and shoves his empty plate away from him. I do the same with my half eaten plate. “How’s that going by the way?”

Panic starts to rise in me. A lump in my throat starts to form. “It’s going well. I just got a bedframe for my mattress, so I’m not sleeping on the floor anymore.”

He nods his head and starts to gather the dishes from the small table. Whenever he turns away I check my phone, smiling as I read the texts from Micheal. 

“Hey! How are you? Have you told Caleb about us yet? I’m assuming not. I’ll see you at home, can’t wait to put the bed together with you, love you.”

I click on the text button and start typing away on the small keyboard. “Just finished dinner, haven’t told him yet, no idea how to bring it up. Should be there soon, gonna try and finish things up here. Putting that bed together is going to be so much fun! Love you too!”

I smile as I put my phone away and start to grab my stuff. “Where are you going? You’ve only been here for like, an hour.”

I bite my lip, trying my best to hide my nervous ticks. “Um, yeah, I’m really sorry.” I walk over to him and place a hand on his shoulder, squeezing as hard as I can. “I got called into work tonight, they’re short on people tonight and I picked up a shift in the app.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek, “I really appreciated the food though, thank you Caleb. See you next weekend?”

He frowns and his shoulders drop, “yeah … see you next weekend.”

---

I walk into my shared apartment and hang my purse on the Command hook to the side of the entrance. “Micheal,” I holler as I venture into the living room, “I’m home!”

“In here,” I smile when I hear his voice come from our bedroom. 

I walk down the hallway and into the open door. My jaw drops when I look at the chaos that he has spread out on the floor. “What have you done?”

He gets up from the floor and gives me a kiss before answering, “I thought I would go ahead and lay out all of the parts. I am excited to have a bed for our mattress.”

He wraps his arms around my waist and I wrap mine around his neck. We sway in place as we talk. “Me too, it’ll feel a lot more like home,” I say with a smile on my face.

“How did things with Caleb? Was he upset?” 

I frown in response to his question.

Our hands fall from each other and he takes a step back. “You didn’t tell him about us, did you?” 

I shake my head.

He brings his hands to his face and sits down on our mattress, “Eliza, I can’t keep sneaking around with you. I want to meet your family and I want you to meet mine. I want to be able to spend weekends with you. I don’t want to keep splitting my time with you.” He pauses for a minute, staring at me, waiting for me to say something, but I just stand quietly, wrapping my arms around myself. He stares into my eyes, my soul. “And I can’t keep lying to Caleb. He doesn’t deserve this.”

I walk over to him and take a seat a few inches away from him. I fight the urge to grab his hand. “I don’t want him to leave my life. He’s such a great friend.”

“I thought you were over him.”

“I am,” I say defensively, “I am over him, romantically at least. I haven’t been intimate with him since before I met you.”

He stays quiet for a long time. He reaches for my hand, I let him grab it. He squeezes, “I’m the one you want to be with?” I nod. “Then either you tell him about us, or I will, or we can stop seeing each other all together.”

“Things can’t be perfect forever, can they?”

He frowns.

“I’ll tell him on Monday at lunch. Okay?”

Micheal leans over and kisses my cheek, “okay.”

I lean back on the mattress and stare up at the ceiling, “is there any way we can turn this around?”

He leans back with me, “we can put that bed frame together.”

I turn to look at him and smile, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Monday… 

“Hey,” I say to Caleb as I sit down across from him at our usual lunch table. “Thanks for having lunch with me today.”

He smiles and reaches for my hand, but I pull it away. He looks away from me and outside at the dark, storm ridden clouds. “Thanks for inviting me. Truly, I appreciate it.”

I smile, “no problem.” A bead of sweat starts to form on the back of my neck. I reach up and wipe it away. “I, uh, I’m sorry about the weekend. I really am.”

“No, I get it, you have rent to pay now, more hours gives you more money.”

“You’re not upset?”

“I mean, I was, but I understand.”

I start to bite my lip. More sweat forms on the back of my neck. I look around and see Micheal sitting a few tables down from where I currently was. I asked him to come because I thought him being here would make this easier. “Listen, I have something I need to tell you.” 

He looks at me with a nervous smile, “do I need to be nervous about it?”

“Um, we’re friends, right?”

He nods, “of course.”

I look out the window and stare at the rain droplets starting to fall from the sky. “Uh,” I glance back at Micheal agains, I try to look everywhere but at Caleb. “For the past six months,” more sweat starts to form on my neck. It starts to weigh me down. As it drips down my back, I sink back with it. “I’ve been seeing someone else.”

A tear falls from my eyes. He stares at me blankly, all life drains from his face. “What,” he asks, barely audible.

Rain starts pouring harder outside as we stare at each other. “I’m so sorry,” I manage to choke out.

“No,” he slams his hands on the table, getting up and storming out.

“Caleb, wait,” I chase him outside, but it’s too late. He’s gone. We’re done.

I feel a hand squeeze my shoulder, I turn around and see Micheal standing behind me. We stand there quietly in the rain, wrapping our arms around each other, not saying a word as I quietly sob.