Blemish

"I can't take the job, I have a really embarrassing tattoo... under my shirt," Connor admitted, sipping his light beer and averting his gaze from the glowing smartphone screen Josef was waving in his face.

"Really? I didnae think ya had any ink. Still, Conna, it's 2020. No one's gonna care if ya got like a skull or a sexy lady on a car hood or ya mama's name-."

"Why do they need a lifeguard anyway? I thought we were all supposed to be staying in, on account of what China did," Connor leaned to the side, following the path of the oscillating fan.

"Maybe somewhere else, hyeah the parks depart need this life guard job filled yesterday cos they're goin' ahead reopenin' the pools Memorial day," Josef moved from the footstool he was sitting on and settled next to Connor on the sofa, which was ancient and sagged so their hips bumped together in the center. Connor brought his beer to his lips and gulped air. "Ah, tha's better," Josef sighed as the fan blew the greasy strands of his almost-white hair away from his face.

"So you want me to contract a Chinese bio-weapon for what, eight dollars an hour?" Connor sulked as Josef basked in the cool. Once the arc passed both of them and was shooting ineptly into the corner of the room, Josef leaned away enough to peevishly slap at Connor's well-defined bicep.

"Ya healthy, ya could catch it 100 times an' it'll only make ya stronger. What's the point in all the exercising' and clean eatin' ya never shut up about if ya hain't gonna take advantage of opportunities uniquely situated ta ya strengths?"

"I stay strong so I'm ready when the system inevitably collapses and-"

Josef buried his face in his hands with an exasperated sigh, but he opened his fingers like a pair of shutters when the breeze aimed at him. Connor's mouth drew shut in a frown, reproached by Josef's reaction. 

"Well ya kin do both, be apocalypse hero an' hold down a lil job. An, an ya h'aint live with no one an' never go out so ya the perfect candidate. Plus, says hyeah they gunna pay fa' the certification." Josef's accent thickened as he grew excited scrolling through the wanted ad on his phone, looking at the promises and the expectations. "Ya'll be able to buy that air conditioner and I won't havvae die everytime I come over here." 

"You could just cut your hair," Connor ran a hand over his own shaven head, only a thin layer of brown fuzz on top.

"And ya could git a job."

"It's not even a real job, its part time."

"Any job is bett'n no job." Josef snapped, yanking the beer out of Connor's fingers and flinging it into the kitchen, where it rattled around the sink. "Ya sleepin' in til noon, ya watching movies all day, ya posting angry stuff online all night. Now that ya brother n' sister moved out they don't need ya around and ya h'aint getting social security for 'em an' ya need another job."

Connor blushed.

"You done?"

Josef melted onto the sofa.

"Ya."

"The tattoo is really embarrassing.and it's on my chest. I can't take the life guard job."

Josef reanimated enough to flash Connor a wolfish smile.

"Embarrassing huh?" He turned so he was facing the other. "Lemme see."

"No," Connor shook his head, covering his chest with one thick arm. Josef's eyes gleamed like sapphires.

"Come on, we've been friends since juvie."

"No," Connor insisted, planting one foot on the floor and pushing away. He was reluctant to flee the sofa entirely, though, as he didn't want to leave the fans radius for the desolate waste of humidity beyond.

Connor was six feet three inches tall and Josef was approximately one and a half feet not that tall. Muscles slid beneath Connor's pale skin like snakes slithering towards prey; Josef's complexion was equally pale but his skin was placid as there were no developed muscles to scurry along his body. The heat was making him loopy, but Josef pawed at Connor playfully. Connor laughed, elbowing him in the chest. Josef dodged under the arm, grabbing the hem of the shirt. Connor stood up taller, until the shirt stretched to its limit. Then, he twisted, throwing one leg over the arm of the sofa. Josef hooked an arm over his shoulder. He was laughing as they wrestled, and even Connor felt a smile hitching onto his lips as he squirmed.

"You h'aint got no secrets ya kin keep from me," Josef declared. He pushed off of the sofa with both feet and rolled over the top of Connor's head, maintaining a death grip on the shirt. The cheap sofa followed gravity and flipped onto its side, spilling both men down onto the filthy carpet, before teetering back down onto its four feet. Half the cotton shirt was bunched in Josef's hands, the other half hung off of Connor in tatters like he was a werewolf who forgot to get naked before the full moon. 

"Oh shoot," Josef laughed, noticing the rags in his hands and blushing. He shook them at Connor, half-smiling. "I'll buy ya a new shirt an' all, sorry." 

The tattoo glowered at Josef from Connor's left pectoralis. It was like a plus sign, if halfway down each line it bent and pointed to the line following it. Or like a stick figure running, if he was cut off at the hips and sewn to another running stickman at his hips.

"Well, there is it," Connor frowned. "Happy?"

"Nah," Josef tossed what remained of the shirt at Connor, who didn't try to catch it. "I was hopin' it'd be a badly drawn chick with big tiddies. Tiddies on ya tiddies." Josef was now the only one smiling.

"It's not. I can't take the lifeguard job." Connor sulked over to his room, opening the door with some effort (the globby paint job made it stick in hot weather), and pulled out another T-shirt from his closet. When Connor turned, he was surprised to find Josef leaning against his doorframe, blocking his exit. They both were sweating; there was no fan in this room.

"I mean, I'm disappointed it's not a naked lady, but I almost always would prefer something have naked ladies, anyway, what you do have isn't all that surprisin'. It's old, right?"

"Yeah," Connor pulled on his new shirt, which immediately stuck to him.

"An' ya don't want it anymore?"

"No."

"Then let's change it into something else," Josef snapped. "Tattoo places do that all the time. My momma always gets her boyfriend's name tattooed and then she's gotta git it changed like a few months later when they split. She's got a whole sleeve of corrections like that, ya seen it."

Connor nodded. The sleeve was hilarious and tragic.

"An yours is so lil," Josef held his fingers-apart like he had an invisible coin. "It wouldn't even cost much."

"Maybe, okay. I don't want it anymore." Connor agreed. 

"I'll pay fer the new tattoo if you put in an app for the life guard job an' a couple other gigs." Josef decided.

"Really? That's nice of you."

"I'm jes' sick of ya mopin' around broke all the time.. I'll look up who does tattoos in town and schedule ya an appointment. Ya think about what else it kin be."

Connor stood in front of the mirror, studying the blemish on his skin.