22 comments

Romance Drama

"It wasn't my fault; she made the move..." I mumbled under my breath, practising my apology. Linda was the love of my life, and Evelyn knew that. I knew that Evelyn used to have a crush on me, but I thought that she would stop pursuing me after I started dating Linda. I was wrong. So wrong. She put her lips against mine and kissed me. And Linda witnessed it. What is wrong with me? I should have pushed her away, I should have. And it's not like I kissed her back. I didn't. But no one would believe that. If I were in a similar situation, I wouldn’t even believe myself.


I tried to console myself with excuses, even though I knew that it was going to take more than that to justify my actions to Linda. I hadn’t pushed her away. That was the bottom line, the only thing that would matter. I had committed a terrible blunder, and I needed to fix it. I looked down at the bouquet of lilies in my hand, hoping that her favourite flowers would calm her down.


The elevator ascended a few more floors as my ears started to feel the drop in the air pressure. "Why the hell does she stay on the twenty-third floor of this building?" I thought to myself, for the millionth time. She could have rented an apartment on the first or second floor, but she was stubborn like that. My Lind was the most headstrong person I knew. She never listened to discouragement from others and always followed her gut. I still remember the day she walked up to me and asked me out while her friends were chuckling in the background. Their shocked faces when I said yes and her wide smile were all I needed to know that I had done the right thing. Our fights were always stupid, and Lind was undefeated in winning them.


My nostalgic smile was immediately wiped off my face, thinking of the fight that was to come. My hands started to feel clammy. I started going over my apology again, trying to calm myself down. I was so distracted that I didn't notice the elevator slow down and completely stop midway between the twentieth and twenty-first floor.


I absentmindedly pressed the 'open doors' button on the elevator. It refused to open. Then the lights went out. I had about the greatest luck out of everyone in the world. I felt around and finally pressed the button I had never thought I would need to press in my life: the emergency button.


Nothing happened.


"Just great. Just freaking great." I swore loudly under my breath.


I paced for a few minutes inside the small space, racking my brain for a way to get out. I had nothing. I knew that power cuts were common in this part of the neighbourhood, but I had never realised the significance of this fact until this very moment.


I sat down, slowing down my breathing. I needed to be calm. If I was going to get out, I needed to use my head. After a lot of thinking, pacing, trying to remove panels from the elevator, turning the flashlight on in my phone and talking to the camera in the elevator, I realised that the only way that I was going to escape was if I just stay put and wait for the power to come back.


I sat there, feeling lonelier than I had ever felt. Regretting the fact that I had not pushed Evelyn away. Thinking of Linda’s face when she saw us. Remembering how much I loved Lind and couldn’t wait to kiss her again. Tears started pricking my eyes.


"Be a man, bro! Grow up a little! You'll be fine," I said to myself, over and over again. I missed Linda at this moment, more than ever.


I sat there for a while, introspecting. I was unfaithful, incapable of expressing my feelings and about the biggest idiot that ever existed. How did Lind even stand me? She was going to leave me, and I couldn’t and wouldn’t do a thing about it or even argue with her, because that was what I deserved.


This was when I lost it and started crying. At that moment, I was an insecure teenager again, constantly ridiculed for being scrawny and unattractive. Then I had met Linda. She was the first person who had accepted me for who I was and had never criticised me for being myself. I had thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I couldn’t blame anyone but myself. And Evelyn, of course.


While I was thinking of how best to tackle that irritating girl, I started to hear the voice. People were shouting and banging on the roof of the elevator.


“Help, I’m in here! Please help me!” I screamed my lungs out and started banging back, ignoring my stinging knuckles.


The lights came back on.


I pressed the button to the twenty-first floor, trying to stop my hands from shaking.


The elevator made the most comforting creak and lifted me a few inches, and the doors slid open.


I was almost knocked over by the force of her hug, and I pressed Linda close to me, smelling the familiar scent of lavender shampoo in her hair.


"I'm sorry Lind, I'm sorry Evelyn kissed me, I'm sorry I'm late, I got stuck on the-mmph!" I was cut off by her lips on mine. She pulled apart, giving me a tender kiss on the forehead. "I knew that you could never do something like that to me on purpose, I forgive you. I was so scared for you when I found out that you were stuck on the elevator. Don't ever do that to me again, you hear me?" I nodded, afraid of crying again. “I won’t, I promise.” She smiled, and that was all I needed to see. I gave her the flowers, and she kissed me for what seemed like an eternity. And I was never going to let her go.


*********************


Now, I officially have a fear of elevators. But I'll be okay. I have Linda to keep me company.

September 06, 2020 15:28

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22 comments

TJ Squared
06:14 Mar 07, 2021

yay! Done! It feels like a great accomplishment to up-vote you nearly 1000 points XD. But I hope that your points are meaningless...bc they kinda are. Again, the leaderboard and point system are really masking the brilliant writers out there, like yourself. I hope someday the world will actually be peaceful and people can once again write for fun instead of for an audience.

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Writer Maniac
06:21 Mar 07, 2021

Thank you so much for everything, I really appreciate it! A bigger accomplishment is pressing the down arrow about 5000 points yesterday 😂

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TJ Squared
17:04 Mar 07, 2021

:)

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Veda Vivek💎
14:33 Apr 22, 2021

For your first story, this is REALLY good! Good job!! 😀👍

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Writer Maniac
15:02 Apr 22, 2021

Aww thanks :)

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Veda Vivek💎
20:41 Mar 30, 2021

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME A...

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Writer Maniac
02:08 Mar 31, 2021

Thank you so much!

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Philip Clayberg
03:11 Nov 16, 2020

I reread your story and yes, it definitely made more sense to me after you explained what hadn't made sense to me during my first reading of it. Thank you for your explanation. They really helped.

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Writer Maniac
03:17 Nov 16, 2020

I'm glad to know that it finally makes sense. This was a fun little interaction, thank you for initiating it :)

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Philip Clayberg
03:23 Nov 16, 2020

It's what happens when you're not familiar with a writer's writing style and story choices. (At least, it's what happens to me.) You have to take the time to get used to how someone writes and what they choose to write about. And usually the investment is worth it. Btw, I wasn't trying to be funny in my previous responses to you. If I was, you would've seen things like (grin) or :) or (sarcasm) or the like sprinkled here and there.

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Writer Maniac
03:25 Nov 16, 2020

I know you weren't, I was just enjoying our conversation

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Philip Clayberg
17:54 Nov 15, 2020

Very good story. Thank you for writing it. It's not easy asking for forgiveness for mistakes made. It's also not easy to forgive those same mistakes. But I did notice what might be a typo: "Why the hell does she stay on the twenty-third floor of this building?" is (much later) followed by: I pressed the button to the twenty-first floor Why would the narrator go to the 21st floor to see Lind, when he has already asked why is she on the 23rd floor?

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Writer Maniac
02:16 Nov 16, 2020

Thank you for reading it! To clear your doubt, it isn't a typo. Linda does live on the 23rd floor of the building. However, when he gets stuck on the elevator, he gets stuck in between the 20th and 21st floor. So the rational thing for him would be to get out on the nearest floor possible i.e. the 21st. Go back and read it again and see if it makes sense. You're welcome to ask me anything else about it if it's confusing. Thank you for asking, it shows you really paid attention and read every line. P.S. I would love to hear your thoug...

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Philip Clayberg
02:36 Nov 16, 2020

You're welcome. Still a little baffled. She meets him at the 21st floor (where he gets out), not at the 23rd floor (where she lives). How did she know he'd be coming out at the 21st floor? Did she look at the lights above the elevator's exterior doors (if there were any showing the floors of the building and which floor - or area between floors - the elevator was at)? I'll reread the story again and see if makes more sense to me now. I know that with only 3000 words (max) to work with, it's sometimes difficult to fit everything in ...

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Writer Maniac
02:46 Nov 16, 2020

So, the reason why Linda meets him on the 21st floor is because she has known this guy for a while now, and she would probably have been expecting him anyway. So when the power completely goes out, and she gets word that someone's stuck in the elevator, she goes to check whether the person is her man or not. That's why she was on the 21st floor when she got out. Your response made sense to me, and I get not reading a story just because it maybe isn't the type of stories you read, everyone has their own preferences and I totally get that. ...

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Philip Clayberg
03:09 Nov 16, 2020

I'm so sorry. I've been trying to find out which story I originally responded to (I couldn't remember its title). I finally went back to the list of current responses and, of course, there was the title I was looking for. Along with another response from you. Ah. That makes a lot more sense. She learns that someone's trapped in the elevator. So, of course, she would take the stairs down to his floor and check to see if he was okay when the power went out or if (worse) he was trapped in the elevator. I'll still reread the story an...

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Writer Maniac
03:16 Nov 16, 2020

I hope it makes sense completely during your last reading :D

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Suhi Rohin
00:56 Sep 26, 2020

Very realistic story. I liked that it took him to be trapped in the dark in the elevator to truly reflect on the consequences of what happened. There was a brief but important character building moment there, and a quite literal aspect of "rising action!" It was a moment of growth in emotional intelligence. I can see the development between this story and "My One" which is awesome. My one critique for this story in particular would have been to work in a little more show than tell, but you kinda already did that! Haha

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Writer Maniac
02:32 Sep 26, 2020

Thank you for your kind words, I really do hope that I actually progress in my writing skills from story to story. The very fact that you're taking the time to read my stories and provide criticism really makes me happy, so thank you!!!

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Keya Jadav
15:08 Jul 28, 2021

That's a really sweet story! I love it! And the last line drew a wide smile on my face. Just wow. Nicee.

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Writer Maniac
15:39 Jul 28, 2021

Thank you!

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