10 comments

Horror Suspense

This story contains themes or mentions of suicide or self harm.

It was autumn and tree leaves popped with brilliant color alongside the winding highway. As many commuters began their evening rush to enjoy fall festivities including the annual Halloween hayride, Violet was less than thrilled. On the eve of the most ghoulish day of the year, she was headed to survey and assess a distressed, ugly structure that use to be a safe, cozy home in Peach Falls Subdivision. The area was once a desirable community for families until a violent tornado destroyed several homes and news of an unexplained, suspicious death of a homeowner tainted the popular neighborhood's reputation. Then a two year pandemic followed and the area never seemed to recover.

As Violet approached a familiar stretch of highway she floored the accelerator and reached for her ringing phone sitting on her truck's dashboard. She answered it quickly. On her phone line was the Vice President of the realty group, her boss Amanda who was project lead for the Peach Falls Redevelopment Team.

"Yes, I am probably about 5 miles away now Amanda. I hit some traffic but will be sure to reach out once I arrive at the property. Right, Yes understood pics will be taken. Ok talk soon." The call ended.

She shook her head while mumbling too.

"Just why this couldn't wait until the weekend is crazy," Violet exclaimed while getting off the freeway at exit 94.

She finally arrived near the subdivision entrance. The damage and horrible condition of the area took Violet's breath away.

She kept the truck running and used the fog lights to illuminate the exterior of the home. The specific one she needed to assess had been the model home but now had an enormous hole in its roof where an oak tree still sat.. The kitchen and other indoor areas were now exposed in plain view outside to anyone who passed by.

"God, this is quite a lovely bit of a mess and disaster," she said as her attention moved to graffiti written on some walls.

She also couldn't help but notice the pungent odor of mildew and dead critters.

It was such an unpleasant scent, Violet walked a couple of feet back to her truck to retrieve a face mask.

"Now that's better" she said to herself.

As promised with her electronic notepad she video chatted briefly with Amanda and began taking photos of most of the home. The steps were now caved in so any upstairs photos wasn't something she could manage, but cleverly made a short video explaining why.

The temperature noticeably began dropping as daylight began to disappear very quickly while Violet worked.

She hadn't worn a jacket but her blue pullover sweater had been an excellent wardrobe choice.

She began to create her final video when a door near the back of the house slammed loudly. "What the hell ,whose there?" she yelled without moving from where she stood. A large grey cat with piercing green eyes suddenly appeared from under a broken table a few inches away from the door and ran towards her.

Violet jumped but quickly realized it was only a stray cat. She kneeled slightly to get a closer look at the animal.

"Oh goodness, where did you come from?"

she asked as if an answer could be discovered. The cat began to purr, but then hissed and tried to scratch Violet before running off into the darkness.

She followed behind it as her idea to take one last candid photo would add a nice touch to finishing up for the evening.

Then a gush of wind without warnimg entered the home, knocked off her glasses and forced the face mask into her nostrils making it difficult to breathe.

It was now even colder in the home and Violet shivered with fear while trying to feel her way to where her glasses fell off.

She also felt someone or something pull her ponytail from behind. The force was undeniable as her head snapped back preventing her from locating her lost glasses. Violet tried desperately to run even without clear vision to the front door, but the unseen entity pushed her

to the floor face down.

As she struggled to move her limbs, a strange paralysis took them over. She simply couldn't move.

Her partially mask covered face was now in direct contact with the old dilapidated floor. Tears began streaming from Violet's eyes as she slowly suffocated.

Complete silence befell the rotten place in Peach Falls. Once again its reputation for despair would reign true.

Violet was reported missing by Amanda, her boyfriend, and her elderly neighbor she made cakes for the very next day.

An officer traveling toward town took a large gulp of coffee while listening to his scanner. The BOLO mentioned Violet.

While checking for vandals or other trespassers during his morning shift, the attentive police officer noticed a running truck in Peach Falls Subdivision. He quickly notified his division of the truck's location, turned the vehicle off, and removed his weapon from its holster.

The curious and brave officer yelled Violet's name while approaching the severely damaged dwelling. He carefully moved around inside but noticed her lying face down on the floor.

As he feverishly attempted to locate a pulse it was no use. The officer recognized Violet as an old classmate and began to weep. He hung his head, wiped away tears, and made a call to the coroner's office.

The news of suspicious circumstances surrounding the death of Violet spread quickly. Every local media outlet and even national ones reported non-stop for weeks. It also attracted ghost hunters, paranormal experts, and conspiracy theory advocates to Peach Falls. The place gained notoriety as one where bad things were bound to happen if you stepped one foot there especially in October.

The memory of Violet and her life contributions helped the community cope with the publicity of being a haunted place. To honor her, a violet colored balloon release is planned every year on the thirtieth day of October.

The Peach Falls Redevelopment project was permanently terminated as other potential areas were selected for housing construction and development.

October 22, 2023 00:22

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

10 comments

Darvico Ulmeli
09:06 Apr 15, 2024

Very catching story. I love everything paranormal and your story hooked me right on. Too bad is not longer. Nicely done.

Reply

Michelle SHAAY
18:51 Apr 15, 2024

Thanks So Much the short video is on YouTube if you're interested in a visual concept 🎬 https://youtu.be/aVmeohKVHkU

Reply

Darvico Ulmeli
20:13 Apr 15, 2024

I watched. Then I reread the story. The music was good. Saw some similarities. With better production, it could be nice. But for short footage, you did ok.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Patricia Casey
12:42 Oct 29, 2023

Hi Michelle, I love this part of your opening sentence, "eaves popped with brilliant color alongside the winding highway." You created a strong contrast between the beautiful beginning and the deadly ending. Suggestions: "The steps were now caved in so any upstairs photos wasn't something she could manage, but cleverly made a short video explaining why." (The caved-in staircase; she couldn't manage - changing phrases from passive-- "were caved in" "photos was/were"--to active.) It would look something like this, which you could reword ...

Reply

Michelle SHAAY
20:00 Oct 29, 2023

Special note too Patricia-feel free to visit https://youtu.be/aVmeohKVHkU?feature=shared It's a visual concept

Reply

Patricia Casey
00:13 Oct 30, 2023

Michelle, You chose the perfect music for your video presentation. I liked your focus on the little details strewn around the yard and your buildup to the choking. Others who watch your video might also enjoy your written story if you post that below the video.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Michelle SHAAY
02:43 Oct 30, 2023

So now I have Clarity and understand your feedback and concern. That certainly clears up everything for me-had no idea I was being blessed by a "Judge" today. It matters where feedback comes from and I needed to feel confident about "why" it was being shared with me. My previous experiences have not always been good ones or shared for my positive, professional growth. Thank you for identifying your role as judge. That fact eases my mind and you're appreciated. It is indeed a gracious responsibility to guide us (aspiring writers) to another ...

Reply

Patricia Casey
11:24 Oct 30, 2023

Your message is beautiful, Michelle. Thank you.

Reply

Michelle SHAAY
18:15 Oct 30, 2023

You're absolutely Welcome! Thank you.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Michelle SHAAY
12:54 Oct 22, 2023

A Short Film based on Lovely Rotten Place is now showing on two audio visual platforms. Youtube on the Michelle SHAAY channel and also ScreenIndie.com is showcasing the short.

Reply

Show 0 replies

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.