Tomorrow's Future

"Mommy, when is daddy coming back?" the little boy asked.

Nolana sighed and said nothing. She had a lot on her mind and washing the dishes didn't help her think at all. Her little boy had been asking for his dad and she was angry at him for bringing him to mind. 

She wiped her brow with her already sweaty elbows and without turning said, "Everest, that's the seventh time you've asked me that question."

"But the game has already started and daddy said we would watch the game together."

Exasperated she turned and said, "Well, people don't always keep their word Everest." 

At the puzzled look on his face, she added quickly, "Go watch it with your sister, mommy's busy."

He didn't move an inch.

"Go, wa... "

"Begy's sleeping."

"Then go watch it alone." She said impatiently.

"Are you angry mommy?"

That boy was too smart for his age. If only they had... She caught her trailing thoughts and said, "Look Every, your daddy is going to come back very soon so go wait for him in the parlor or better yet, go to bed."

With that she turned and continued with the dishes. Risking a quick look at the clock on the left wall, she immediately regretted it. It was 9:45pm and he wasn't home yet and she had been doing the dishes for 20 minutes. 

Mikel came in and made his way to the kitchen hoping to quietly grab a bite to eat. His hopes were dashed as he walked into the very person he'd been trying to avoid. His wife.

Nolana was a fine lady. She was remarkable and interesting. She wasn't a headturner. What she was, was a mind worker. She worked your mind until she was excited enough. She however had a certain mystery about her that just left you wondering. She had very few female friends and though they all seemed very attached to her, it felt as if she would dump them at any moment and move on to better things. She never did anyways. She was a great listener and almost always knew the right thing to say at any point in time. It was one of the reasons why he talked to her about nearly everything. She didn't like him complaining though. One time when he was ranting about the treatment of immigrants at work, she told him to stop whining like a kid and be a man. He was hurt and she knew it but for reasons best known to her, she didn't apologize. She just changed the topic as if they had been discussing what to eat for dinner. She was the strongest woman he'd ever met and sometimes it felt as if she looked down on him because she knew she was the stronger one. Not in brute force or anything like that, she hated fighting. Said it was only fools who fought with their fists. 

Recently however, she had become more withdrawn. She talked to him curtly and wouldn't let herself laugh at a joke. Heck, he couldn't even remember the last time she laughed out loud. She was becoming impatient though she tried to hide it from the kids. Something was eating her up and she wouldn't share. He could guess what it was but he didn't like his guess so he just tried his best to stay out of her way. He had been working night shifts at the factory for a while and recently started working overtime for some extra cash and to come home to his wife sleeping.

"Hey baby, I'm sorry I'm late, you shouldn't have waited up."

"I wasn't waiting for you," she said coldly giving him that look again, "dinner's in the flask." She was saving up for a new microwave but she'd only gotten half the money. He saw her walking away again and in a split second, gave up all his thoughts of avoiding her and said, "What's wrong Nola? Talk to me."

She turned and managing a surprised look said, "Nothing. I just said dinn..."

"I know what you said. Something's been eating you up and you've been acting very strange lately and I don't like it."

"I don't like you coming home this late but you don't hear me complain, do you? I know it's work because you don't smell drunk and you don't look like the type to cheat." She said folding her hands across her chest as if ready for a showdown.

He had guessed that she hadn't been sleeping on some nights when he came to bed late. However since he was avoiding her, he didn't dare check.

"I don't look like the type to cheat," he said mimicking her flawlessly. "Do you think I'd cheat on you?" He asked taken aback.

"Are you cheating on me?" She asked not missing a beat.

"No." He said incredulously, "and why are we talking about who's cheating and who's not?"

"You're the one who wanted to talk."

"No, I'm the one who wants to hear you talk."

"Sorry, I have nothing to say."

"We both know that's a lie. You have words weighing tons in your chest."

"I have nothing to say to you." She spat.

"Great. We're getting somewhere. You do have something to say, not just to me. Tell me, who do you talk to, Aubretia, Sheila?"

"What? Where'd you get that from?" She asked with a confused look on her face. He knew better than to think she'd talk to just anybody about her problems.

"Awesome, you've not been talking to your girlfriends either."

"I've been talking to God."

"Nice, so have I." He said looking a bit smug. He was surprised that she hadn't cut him off yet. Even though he'd gotten nowhere, it was the first time in a while she'd allowed any emotion, even confusion, on her face while talking to him. "Talk to me Nola, I'm your husband."

"What's that to you?"

"What's that to you? Are you for real? It means I'm your life partner. Hear that, partner." He said stressing on the last word, "and I want to know when my partner is dissatisfied with the terms of agreement."

"Who says I'm dissatisfied." 

"Come on Nola, I know you more than you'd like to admit. You've become increasingly quiet and horribly impatient. It's distressing. It'd help if you shouted or something but you just act as if everything's alright and beat yourself up on the inside because you know it's not. You're trying not to blame me and you're even angrier because you know it's not entirely my fault either. What I don't know is the root of all I just said."

If circumstances were different, she would've smiled at his correctness, but she couldn't bring herself to smile. Tears were even farther away and she desperately wanted to cry.

"You're loud. The kids are sle..."

"Don't even pull that card on me now," he said lowering his voice. "Please Nola, you can shout at me but just let it out."

Frankly, he knew she wouldn't shout or even cry. He hadn't seen her cry too many times. It had something to do with the way she was brought up.

Nothing however prepared him for what she said.

"Why did we move?"

Caught off guard, the only word he could muster was, "what?" Of all the probable theories, he did not for the life of himself imagine that moving to America was the problem.

Though a bit sceptical, she was very excited about moving. It was the happiest he'd seen her after their babies came. She spoke of America with reverence and dreamy eyes. It had only been a year and things were not so bad.

"You heard me Mikel."

She wasn't one to repeat herself.

"Didn't you want to move?"

"You brought it up first."

"You agreed second." He said lamely for lack of a better answer.

"Don't joke with me Mikel, just tell me."

"I've told you before. There are better opportunities here for us and for Everest and Begonia. To work, to study, to be part of the change Obama keeps talking about. To be part of the world power, even if just a tiny little part. To give you and them," he said pointing towards the twin's bedroom, "something better than what Trinidad could offer."

"Look around Mikel, our lives back home was better. We don't even have a microwave. I have to stand and scrub the pots for minutes because we can't get pure gas. We live on our paychecks, literally. Our rent expires in the next couple of months and if a miracle doesn't happen before then, we're going to have to move to a worse house in that horrible neighborhood and I don't want my kids growing up there! We had better jobs back home. Heck, I was due for a promotion at work and you were a rising manager at your company. Now you work overtime at some factory that doesn't even give health insurance." She said barely holding herself together.

She had questioned their move a million times in the last few weeks and it made sense, but she was too angry and discontented to see things clearly.

He didn't know what to say, he was still recovering from the shock of her revelation. He almost wished he hadn't probed.

"Do you regret moving?"

"I'm trying not to, Mikel. I'm trying really hard." 

"Things are really not that bad and I did say I was going to get you a microwave."

She knew he was working overtime for that but they also needed a dishwasher, a new school for Every, Christmas was around the corner and who knows what they'd need tomorrow or next year.

"You said that last month "

"And I'm working towards it." He said pleadingly. "I applied for a couple of other jobs that do online interviews, and honestly, I'm a bit overqualified for some of them. Things are going to get better, trust me."

He'd been applying for jobs since they moved. He'd stopped for a while after his supervisor was changed, and the new one stopped him from excusing himself during work hours and cut their lunch breaks short. She wondered how this new batch of applications would be any different. 

"Things don't get better because you say it Mikel."

"What happened to the power of speech my darling." He said with a small smile, aware that the end had come.

Still sceptical, dissatisfied and with a tentative smile, she moved into his waiting arms, and breathing his autumn scent, chose to hope. She thought she was smart, but the things she'd do for the love of Mikel still amazed her.

"Finally," Every said watching his parents hug each other from the slightly opened door. 

"How did you know it was gonna end this way?" Begy asked staring too.

"I talked to Jesus about it." He said simply.

"How did you know exactly what to tell Jesus?"

"From mummy. I always hear mummy walk around the house saying: 'things got to change around here, things got to change around here Lord.' So I told Jesus what mummy was saying."

"So, how did you know it was going to be today?" she asked again still unsatisfied.

"I didn't know Begy, I trusted." He said yawning as he climbed into bed.