To Catch a Dream

“Yea, I think being in a time like that, enjoying the whole moment, it would be perfect, as long as you were there. It would be the best moment of my life to experience that with you.” I sighed over the phone, to a love so far away it seemed impossible that we’d ever see each other. 

“Yea, ditto.” Modues responded. “Maybe it doesn’t have to be too far away, It could happen any time you know. Not just when we’re older.” His voice noticeably quieted by my sigh. 

“Yea, maybe…” I whispered, my mind wandering, to a fantasy of my true love right beside me. We were ready to face the world together in this story I’d conjured, but I knew it would never happen because of just how far we were. 

“You alright Phoebe?” Modues noticed my distant voice, like he always did, I’ve never wanted to worry him a day in my life but I can’t help but speak the truth, “No, not really.” I responded, “I just feel like., well…,” I couldn't find the words and silence wrapped our conversation as he waited for me to finish. I held my breath wondering if I should continue, “What if..we weren’t., you know., meant to be?" I was messing with my hair trying to hide the quiver in my voice. "We live on separate sides of the continent.., and sometimes., I wish so hard for things., but I feel like they will never happen.” 

It felt like Modues was silent for an hour, time dragging like a snail, there seemed to be no response, no sigh of guilt, no..anything. 

I leaned my head against the wall and felt tears start to burn my eyes. I didn’t dare say anything else out loud. I bit my lip, thinking I had just messed up, saying something like that to him. Honestly, I was ready for him to leave, to say something I didn’t want to hear. That we should really just call it all off, say it wasn’t real, there was no way it could be real feelings- is there? 

Instead of hitting me with the punch in the gut I was expecting, he had softened his voice, and slowly, carefully, he said, “What do you mean, ‘what if we weren’t meant to be?’ ..Midnight, I love you. I’m willing to do whatever makes you happy." He paused, I felt the tears grow heavier, and placed a hand on my face to remove them. "-and who cares how far we live apart? Dreams and wishes are meant to be dreamed, they give us hope for the future. Even if we can’t see it, you just have to believe that one day, we will be in it.” 

By the time he had finished speaking I could no longer choke down my emotion, and took a heavy, shaky breath before letting myself cry.

I must’ve scared or worried him because he was very quick to answer, “Oh my god! Are you alright? I’m sorry did I say something wrong?!” 

“No. ….. I'm sorry.” I said in between breaths. “I just., doubt everything so much. ..I.., I know.. I shouldn’t. But I just can't help it sometimes.” 

He sighed, responding, “It’s alright.., Don't be sorry. It happens sometimes..” I could tell he wanted to do more than he could then. I tried my best to calm down, knowing I was worrying him more than I’d ever wanted to. There was such a prominent feeling in my heart, I wanted a hug. I needed someone to be right beside me, not a distance away, but I still wanted and loved the person I had. I’ve dreamt of days where I finally get to see him, how I’d knock him over with a hug, even if he really wasn’t the hug type. I guess I’ve always had high hopes for the future, dreams that were definitely worth keeping, even through doubt.

“I can’t wait until I can see you.” I whispered more to myself than him. He heard it anyway, and responded, “Yea, I can’t either, I never can wait it seems…” His voice trailed off, fading from the mic. 

“I’m sorry if I worried you.” I told him, fidgeting with my blanket, feeling my eyes getting heavy, it was 1 in the morning by now, yet only 11 for him. I looked out my window, the curtain half open with moonlight barely gleaming through, casting deep shadows around my room. I had always loved the night, it was my time, I’ve always felt peace with the moon shining in. Now though, all I felt was distant, even with myself, my emotions were jumbled and I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. 

I snapped out of my daze of thoughts when Modues responded to what I had said, “It’s no problem, you had a moment and that’s alright, everyone has them.” 

“Alright, I guess so.” I said, closing my eyes, sliding into a lying position, “I think it’s time I go-” I was interrupted by a yawn, “-to bed... sorry about that.” 

He chuckled, “You’re tired, I don’t blame you, what time is it, 1 am for you right? You should definitely head to bed now. So don’t feel bad, I understand.” 

“Alright, Goodnight then. I love you, Talk to you tomorrow.” I said.

“Goodnight, I love you too,” He said, before I hung up on the call and set my phone on my nightstand. 

    …

I woke up at 6 that morning, I had school and needed to get ready for the bus so I reluctantly got up and started getting ready. By the time I made it downstairs it was 6:45 and both my parents were standing at the table, surprised I asked, “Dad, why are you still home?” 

He looked at the four of us kids, “Well now that everyone’s downstairs, we have some news to share with everyone.” 

I bit my lip, and also pinched my arm, whenever I hear ‘news’ from my parents it’s not usually good. Calmly, I asked, “What is it?” 

He smiled, “Well, I got a new job, it pays almost five times what I’m working for now.-”

“That’s cool,” I said. 

“-And to be able to work there, we have to move.” He finished. 

My heart skipped a beat, “Where are we moving to!?” I think it came off as an annoyed surprise, but I had a hopeful thought in my head, maybe. Just maybe… I let go of my pinch and crossed my fingers. “Where!?” I asked. Ignoring my siblings annoyed sighs, since we’d been moving from our home town, where all four of us had grown up. 

“New York.” He said. 

My jaw dropped a mile- that was the opposite way I wanted to go! “What?!” I yelled. 

My dad started laughing, “I was joking, we’re moving to Albuquerque, New Mexico. There’s a factory there which I’m going to completely supervise. We’ll leave in a few days, make sure you tell all of your friends at school goodbye.” 

My heart was pounding so hard at that moment. That’s where Modues lives. I held my breath for a second, unsure what I should say, my siblings were freaking out, and I, as calm as possible said, “Wow, that’s pretty far away, it’ll probably be pretty hard to talk to friends here due to time differences won’t it?” 

My dad answered my question, “Yea, it will be, but it’s not impossible, just make sure you’re not keeping them up at night without realizing it.” 

“Alright.” I said. Soon my mom called us outside since the bus was at the corner about to turn onto our road. I got on the bus without a word, my head was spinning. I didn't know what to think of it. There’s so many people in cities, there’s so little of a chance I’d even see him, and yet I still really want to, our times will be the same for once, but we could be living in the same city and still never see each other until we were in our 20’s. 

The few days seemed to pass unbelievably slowly, I said goodbye to my friends, I packed all my stuff up, and tried multiple times to tell Modues about it, but never could for some reason. The only thing I ever managed to tell him was to not try and contact me the day we were moving because I would be traveling. He never asked why, and I never specified. 

      …

When we arrived I looked around the house we had gotten. There were enough rooms for all of us to have our own unlike the old house where I had to share with my sister. I started to unpack slightly, just so I could be somewhat comfortable on the first night, even if I would sleep on the ground since our larger things wouldn’t get there until tomorrow. 

I looked at my phone and saw that Modues had said hello to me, I responded, texting a ‘hello’ back. I was happy that I was closer to him, even if we didn’t see each other for a little longer. 

“How are you this evening Phoebe?” He asked. I took a look at the time, it was only 5pm. Very light outside and definitely not the evening yet. Before I realized it was 7pm at home, he thought I was still at home. 

“Yea… About that.. Can we call?” I texted back. 

“Sure.” He said, and soon enough we were on a call, as I leaned against the wall of my room. “So what is it?” He said aloud. 

I took a deep breath, readying myself to tell him, “We moved, that’s what the traveling’s about from today, and…” I lost the words to say anything the moment I started to say it. 

“Annnnddddd…?” He asked, mimicking how long I held it out. 

I smiled, “We moved to New Mexico, we moved to Albuquerque actually. So, it’s not exactly evening..” 

There was a moment of stunned silence on his end of the phone. “You mean..you’re here? You’re actually here.? No. You’re not, you’re pulling my leg aren’t you?” 

I shook my head, “No, I’m not pulling your leg, I can promise that.” There was more silence. I could tell he couldn’t find the words to speak. 

Finally he responded, “Wow. I can’t believe it. You’re actually.. here.” 

“Yea I can’t believe it either, I haven’t even looked around the city yet, we just got here and I came inside and put all my stuff in my room before I saw your message.” 

“Oh my god. Where are you in the city?” He asked, still audibly stunned. 

“The South West area I believe. Somewhere around Broadway Blvd” I responded.  

“Yes!” Modues yelled. “Yes! Yes!! YES!” 

“I’m guessing that’s where you are as well? This large city, and by fate, we’re in the same area.” I whispered. 

“Yea, is there any chance you could meet me somewhere? it’s not too late.. It’s only 5:15 by now, do you think your parents would let you?” He was talking fast, I couldn't make out much.

Even so, I smiled wider than I thought possible, and responded, “I can ask.” Before telling him I’d be right back, and got up to see if I could. 

My parents were on board and told me to be careful if I did choose to leave. I went back to my phone and told him what they said. Which was welcomed with another “YES!” 

“Where do you want to meet?” I asked him. 

He started laughing and said, “Well, I never thought we’d ever get this far, but would you like to see something cool and pretty?” 

“Sure.” I responded. Before he told me where to meet him. I walked out the door with such a sense of happiness, one I had probably never felt before. 

...

I made it to the destination just fine, parked and stood by a streetlight, looking around for him. All the people in the city made me nervous, I’d never seen so many people in my life by living in rural Ohio. 

“Hello there.” I heard behind me. 

I quickly turned around and saw him standing there, right in front of me, with his arms open, a smile plastered on his face and the kindest eyes I’d ever seen. 

I just about tackled him with a hug, starting to tear up at the sight of him there, something that was only just a dream yesterday. 

“Come on, I want you to see something.” He said, taking my hand and leading me into a nearby building and to the elevator. 

“Where are we going?” I asked slightly puzzled, but trusted him. 

“The roof.” He said. 

“Why the roof?” I asked. 

“You’ll see,” He said as the elevator dinged to let us in. 

It had gotten dark by the time we got there so we couldn’t see much outside. 

"I know living in cities all my life I've never actually seen the stars, and this might not be much better, but-"

The elevator dinged again and he led me out and to one side, and whispered, “Look.” As he held his hand pointing to the shimmering star-like lights of all the buildings below us. 

I lost my breath. It was like I was in space for once, the stars below me instead of above. “Thank you.” I said, hugging him, still watching the horizon. Knowing I was here to stay.