Sorry Is Not Enough

Trigger Warning: Phycological, Verbal, and Physical Abuse

"Are you coming tonight?" the voice whispered. Fear and desperation seeped through the phone. I pictured him, dark hair sweat soaked under a blue baseball cap, stained tan dickies, a washed out orange tee, old Reeboks that were falling apart; gripping the phone white knuckled, crouching low behind the garbage dumpster in the dirty alley.

"Yes I'll be there. Calm down ok. Keep a cool head Maurice everything's going to be fine. "You can trust me," I replied.

I think about what I just told him. Trust such a small word, but, that small word has such an enormous impact. How most of us understand trust is firmly believing the honesty, integrity, or ability of someone or something.

To do that it requires courage and hope in order to let ourselves be vulnerable on purpose and that is hard to do.

If we find it hard to trust it's likely we've had a negative experience that shows us that what's important to us or what we want to share is not safe with someone or something.

"MAURICE! MAURICE!" I hear her yelling his name in the background.

"Oh no, oh no," Maurice groans. "I've been gone to long."

"Tell her you had to take a piss," I say.

"Ok, ok, yeah I can say that," he responds.

"I gotta go. See you later," relief in his voice as he hangs up.

Two years ago I met Maurice on the Southside. I had picked up some overtime at my job. I usually get off work at 4:30 p.m. but that day I clocked out at 11:30 p.m. I was hungry and decided to stop at Luca's for one of their 'red-eye' specials before heading home.

I ordered the corned beef hash, two eggs over easy, and a toasted bagel with cream cheese and grape jelly.

I payed for my food, got my change, and turned to leave. Maurice had been bussing tables that night. He was headed to the kitchen when we collided.

Ruby the night manager shot around the counter profusely apologising.

"Mr. so sorry Mr. We make you another one. So sorry Mr. ok? I give you refund and no pay for this one ok? So sorry ok?"

I grimaced as I wiped ketchup, egg, and grape jelly off my jacket.

"Ok it's cool," I finally answered.

Maurice was scraping up the mess off the floor when Ruby lit into him.

"You dummy. Why you don't watch where you go!? Hurry to clean this big mess you made. I take this from yours paycheck next week. You so stupid to make this mess," she said in her broken English.

Maurice just kept cleaning. Ruby continued her tirade in Italian as she went back behind the counter.

"I'm very sorry sir," Maurice said in a trembly voice.

"Hey man don't worry about it. We're good," I reply.

My order was remade and I headed outside to my car. I saw Maurice coming from the back of the building from a garbage run.

Maurice was what you would call a gentle giant. He stood 6'1, broad shoulders, muscular arms, a little heavy around the waist, but not fat.

I walked over to him and put $25 bucks in his hand.

"In case your manager takes it out of your paycheck next week."

He stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets and looked like he was about to cry.

"My dude it's really ok. We all have off days."

"Yeah thanks man. I really appreciate it."

"Sure no problem. See ya around."

Over the next couple of years I'd see Maurice at Luca's many times. I even saw him around town a few times. At the car wash, the grocery store, in the park playing soccer.

When I saw him he was reserved and quiet. I never saw him with a group of friends just hanging out. He wasn't outgoing and confident. He seemed like a loner; and that he liked being that way.

Ocassionally I'd think about him; about that night at Luca's and wonder what was his story. Where he was from? Who was his family? Why was he a loner?

I was working triage. I'm a nurse at CRMC(Community Regional Medical Center). I had switched shifts with my co-worker because; I needed to be off for an appointment I had the next day. It was a super busy night. I had assessed back to back patients with a variety of ailments and injuries. I was just about to clock out for my lunch break when I heard a commotion in the ER waiting room.

"Oh my god somebody get help!"

"There's blood everywhere!"

"Call a nurse he's seizing!"

I pulled on my gloves as I ran out to the waiting room. There I saw a man on the ground his head and face was covered in blood. His body stiffened and then jerked spasmodically.

I yelled at Brandy to get a stretcher and some help.

I turned the man on his side so that saliva or vomit would leak out of his mouth rather than down his throat. When I got him safely on his side I checked my watch to time how long the seizure would last.

There isn't much you can do to stop a seizure once it starts. Just keep other people out of the way; clear hard or sharp objects away from the person seizing, and don't try to hold them down or stop the movements. Most seizures stop on their own.

Once the seizure stopped. I started assessing the patient. He appeared to have a serious head wound right above his left eye and an abrasion on his cheek.

As I'm checking him over I realize I know this guy. It's Maurice from Luca's.

"Hey buddy can you tell me your name? Can you tell me what happened to you?"

He didn't answer. He was disoriented from the seizure.

"You're ok we're gonna get ya taken care of, cleaned up. Ok? Maurice my name is Dominic. We met a couple of years back at Luca's." I see that he recognizes me. I keep talking to him as we wheel him back inside the E.R.

We worked on Maurice for an hour. His left eyebrow was split open to the bone. He had to have a total of 24 stitches; 10 on the inside and 14 on the outside with 5 butterfly bandages as well. A severe blow to his head caused him to seize. He also suffered a concussion. I gave him something to make him sleep and told him I'd be back soon to check on him.

Brandy reminded me that I missed my lunch break and I should run down to the cafeteria and grab a quick bite. She said she would cover for me. I thanked her and went to the cafeteria. As I sat down to eat; I tried to make sense of what happened to Maurice. Did some guys jump him? I didn't think so. He was such a layed back guy. I couldn't see him having beef with anybody. Whatever happened he was gonna have a hell of a banger and a nice scar.

Later on when I went to check on Maurice; he was sitting up on the bed wincing and tenderly touching the stitches and bandages on his eyebrow.

"Hey Maurice how ya feeling?"

"Not so great." "My head is pounding and I feel real groggy."

"Yeah that's a combination of the whack you got and the pain killer I gave you. You're not gonna feel the best for a few days. You're gonna have to take it easy. No work for the next 3 days."

"Nah man I'll be alright. Can't be out that long. Gotta get back to work like tomorrow," he says while wringing his baseball cap in his hands.

Maurice won't look me in the eye. He keeps his head down while talking to me.

"Tell me what happened."

He doesn't say anything.

"Did someone do this to you? Are you in trouble?"

He starts jiggling his right leg still not saying anything.

"Look I can help you. If you need help. I can help you. You can trust me."

We sit like that for about 7 minutes. I can tell he wants to talk but he just can't find the words. I tell him I'm here; take all the time you need. I'm here.

He is visibly fighting his emotions. He's scared, angry, hurt, but mostly he's tired. I can see that he's tired and he wants help.

He finally looks up at me tears in his eyes.

"I can't take it no more man," he sobs. "I can't." He breaks down completely as I hug him. I tell him I gotcha my man. It's gonna be ok now.

He wets my scrub top up with his tears. Deep wracking sobs that are so sorrowful that many of my co-workers come to check what's going on. I wave them away and give a thumbs up so they know things are ok.

When he's done crying; I get him some water and a warm cloth to wash his face.

"Who did this to you Maurice?"

"Hey man if I tell you; you have to promise to believe me and promise not to laugh."

"Ok; but what happened to you is no laughing matter and I will believe you."

He looks up at the ceiling and presses his lips closed over his teeth.

"Ruby"

He says it so low I don't catch it. I say who??

"Ruby," he says louder.

"Ruby the manager from Luca's?"

He nods

"Whoa....what'd she hit you with?"

"A frying pan."

"Are you freaking serious?" "Why?"

"The ice machine wasn't working right. She told me to check it and see what was the problem. But it was 5 minutes before the end of my shift so I asked her if Roberto couldn't do it since it was almost time for me to go.

She starts going off; telling me that I better do what I was told and stop whining.

I ignored her and started gathering my things to go and clock out.

She became livid but she couldn't do anything because a large group came in off a charter bus."

As I was leaving she said, "I see you later Maurice, believe me, ok."

"I walked out."

"Later that night I fell asleep after building some designs on my domino stand. Ruby came in my room and started hitting me with the frying pan."

"Wait you live with Ruby?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah she's my foster mom."

I hit the table with my hand and say, "Damn!"

"Why didn't you lock your door?"

" It wouldn't do any good. She has a key. She replaced the room door years ago so she could always get in my room."

"How long has she been doing this to you?"

"Ever since I came I there."

"How old are you Maurice?"

"22"

"How old were you when you started living with Ruby?"

"15"

I close my eyes and rub my hand down my face. 7 years of abuse.

"Ok buddy I'm going to get you outta there." "I'll call HPS and report her."

"What about my brother and two sisters?"

"She does this to them too?"

"Yes," he said quietly. "It's why I have to go back."

"She will say sorry and start crying when she sees the bandages and everything; but it isn't real."

"She says she doesn't mean to hurt us. But then turns around and does it again."

"Why haven't you tried to leave or get help?"

"All of us are undocumented here in the U.S.

She threatens us with calling immigration and reporting us if we try to stand up to her."

"The money I make at the restaurant supports my family back home. So I've just been, you know, dealing with it."

Now it was my turn to struggle with my emotions. I had to stay professional; but my blood was boiling. I hated bullies with a passion. I had to help Maurice and his foster siblings.

I could just call HPS and have everyone removed; but then I think what would happen to them once they found out that Maurice and his siblings don't have legal documents.

I had to come up with a way to get safely away from Ruby; plus buy them some time to work out their legal issues.

My brain is on overload looking for a solution. Finally a plan starts to form. I tell Maurice to go back to work tomorrow and act like everything is normal.

Then I tell him to call his siblings and tell them to pack a bag and go to Winston St. Cinema tomorrow; catch a couple of matinee's, eat at the food court, and stay there until he came collect them.

I would take care of everything else. I knew people, who knew people, who knew people. Time to call in a couple of favors.

I told him tomorrow night I would come to Luca's for dinner around 7:30 p.m.

Maurice looked apprehensive but agreed.

The next night I showed up at Luca's at seven-thirty. I was seated and given a menu. I ordered my food and waited. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Maurice bussing nearby tables.

Ruby was helping out in the front of the restaurant; bringing drink orders to tables for the servers.

When my food arrived I called a server over to the table and loudly demanded to see the manager.

A minute or so later Ruby came to my table.

"Ah Mr. How are you?.Is there any problem for you? I hope is no problem for your food."

I told her no there wasn't a problem with my food; but that I had a problem with her.

She looked taken aback. "Why you have problem with me Mr.? What did I did?"

"Let's take a walk outside. Come quietly and I won't make a scene," I said.

"I will no go nowhere with you. Go away from my restaurant," she said indignantly.

I blew and shook my head no.

"You are a wicked person; very wicked. You are a controlling and abusive bully."

"I don't stand here and hear this insults from you." She turned to stalk off.

"How's Giovanni doing these days?" I casually ask.

She stopped in her tracks and turned back to me with a surprised face.

"What whaa whaa what? Why you ask me that?" She stuttered.

"I was just wondering if you had talked to your big brother lately. Let him know what you've been up to lately?"

"Does he know that you've been cooking the books and skimming 10% for yourself? How do you think he'll feel about that?"

She gasped loudly and looked around in fright to see if anyone heard my accusation.

"Look Mr. You can no come here and say that."

"Let's take a walk outside," I repeated.

She followed me outside this time and we sat on a bench in front of the restaurant.

Shortly after we sat down Maurice came outside too.

"As of right now this young man doesn't work for you," I told her.

Maurice took off the apron he was wearing and dropped it on the ground.

"He and his siblings will no longer live with you either."

"What they've had to deal with from you is terrible and inhumane. It's over their abuse stops NOW!"

She dropped her head and started to cry. "I sorry Mr. I so sorry. I don't mean it. I sorry ok. Never I do it again. Sorry Mr."

"Save your fake tears," I told her. "I know you won't because they will not be around for you to hurt them anymore."

"Don't try and contact them either. If anyone of them tells me that you have tried to see them or talk to them; Giovanni will get a phone call."

"And if you think about calling immigration, same thing, Giovanni gets a phone call."

"Do we understand each other," I asked.

She shook her head yes quickly.

"Good. Let's go Maurice."

"Maurice," she sobs his name and grabs his arm. "I sorry ok? I sorry."

Maurice looks at her; takes her hand off his arm and says, "Sorry is not enough".