Dear Mila

Dear Mila,

Remember when we used to talk about our prince charming back when we were kids? I told you my knight-in-shining armor will come towards me riding a giant white horse with a sword hanging on his side, beaming at me with a big smile on his besotted face, ready to rescue me from the dumpster that we grew up in. Well, I was wrong. In reality, he marched up at me angrily, his gun hanging at his side, his scowl showing as his black leather shoes stomped heavily on the concrete floor, shouting at me that if he ever catches me stealing again, he would lock me up in jail forever. I rolled my eyes at him.

Growing up in a sketchy neighborhood like we both did, we learned to pick pockets at the tender age of ten, the same time we learned to avoid the attention of authorities. So, I do not know why I always catch the attention of this certain policeman. I swear I would steal in a town far from his precinct and he would still be the one to arrest me. He would give me this big scary lecture about rotting in jail for the rest of my life but in the end, he would let me go with a gentle reminder to change my life. I would give him my middle finger as a response to his suggestion.

It was always like that. It even felt like this policeman was looking out for me. And to my greatest horror, I found myself… looking back.

An anonymous tip was sent to the police station about a high-profile criminal hiding in a seedy squatter area, just beside our makeshift house—if you could call a strategic arrangement of scrap materials as a ‘house’. It was a trap. I knew because our neighbors were always talking about how this time, they would have the upper hand against the cops. I should be happy and supportive, if the police officers are busy saving their faces after a humiliation that big, they will not have time to bother me in my thieving business. So, I do not know why I found myself in the police station the day before the ‘trap’, standing with my knees wobbly in front of the guy I should be avoiding, warning him about the false information they received.

And the rest is history.

I’m writing to invite you to our wedding this coming first of September. It will be held at Lafayette Plaza Hotel at 1:00pm. Your presence will mean so much to me.

Love,

Alyana.

**

Dear Alyana,

Of course, I will be there! I felt relieved when I got the chance to leave our neighborhood when we were just teenagers. But even though I’m living a comfortable life now, I always worry about you, being left behind in that seedy place. I hope that policeman of yours will give you the life you deserve but have never experienced.

Love,

Mila

P.S Why are we using letters? Just email me or contact me on my phone.

**

Dear Mila,

Nero (that’s the name of my fiancé) brought me to the mall to shop for clothes and shoes. My fingers twitched as I controlled the urge to grab those pretty little things and run as fast as I can before the security guard catches me. Nero noticed it and held my hand; the twitching immediately stopped.

He spent his whole paycheck buying me clothes and shoes. When we were browsing a catalogue for underwear and perfumes, I laughed in nostalgia. I told him the time when we stole that kind of catalogue and we would rub our wrists on the pictures of perfumes. We would feel giddy because our wrists would smell good. Our block smelled of trash, liquor and urine, so a small piece of fragrance to us is a rare luxury. I used to sleep with my nose buried in that catalogue, imagining that I was sleeping in a glamorous hotel that smelled like vanilla and roses.

When I woke up the next morning, Nero filled our bedroom with dozens of roses. He bought something that made our house smell like vanilla. Right there and then, I knew this is the man I will marry.

Love,

Alyana

P.S A week after I and Nero lived together, my former neighbors somehow found out that it was me who betrayed them. They were calling me nonstop, threatening me harm. So, Nero confiscated my cellphone to stop those bastards from bullying me.

**

Dear Alyana,

It’s so good to see you again! The wedding was lovely and so were you. I really loved to catch up with you but your groom was always hovering around you, with his arms locked around your waist. He was even giving me a death glare as if he was jealous that I was talking to you. What a possessive man he is!

And why do you only have a few guests? I thought your groom bought a house in a big and well-guarded subdivision? For sure you have a lot of good and rich neighbors to invite. And could you please have a phone now? If you use a different number, I’m sure your bullies will not be able to bother you.

Love,

Mila

**

Dear Mila,

Yes, I was so lucky to have a possessive man like him. He even told me not to make small talk and eye contact with his fellow policemen when I’m visiting him in the station. He is afraid they will snatch me from him. Isn’t that sweet?

Nero told me not to befriend my neighbors because they are snobs and bad influences so I avoid them even though they are always offering me their baked goods and always inviting me to their pool parties.

As for my phone, I told my husband I want it back and he got angry. He accused me of wanting a phone to communicate with other men online. So, I just kept quiet and dropped the subject.

Love,

Alyana

**

Alyana,

Him being TOO possessive and jealous is not sweet, it’s problematic! He’s keeping you away from potential friendships and support systems with other people and that’s not healthy.

I worry for you,

Mila

**

Mila,

Why are you judging him? Everyone has flaws. He might be jealous, but at least he doesn’t hit me like what your dad did to your mom!

Worry for yourself,

Alyana

**

Alyana,

Noted.

Backing off now,

Mila

**

Dear Mila,

I’m sorry I was insensitive, I did not mean to hurt you, you know that. I'm just protective towards my husband the same way he is protective of me. And I apologize for taking me so long to write. I was waiting for my broken fingers to heal. It happened when I was walking in our subdivision because I got bored being alone in that giant house with no company, just waiting for Nero to finish his shift. A jogger made small talk with me about the weather and continued his run. I waved as he said his goodbye. Suddenly, a strong hand gripped my waving fingers so tight I almost cried. Nero pulled me inside the house while his fist was still clamping my fingers forcefully, his stride fast, and his eyes sending daggers at the retreating back of the runner. But before your imagination runs wild, it's just an accident! He really didn't mean to hurt me. He was so sweet and apologetic and he did all the chores I could not do because of my broken hand. He was always by my side as I recovered, like a loyal servant willing to do his queen's bidding.

At least this is just one time, some husbands abuse their wives everyday.

Don't worry about me,

Alyana

**

Alyana,

Are you avoiding me? Scratch that. It's not even a question. YOU ARE AVOIDING ME. Why the hell did you tell me you were out of town when I offered to visit you only for me to find you walking in the mall? Yeah, I continued my trip even though you refused to see me. And why the hell did you ignore me when I called your name? and WHY THE HELL were you wearing sunglasses and long sleeves? How I wish that is your new fashion style if only I hadn't caught a glimpse of bruises peeking behind those HIDEOUS sleeves. He is beating you up, isn't he? LEAVE HIM. Goodness, I'd rather see you living aggressively in a dangerous dirty neighborhood than to see you scared and cowering with your bruises hidden behind your clothes. And you know how much I hate you to stay in that old squatter area.

Always by your side,

Mila

**

Mila,

So you want me to live in the dumpster again? You want me to sleep with rats and cockroaches, while I got soaked with rain because my father is too busy drinking to fix our make-shift roof? Is that what you want? Then I should be avoiding you instead of my husband.

My husband gave me a beautiful house with a stunning garden and a tall strong gate, protecting me from the outside world. He gives me companionship that I will not have the need to find it from other people, including you. He might be harmful with his fists, but that's just because he's stressed from work. When he's happy and relaxed, he uses the same fist to caress my face lovingly. He loves me and that's what matters. At least, he doesn't cheat on me like what many of his friends do.

I do not need your worry,

Alyana

**

I sighed as I closed the letter from my friend, feeling defeated and helpless. How could a strong feisty woman be reduced to a meek timid lackey when stripped of confidence by a manipulative bastard? The thing about abused wives, is that they do not know they are abused.

"Honey, close that letter now and let's go to bed." Nero whispered in my ear seductively, I chucked. If he touched his wife the way he touched me, I can't blame Alyana for staying.