April 22nd

A drop dripped down the little girl’s cheek. It was cold and sent a jolt to her head, conveying a message for retreat from its foggy trip up from the sky. As it returned to her hull, she was riddled with the question of whether the sudden moisture was due to the rain or the tears that seemed to flow from her low, dark eyes. She wondered if such feelings of sorrow could ever create something beautiful. She’d imagine a flower materializing from the ground as her tears splattered in the dirt. The flower would thank her for her somber secretion and bloom into something quite exquisite. Its petals’ hues would change as the sun reflected off its leaves and it would begin its growth. As she groveled to the ground with her weight on her knees and her face in the dirt, she wept; not from the consequence of despair, but in reaction to the flower’s beauty. The flower seemed to duplicate from her tears and there were now flowers covering everything in sight. The simulacrum evolved and stiffened as they escalated up her legs, the vines growing thicker and thicker, and as they ascended up her frame they collected her tears and flourished in their bound beauty. She was now completely covered in vines, petals, and pollen, but felt such strong feelings of warmth and security, healing her wounds and leaving her with an adrift retention. She inhaled the air; a fabrication by the flowers and as the pollen channeled through her hollows, she was lulled to sleep. The flowers whispered songs of compassion and hopeful slumber in her ears and there was no other way to describe the feeling other than motherly love. 

She looked down at the ground and there were no flowers, just mud. She was relieved a creation was formed from her tears and a smile appeared on her face. She didn’t know much about bugs or animals or any type of creature that may live in the woods, but she hoped they could make a little home in the mud. Some form of safety, a place of security when upon affliction. She couldn’t remember why she was trapped in such a ploy of despair, but she decided not to think too much about it. Her way of life was to simply forget memories. They would echo around her head and in exchange she would press her hands to her ears in an attempt of muffling the thoughts, forcing her mind up to the sky till the sounds transcended out of her orifices. Maybe they didn’t truly disappear but were simply locked somewhere very deep inside of her as she retained an urgent willpower of apprehension. She had been walking along a trail in the woods for quite some time. Skinny, elongated trees would linger in every direction she turned. If she turned her head all the way up she could see the leaves that would envelop the sunlight, causing the path to remain dim. The smell of the dirt would tickle her nose and she approved of her fate of smelling this tingly scent for the rest of her life and nothing else. Her natural odor imitated the trees and dirt and when she would take scattered whiffs of herself, she could see herself as one with the woods, perhaps they’d seep into one another and truly become one. Somewhere deep inside her, similar to some second nature of common sense, she knew she would never leave these woods. Maybe she didn’t want to. 

She seemed to repress memories of herself so much she had forgotten where her life had commenced. She had a limited set of intelligence and it was all of the woods. No memories of anyone or anything else. She wasn’t the type of person to question much, she accepted things as they were and left it as that. Every night she would recline into the dirt laying face down, using her arms as a pillow and the ground below her would heat up. The leaves from the trees above would fall down, creating a thick blanket, and she’d fall soundly asleep as she listened to the howling of the wind, the sound similar to cries. As she reached that unconscious stage of slumber, she’d hear sobs creeping into her realm. She wasn’t sure why the woods would cry so much, but it always felt as if every living being in the woods would cry all night as she’d rest. The wind would whisper subliminal messages of encouragement and love, heating her up even more and fueling her to continue walking along this path. It was unclear why she was pushed so hard to follow this path, but she wouldn’t dare question the woods so she would walk as far as she could every day until she’d fall to a heavy sleep. As she’d stride along, the branches would stretch out to her, gifting berries and nuts and any other snacks they could fetch for her. She never felt lonely in the woods. 

Direct sunlight was unheard of in the woods, and by virtue, her face was pale, almost the color of milk due to this unfortunate neglect. The sun would leave a type of penumbra, but it wasn’t direct enough to be labeled rays of sunshine. The dim lighting was the only thing she was used to, so the lack of luminescence never seemed to depress her. She could sometimes see clouds in the distance of the sky and she would let her mind float up with them, flying in the fogginess of the unknown. Like allies, roaming the stratosphere. Her mind would stay up there in its airborne state as her tiny little legs stretched out one after the other farther into the path for hours and hours. Her back would be held and guided by the strong winds, sending whispers of stimulation encouraging her to prevail. She wasn’t sure why the woods had such an urgent want, or maybe need is the better word, for her to walk down this path, but she would immediately discard the questioning thoughts as soon as they appeared and retreat back up into the fog. 

She woke up one morning with a feeling of unorthodoxy stuffing all her senses. She was unsure if she could stick this label with the entire day, but something seemed quite odd. Visibly, nothing was unusual or contrasting, and the woods had still cried the entire night before. Due to this gap in cognizance, she forced her mind back up with the clouds. She admired the clouds and its behavior of neglect for thoughts. As her tiny little legs threaded along the path every creature in the woods came out to visit her, which she couldn’t help but note was fairly peculiar. Bunnies and deer, and bears, and even bugs and all beings of the sort came out to greet her, aligning themselves with the trees as if they were waving her off in some ceremony with her as the main subject. This didn’t bother her, and as a matter of fact, she was quite fond of the creatures that lived in the woods. They awoke some type of nostalgia in her and she couldn’t help the feelings of adoration and happiness that would rise. She couldn’t deny the soft spot she had for fuzzy animals and that desire for embrace she had towards them, which she’d make an effort to push deep down. She also had a type of admiration for bugs and their habits and mannerisms. She wondered what it would be like if she could ever walk around in their minds one day. As she passed by these creatures, she waved them off and carried on her path with a slight smirk that had escaped her lips. 

For some reason, today it was harder to float up into the sky. This worried her, but she still continued her long strides. It seemed lighter than usual and the lengthy trees appeared far more scattered. An hour had now gone by and she approached a light. She wondered if this meant the path was beginning its end and made a willful attempt in stopping these thoughts. She was drawn to this light, and when finally reached, it felt almost as if all the breath in her body had made its escape. As the light dulled down and her eyes finally adjusted she was converted into a frozen state. Maybe not of awe or shock, but something fairly similar. Like an inability to wrap her head around a concept. There were no trees anymore and as she looked behind herself in panic they had vanished. There was a crystal lake in front of her with pale and soft sand leading to its entrance. The water had a light hue of blue that seemed to mirror the clouds and sky. She could see the reflection of the clouds and was drawn into the water. The water was freezing, but she didn’t let this sensation stop her. As her body completely emerged; every thought, memory, and emotion raced to her head. She understood now. She knew her past, her future, and her present. Her mind surpassed the woods and she dove into the memories of herself on another plane. She felt such strong and raw emotions of merriment, despair, pleasure, exhilaration, and much more which exceeded words as she dove farther and farther into the water. She was now crying and her tears merged with the water as she began further exploration. She wasn’t swimming into the water anymore, she was now swimming into light and had reached a tunnel which contained the pure source of the illumination. She let her tears flow further to the stream and dug her way into the portal of light. She smiled and cried and thanked the woods as she became one with the earth for this second. 

Goodbye, she mouthed, and thank you.

The light glowed and channeled through her skin and she was now a part of the woods, the trees, the clouds, the lake, and the light… forever and always.