De-Isolation

TW: Mentions of physical abuse, mental health

“Well, well, well, look who’s back. How was your little vacation?”

“You are a horrible person, Wyn.”

“Wow, so much hostility, Jaylen. What did I ever do to you?”

“Don’t play that game with me. Do you have any idea how dark the basement is? Your stupid dad locked me in there for five hours.”

“Hey, do not call my father stupid. Do you want me to get him again? Or should I just show your mother the photos I took?”

“I knew it was you. I knew it. How did you even get those?”

“I just followed the smell of witchcraft and it led me to you and your little coven.”

“I was with my friends! My friends, Wyn! A concept you obviously can’t grasp considering you don’t fucking have any.”

“That language is very unbefitting for a young lady. Besides, anyone the devil child spends time with can’t be very good friends.”

“You sound just like them! Oh just wait for school tomorrow. Just wait.”

“I’ll tell my father you’re threatening me. You thought the basement was dark? Get used to it, because that’s the only place where you belong.”

“I hate you!”

“That’s all you know how to do. Hate, hate, hate, because you can’t feel anything else.”

“Do you ever think about anyone who isn’t you? Seriously, I don’t think you know how to feel for anyone. Do you have any, like, sympathy for anybody?”

“Empathy, sweetheart, the word is empathy.”

“Oh my God, what are we doing?”

“Well you were just leaving so that I could get some rest! We have school tomorrow, surely you’d learn how to respect anyone else who wasn’t nocturnal.”

“No, Wyndell, I mean what have we been doing?”

“What are you talking about now?”

“Okay, let’s think about this for two seconds; we keep trying to make each other’s life hell. We keep fighting, we keep blowing up, and we stay pissed, but who are we actually mad at?” 

“I don’t know what you’re implying.”

“Yeah? Well I do. How long has it been since you relaxed Wyn? And I’m being for real, when was the last time you sat down and felt any kinda peace?”

“Listen, just because I have responsibility, doesn’t mean–”

“‘Responsibility’? Your dad kicks your ass every time you step outta line! If that's the responsibility, then I don’t want it.”

“That only happened when we were little; when I hung out with you.”

“Now I know I’m right because you’re a liar. I saw him.”

“When? When have you seen anything? What did you see? You better not tell anyone.”

“Jesus Wyndell, let go of me!”

“If you think your life right now is bad, you haven’t seen anything yet! My father will–”

“Get off of me!”

“You– You slapped me.”

“You grabbed me.”

“I don’t have time for this right now.”

“Yes you do, you just don’t wanna have this conversation, but guess what? I do. And lemme tell you something, Wyn: I’m so tired. Fighting you all the time is so exhausting! I use up so much energy fighting you that I don’t have enough for anything else.”

“You think I like battling all the time? No! Of course not! But you leave me no choice!”

“Listen to yourself! Who’s actually talking here: you, or your dad?”

“He has nothing to do with this.”

“Oh he has everything to do with this. And my mom. And everyone else who ever hurt us.”

“You don’t know anything about me. People are going to depend on me one day, I’m gonna run the church, not you, so don’t ever act like you know how I’m feeling.”

“You know what? You’re right. I don’t know anything about you. In fact, I miss you. I miss you every single day. I miss the Wyn that introduced me to his pet dragon that only he could see. I miss the Wyn that told me about all the nerdy crap his friends taught him about at school, even though I didn’t get it. I miss the Wyn that laughed so loud at the stupidest jokes and didn’t care who heard. I miss you so much.”

“I– I honestly forgot about that.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Um… Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

“Why did you set me up that day? Why did you have to make me look like the bad guy?”

“I kind of don’t want to tell you.”

“Please, Wyn. You say that I don’t know you. I want to know you so bad. Tell me how we got here.”

“It’s because I was scared of going to hell.”

“What started that? Because if I remember correctly, you’re the one who told me that they had no idea what they were talking about, and that I wasn’t evil, so what changed?”

“Fine! Fine! I’ll tell you. My dad pulled me into his room one night. He told me it was time to talk. I honestly thought he was going to hurt me or something, but he just sat me down on his bed.”

“The fact that your first thought was violence is so telling. I hope you know that.” 

“He said that I was old enough now, that he’d given this talk to all my older siblings at my age."

"That's pretty consistent if he told them all at nine."

"Then he told me all these stories about suffering and punishment and sadness and told me that it was a place called ‘hell’. Then he–"

"Do you hear yourself right now? He was trying to get into your head."

"He told me that I was going there. That he only hit me to get the evil out of me, but that by being friendly with you and following your lead, I couldn’t be saved.”

“He actually tried to isolate us. That's messed up."

“I asked him how to get out of it. So I gave up all my toys and my journals and my magic books, but he said that it wasn’t enough. There was one more thing I could think of.”

“And that was to set me up.”

“If you think it was easy for me, if you think I’m a monster, that’s fine. But after that, he actually started to hang out with me. He started to notice me and show me real love! He treated me like my brothers, and that felt good! After so much trying, I finally have his respect.”

“You wanted someone to love you.”

“Isn’t that what every kid wants?”

“Yeah. It is.”

“You know, your mother loves you. That’s why she’s with my father. They only do what they do because they love you.”

“They don’t though. That’s what you don’t understand. Because I tried, too. I really, honestly tried, but nothing was ever gonna be enough for them because they already made up their minds. At some point you just stand back and start to live for yourself.”

“How do I even do that? I’m better off keeping my love right here than going out and looking for it in other places. I mean, look at those gangsters you used to hang out with.”

“First of all, ‘gangster’ is an overstatement; they were just assholes."

"I'm pretty sure tagging alleys and spitting gum out onto the sidewalk qualifies as gangster behavior." 

"But yeah. They showed me love, but it wasn’t right. The people I chill with now are more like my family than anyone else. Love isn’t violent or hurtful, it’s compassionate and gentle and unconditional."

"Don't start preaching to me."

"You can’t tell me that your God would want this."

"I also don't think he would've been very keen on you just leaving me behind the minute things got hard for you, but look at where we are."

"And I’m sorry for that. I’m so sorry. I didn’t have to be such a bitch, and I should’ve been there when you needed me, but I was just such an angry kid. I didn’t see anything outside of that, I guess. But there’s still time for both of us to figure it out.”

“What will you have me do then? Step out of line all the time? Become a rebel? All for my dad to sock me every day?”

“No. I’m just saying that all of this begging and pleasing isn’t worth it. Would you rather be alone? We’ve been alone for years, and we live together! As much as you’ve hurt me, I still feel so bad for you. Aren’t you tired of living in fear?”

“Honestly? Yeah. I am. I’m really, really tired. But I don’t know if I can figure that out now.”

“If not now, then when? With that being said, hey, I’m Jaylen. It’s nice to meet you.”

“We’re really doing this.”

“How else?”

“Jeez. Hi, my name is Wyndell.”

“Can I call you Wyn?”

“No, it’s just– Actually. Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Really though, Jaylen, I’ve kinda poured out my heart. Tell me something I missed along the way. It’s only fair.”

“Woah, look at you go! You grew some balls!”

“Don’t start with that.”

“Fine. Something you missed: I quit vaping.”

“You did not.”

“I'm officially six months clean. Castle helped with that.”

“That kid's an angel. Unlike you. You suck.”

“You sure got a lot to say. Tell me something about you now. Like a fun fact though, nothing heavy or anything.”

“Alright. But you have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone, especially our parents.”

“When do I tell them anything?”

“Fair point. I started making comics about dragons again.”

“Oh thank God. Maybe your nerdiness will humble you.”

“You’re not funny.”

“Not trying to be! You're the one interpreting it that way.”

“Okay, okay. Hey, you wanna have a sleepover in my room? Like we used to?”

“Y’know what? I’d like that. Lemme just go change because these clothes feel gross right now.”

“Okay, go for it. Hey, Jaylen?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for everything. Thank you for… whatever this was.”

“Thank you too. I guess.”

“Maybe we can figure out how to forgive each other someday.”

“Yeah, yeah, enough of this sappy talk. I’m gonna change and raid the fridge.”

“No, you get changed. I can get snacks.”

“What if they catch you?”

“Then I’ll run like hell.”