Choices

Choices

Mary walked out of the house looking for her next fix. She had gotten caught up in chasing drugs. Her favorite fix was oxycodone. She liked the sense of euphoria it gave her. Her story was like everyone else’s. She’d had surgery on her back and they had prescribed Percocet for the pain. She took it as prescribed in the beginning, but the more they gave her, the more she liked it. She had become a slave to her addiction and she hated it. She had lied to so many people she’d lost track of what she’d said to who. It was quite exhausting.

    She stood 5’9’ and weighed 159 lbs. She had shoulder length red hair and was a very beautiful woman. She had a great husband and kids and her life was nearly perfect. Her husband worked hard for the family and the kind of salary he made, the family shouldn’t be struggling. It made Mary sad when she thought about what she had done to her family. Right at the moment though, Mary’s only thought was chasing her next high.

    She had found a reputable drug dealer that she trusted. Some of the crap on the street was laced with Fentanyl and it scared her to death. She also refused to do heroin, because that stuff was no good. Twenty years ago, you could doctor shop and get what you needed, but not in today’s world. She shook her head and focused on her mission.

    Her first stop was the ATM to get a cash advance on one of her credit cards. She then proceeded down the streets of Dallas. The tall buildings reached the sky and gave it a nice skyline. The temperature was horrendous as she walked down the street on her mission. The high today was supposed to be 100 plus degrees and at the moment it was close. The sweat dripped down her forehead and she swiped it away with her hand. It was annoying, like a fly, but she didn’t care as she had one mission in mind as she walked.

   She turned down a narrow ally. It was littered with trash and used hypodermic needles. It was quite disgusting. It just reminded her how far she had fallen from grace. The smell of the trash was overwhelming and Mary gagged. God, she had to get her life together soon. She had become a shell of herself. Seeing her source for her next high she gave him the money and he gave her the goods. She had brought a bottle of water, so she could take five to get her sense of euphoria. “Oh, how she liked that feeling.”

Walking back down the streets she let her mind wander to the thought of how much she had spent on drugs in the last six months. She had spent over a $100,000 chasing her high. She managed to put on a good show, because even her husband had no idea of what was going on. He didn’t know what bills they had and if he knew he’d have a serious meltdown. She always told him that the credit cards were maxed, because of the cost of groceries. “If he only knew.”

Mary walked back into the house as her husband got home from work. He wondered why dinner wasn’t ready and Mary lied about having to run an errand for one of the kids. She got dinner started and served it to the family. She was a picky eater and most of the time she didn’t eat dinner. That was a norm for her, even before chasing her high. She cleaned up dinner and went to the bathroom to take five more Percocet to keep her high going. She sat down in the living room and picked up a book.

Her husband was pacing around as usual and as he did he picked up the mail and saw that they had a new credit card. He asked Mary why she kept getting new credit cards all the time and she told him, “They needed them to continue eating,” he seemed to accept that for now. He had been asking more questions lately. He wanted to know where all the money was going and as usual she’d come up with another lie. She had lied to him so many times and she felt bad about it. The lies were to the point she had forgotten which one’s she’d told him. That was a scary thought. He was asking more questions and Mary didn’t like it.

She had lost a great job that she really loved, because she had called in too much due to   withdrawals. She had told her husband she had quit, because she had a mental meltdown on a customer. The truth of the matter was she was fired. That was okay and she didn’t really mind staying home. It gave her more time to scheme on how to get more money. It was starting to run dry and she knew the withdrawals were coming. She had money for one more fix and then she would be done. It was a sad thing for her, but she knew it was for the best.

Her husband came home early from work and she wondered why. He seemed to be extremely agitated and she thought it was because of his job. Little did Mary know at that moment, but her husband had been doing some snooping when she wasn’t around and had found out where all the money had been going for the last six months. He just stood there and stewed and she could see he was trying to keep his cool. It was just a matter of time , before he blew his cork. Mary got up and walked over and tried to give him a hug. When she tried, he pushed her away and told her, “that she disgusted him.” Mary felt sick to her stomach. She knew he had found out about her deceit the last six months.

Her husband was kind man and had always taken care of the family and she knew by the look in his eyes that the life she knew was about to be over. He looked at her and finally let if fly. He told her, “She was a disgusting junkie and he wanted nothing to do with her.” He said, “she had 48 hours to get her stuff and get out.” Mary started to feel the tears in her eyes. She knew her marriage was over and there was nothing she could do about it. No talking to try and explain the situation would be good enough. Her husband had told her he had found out about all the lies and deceit she had been spewing the last six months. He told her, “he was filing for divorce and was going to get full custody of the kids.” He said, “she was and unfit mother and a low life junkie that he didn’t want around his kids.” He also told her, “the sooner you get out of my life the happier he would be.” He then turned around and walked out the door.

Mary sat on the floor and started to cry. She knew that this would happen one day and now here it was. She had no idea where she would go. She had alienated all of her friends and know her husband. What had she been thinking when she made the choice to chase drugs instead of seeking out professional help. The point was now moot.

She learned a valuable lesson that day. The choices she made were not good ones and she knew one day it would all blow up in her face and now here she was. Life had been unraveling for the last three months and she knew her husband had become suspicious. She thought it was her imagination, but it wasn’t. The lesson she took away that day, was deceit would always lose in the end and now she had to pay the consequences of her choices. Mary got up and grabbed her bottle of Percocet and downed some more.

Tomorrow was another day, but today she would find that euphoria and deal with her situation tomorrow.