Who Did It

I am a mother of six, and I know they did it. I know all of my my children, did all of the things I said they did. I am pointing a blame finger, yes I am. They are monsters, and I love them, but, they are going to put me in a mental institution, if they don't start taking responsibility for the things that they do.

The plant pots. The plant pots are full of vitamins. I refuse to pay five dollars more for "Flintstone" vitamins. They do taste good, or better than the generic ones, you can't chew them. The expensive ones, you can chew. Darn it! Okay! I'll pay extra. Why am I giving my plants a nutrient boost everyday. If I find one "Flintstone" vitamin next week I will throttle them. The children will not tell me that they didn't put their suppliment in the plant, if they taste better.

The dryer " who dun it"? My dryer is broken down. Now, how does a brand new extra large dryer burn out? How, you say? I'll tell you how. By giving six year olds a ride in them, that's how. No one gets allowance, for the next year. I am not using my laundry appliances,for exibition rides, for my kids. They won't admit they broke it, but, once again I am pointing the finger at my children. Round and round, he went screaming, the whole time, I was coming up the walk way. I couldn't figure out, what the yelling was about, until I went to use my dryer. No more round and round, for the clothing. I will point my finger at them, and they will not use my facilities, for fair rides anymore.

The lawn burned to a crisp, in the back. Oh, my goodness, just fourty feet from our home, a serious fire has occurred. Who light the dry grass, in the back on fire,? No one! Okay...but the matches were in my oldest ones room. Would he admit it? No way, not a major offense like that one. So now all matches are to be put in the kitchen bowl, and never used by children again. If they would have admitted it, they would have been able to go outside their bedrooms, for the rest of the summer. Secretly, my brother and I did the same thing when we were young. I didn't divulge that information. It's not information I will have for my offspring, until they become older.

The universal built in vacuum cleaner. It's never been used, since they decided that socks were part of the doors dust. I had to buy a small one and explain that the socks, in the bedroom floor, do not belong in the hose of the vacuum cleaner anymore. The built in universal vacuum, never to suck up another speck of dust. I was a finger pointer, for that one too. I couldn't figure out which one did it and they all said " no we didn't". So I had to let it go.

My make-up, it's an economical brand. It has to be. It's shared with a four year old, a six year old and a fifteen year old. Only the fifteen year old is allowed to use it. The younger ones charcoal eyes, giving them away everytime. The ruby red lipstick. All a perfect giveaway, of their cosmetology experience.

The roof top full of shingles, except for one shingle. Meticulously crafted and pulled off of the large rooftop. We live in a two level split. The roof is not for sitting on, I explained. After the five hundred dollar roofer, came over to fix the shingle,that someone pulled off , my ten year old decided to ask me what shingles were for anyways. I told him that the constant stream of water in our family room was right underneath the shingle that he pulled off. He understands how they work. Do you think he will tell me that he pulled that part of our house apart? I don't either!

My expensive perfume. It was poured out and turned to water. I had a little girls bedroom that smelled like hundred dollar perfume, but she had no idea where it went. I started to think to myself, am I that bad that they won't admit anything? Then I looked around at their bike riding, their video games, the skating lessons ect. ect. They had alot to lose, that's why. Could I blame them? Yes, I could. They will be liars, I though to myself. Maybe not their just protecting their entertainment. No problems, that occurred with me would be sorted out anytime soon, if their funtime was compromised.

My clothing! What do they do with my clothing? The make-up and the clothing ensemble. That it. The nylons that have huge runs in them, those are the days toys, while I am earning a living. They have to be. Because rarely will I have a new pair without holes in them. I was pretty sure I was the only one that needed them. My ballerina told me otherwise. She explained that, her dance class had a need, for practicing putting on my nylons at home. Hers weed thick ones she had yd me and that my thin pantyhose were slot different than hers. I guess I will buy a number of practise hosery for her in the future. My fifteen year old and I, laughed for months at her little sister's, practise nylons. Her leotards just didn't have the same give, much sturdier than the panty hose. She needed to have them ruined, in order to feel that she was a grown up wearer of the items.

I have learned to leave the bathrooms dirty, until one of them decide that they need an extra few dollars, and will volunteer to clean it. I have learned that if they want to eat off of plates, that they have to do the dishes. If they want clean clothes, use the washer and dryer for clothing anytime. If they want by-laws to not give us a fine, they must mow the lawn and shovel the snow in the winter. If they want to eat, they will write down the groceries on the list. If I want peace and quiet I will go elsewhere, as I chose to have these little darlings.