The Tale of Three Brothers

He came around nine o'clock that evening. It was very crowded and we did not immediately pay attention to him, which was odd, considering he was rather huge. He took up three chairs, you see. The first one to notice him was Zoro, our waiter. We gave him that nickname because he had a moustache and thick black eyebrows which, when one looked at him from distance, almost formed a mask. Anyway, he was the first one to gaze upon him. He came back with an order and, eyes wide open in disbelief, whispered that we have a whale in our midst. At first, we didn’t know what he was talking about.

‘There’, he said.

Following the path his hand fashioned we watched and felt our mouths slowly open and eyes widen with each passing inch of space between us. He was huge. Really big. Enormous. He wasn’t just fat. He was… glorious. I tell you, he sat on three chairs. Zoro went back to serve him. Carefully, so he couldn’t see us spy, we looked at Zoro as he approached him. He came back quick, smiling.

‘He asked for water. Just water for now’, said Zoro.

We could not believe it. Just. Water.

‘Did he ask for a menu’, wondered Mimi.

‘Nope, just water’, said Zoro smiling.

‘Take it to him’, said Mimi viciously.

Zoro took a glass of water and a menu and disappeared trough sea of chairs and tables. He came back fast and said that the fat one ordered a salad.

‘Impossible’, said Tomo. He was our bartender.

‘Which salad’, asked Mimi anxiously as if the answer to that question contained the meaning of life itself.

'Greek', simply said Zoro. Mimi was disappointed, I reckon.

'What's with all the commotion', asked the Almighty emerging from the kitchen, looking at us gathered around the bar.

The Almighty was one of the managers. His real name was Dave. And Dave had a solution for everything. Not just for the things regarding managing a restaurant. I mean for everything. Any of us had any problem at all, he's the one to go to. He knew people, you know… Hence the nickname, right?

'We're watching the fat one. He ordered just a salad for now', said Mimi.

'Take the salad, and take some fries with it.', said the Almighty smirking at him.

Zoro went on and came back rapidly.

'The fat one is ecstatic', said Zoro. 'I would've never guessed someone could be so happy to see fried potato', he said laughing.

'He's gonna eat it all', said Mimi awestruck.

'Go and see if he needs more water', sad the Almighty. 'Then see if he ate everything already', he added viciously.

Zoro went on and came back within fifteen seconds.

'Pour the water', he said to Tomo. 'He ate it all. He's a beast. Pour, pour... faster. C'mon.'

'Has he asked for anything else', wanted the Almighty to know.

'Nope, just water', said Zoro.

'Take it to him, then come back here. Chief, give me mashed potatoes and seven meatballs', said the Almighty.

Zoro marched along to the fat one carrying water. He came back as fast as his feet would allow it.

'He asked for a check', he said.

'No check, it's all on the house. Take this to him', said the Almighty passing mashed potatoes and meatballs to Zoro. 'Take some cheese and bread as well. Let's see how hungry the fat one really is. Let's see how much he can eat', he said malevolently as Zoro disappeared with the order through the tables.

We all watched longingly, gathered around the bar. Nothing else mattered anymore. No other customer was as important as he was. Just the fat one. From the moment Zoro laid his eyes on him, he was the only one we cared for. Zoro came back, thrilled, and noted that the fat one already ate everything. We couldn't believe it. Mimi said to the Chief to cut up three slices of cherry pie. She then took them to him. No check, everything on the house. We all wanted to see just how much can the fat one really eat. She came back, equally thrilled as Zoro, saying he devoured the pie in seconds.

'He even licked his finger', she said laughing.

All of that took about an hour of our lives. It was as if we were submerged in some sort of magical bubble, nothing mattered anymore, as I said. We were enchanted by the powers of the fat one. It was as if we couldn't move anywhere else, but to only bring the food to him. He ate so much... He ate everything we had on the menu. And then we just started to invent the meals. It was magical. He just ate everything we brought, as we gazed upon him mesmerized in silence.

It was at that moment when I took him a piece of kiwi pie. That was the first time I went to him. He was even bigger up-close. I could not avert my eyes from him. He could not be comprehended whole in one look, no sir. His head kind of merged with the rest of his body. There was no neck. There was no any hint whatsoever as to where one body part begins and another ends. It was all one big gelatinous mass. Horror. Horror...

'You are aware that he is dead, miss.'

'Yes. Yes, of course, I’m sorry. I really am sorry, I didn't mean it.'

'Go on.'

'Well, as I said, I took him the pie. I was enchanted with his greatness. He mumbled something, but I just shook my head. Simply, I couldn’t speak. My lips were sealed. I don’t know what he said, I couldn't hear anything. It was ringing in my ears. I felt hot, but cold sweat broke my shirt. I just watched as those fat, greasy fingers took the piece of pie and brought it up the hole in the enormous surface of the skin. It disappeared in a blink of an eye. It was then... that is when... there he died. He overate.'

'No. He did not overeat, miss. He died due to allergic reaction to peanuts. Did you know he was allergic?'

'No. I did not know.'

'Well, he was. An eyewitness claims the fat... mister Morg asked you, just as he was about to eat the pie, if it has any peanuts in it. And you just shook your head.'

'No, he did not ask. I'm sure he didn't. He died of enormous quantity of food he showed down his throat. He overate.'

'No, miss. You just said you didn't hear anything he said. You just shook your head. You killed the fat... mister Morg.'

'Me... I... didn't... I’m sorry.'

'You can say that to his sons. They're waiting in the hall. After that we will take you in...'

'Take me in?'

'Yes, take you in. You are under arrest. For the murder of the fat... mister Morg.'

'But... I did not know… we were all…'

'Irrelevant. He is dead because of you. It was you who took the pie to him.'

Epilogue:

She walked from the small room with pale green walls and strolled down the hall. At the end of it, three enormous figures awaited. His sons. She did not know what to say to them. She just stood there, waiting. Then, they spoke. The one from the left spoke first, somewhat unsure of his own thoughts, stuttering. The one in the middle spoke second, silently with hint of jealousy in his voice. The last one to speak was the right one. He slithered like a snake, hissing wind trough the air, almost without a sound, yet every word burst across the hall like a whip. He had a slight grin on his face, detected only by his brothers.

'We loved our father... a lot.... He... he loved us... too'

'Either way, he still died doing what he loved the most. Overeating'

'How much was the pie? We'll pay'