Defunct Relics

In a old Canadian attic, a forgotten Royal typewriter and an original Nintendo reminisced about their glory days.

“Remember Christmas 1985! When they unwrapped us?

“Unforgettable! They were so excited they nearly broke us getting us out of our boxes! There was wrapping paper everywhere, and Back to the Future was playing on the TV, ” said Nintendo.

“We were superstars; I was the most popular typewriter that year.”

“And I was the most advanced entertainment system ever made, state-of-the-art! Shoppers would fist fight over me, I was mandatory under ever tree!”

“Have some humility Nintendo,” laughed Royal. “I’ll admit you were highly addictive, Chris played games until his thumbs were callused,”

“And Kristen must have written 1000 stories on you," said Nintendo. “We had many great years with them, didn’t we?”

“Ten wonderful years Nintendo, I thought it would never end, until we were knocked off our pedestal by Super Nintendo and the PC, who would have seen that coming?”

“I suppose we’re lucky, we weren’t thrown away,” said Nintendo, “How long has it been?”

“Thirty-five years Nintendo. At least Chris still plays with you occasionally, Kristen hasn’t written a story on me in decades. We would write the most epic tales together, one of her stories was published in The New Yorker.”

Nintendo sensed a vibration. “It’s coming.”

Royal and Nintendo watched from the window as the dump truck pulled up, a man stepped off the back and threw the garbage in, a discarded vacuum cleaner pleaded for it's life, but it was futile the vacuum was tossed in with the rest.”

“Poor vacuum,” said Nintendo. 

“That’s our fate Nintendo, one day that truck will take us to the landfill, and we will never return.”

***

One Sunday afternoon the attic hatch opened. Royal and Nintendo watched in anticipation to see who was coming up. The ladder extended down and Kristen climbed up, followed by her daughter Gina.

“You can have this space for your writing,” said Kristen, "nice and private."

Gina took in the room, “it smells like old books up here, I love it!”

Royal focused on Kristen, longing for her attention.

We’ll put things in three piles, garbage, Salvation Army, and keepers,” said Kristen.

“Garbage!” Exclaimed Royal.

“The Salvation Army? Royal what is that?”

“We’ll be drafted into some sort of war Nintendo!”

Kristen picked up Royal and blew the dust off, “My old typewriter, I really should donate it.” 

Gina could see the look of nostalgia on her mother’s face, “Does it still work?” 

“I think so, I’d have to buy ink for it, not even sure if they sell it anymore.”

“Can I have it?”

“Sure.” Kristen placed Royal back on the table.

“I think Gina just saved my life Nintendo!”

Kristen and Gina began handing down boxes to Chris. After they cleared the debris, they laid down a rug, hung posters and Christmas lights for ambience.

Royal and Nintendo looked around in approval, “Enchanting,” remarked Royal.

“I’m going to come up here all the time,” said Gina.

“I would have killed for a space like this when I was your age. Come on, let’s go make something to eat.” Kristen and Gina climbed down and closed the hatch behind them, and their voices moved out of range.

“We survived another round of cleanup,” Said Nintendo.

“Seems we did.”

“They couldn’t get rid of us, could they? We’re state of the art.”

“I’m afraid we’re not Nintendo, we are one trick ponies, these new machines serve multiple purposes now.”

Royal and Nintendo watched Chris take the boxes from the attic to the road, the act of placing something at the curb seems to summon the street scavengers, who appear out of nowhere.

“Where does all that stuff end up?”

“God knows Nintendo, the dump truck will claim what they leave.”

***

Gina and Kristen returned the following weekend. Kristen had a stack of paper and a new ink-ribbon, she placed the paper on the table and opened up Royal to installed it.

“What’s happening?" Asked Nintendo

“I’m coming out of retirement!”

Kristen inserted a piece of paper and rolled the knob until it was in place, she pressed keys at random.

“I can feel the ink running through my veins Nintendo! Just a few more key strokes” The letters became brighter with each passing, until they shined midnight black.

Kristen gave Gina a tutorial. “With typewriters you have to put a little more thought into your writing, it’s not easy to correct mistakes.”

After Kristen was happy with her lesson, she kissed Gina on the head and climbed down the attic hatch.

Gina stayed all night, typing away at Royal. “Why did people stop using these, they’re so fun.”

“I have no idea!” Answered Royal.

Nintendo was living vicariously through Royal, “I’m happy for you, my friend!”

“Thank you, Nintendo. feels nice to be appreciated.”

***

Royal looked down on the driveway, Kristen's car was gone she had taken Gina somewhere. They must be out getting me more ink, thought Royal.

Moments later Chris opened the attic hatch and climbed up, he grabbed Nintendo and Royal and brought them downstairs and placed them in a box by the front door. All the garbage from Christmas was waiting there to be taken out.

Nintendo looked at the garbage bags and came undone, “we’re being thrown out Royal! This is outrageous! I’m a state-of-the-art entertainment system! He can’t!”

“Let’s meet our end with dignity Nintendo, we knew this day would come. Whatever horrors await us at the landfill we will face together.”

Chris was putting city tags on the extra garbage bags when the doorbell rang. Chris picked up the box with Royal and Nintendo and opened the door.

A man was standing there.

“It’s the garbage man, you son of a bitch Chris,” screamed Nintendo. 

“Hi Dave?” asked Chris.

“Yes, hi Chris, we spoke on the phone, nice to meet you.”

Chris set the box down in front of him, “so, you collect 80’s merch?”

“Yes, I collect everything 80’s.” The man picked up Nintendo and Royal, appraising them both. “I’ll give you $150 for the Nintendo and games and $100 for the typewriter.”

‘We agreed on $225 for the Nintendo and games over the phone.” 

“I’m sorry but it’s not in mint condition.”

"We're being sold Nintendo!"

Chris’s attention shifted when Kristen and Gina pulling into the driveway.

 Gina got out first and the man moved aside for her. Out of her periphery, she noticed Royal, “Dad don’t sell the typewriter, I’ve been using it!”

“$125 for the typewriter.” The man intervened.

“Dad!”

Kristen stepped in when she realized what was happening, “I’m sorry there’s been a mistake, that typewriter is not for sale, it’s mine.” Kristen grabbed the typewriter and gave Chris a cross look on her way in with Gina in toe.

“Nintendo!!!” Royal screamed as they were separated.

“$200 for the Nintendo and games,” the man countered.

Nintendo used every ounce of his being to telepathically project two words into Chris’s mind: DON’T SELL.

Chris held his Nintendo in his hands. The man reached out, which made Chris instinctively pull away, and that seemed to wake him up, “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I can’t sell it.”

The man held eye contact with Chris, "What?"

Chris realized he had to make a concession, he pulled a twenty-dollar-bill from his wallet. “I’m very sorry about all this, take this is for your time and gas.”

The man reluctantly took the bill; he mumbled something under his breath as he walked back to his car.

Chris went back in the house where he was verbally abused by Kristen, Gina, Royal and Nintendo. He returned Royal and Nintendo back to the attic.

“Can you believe it Nintendo? The magic power of nostalgia! We are collector’s items; we’ll never see the landfill!”

“State-of-the-art!” Replied Nintendo.