"A big rescue." by Ye Wint Aung

Submitted into Contest #85 in response to: Write about someone fighting to keep their city neighborhood the same.... view prompt


Fiction Happy Friendship

In a peaceful neighborhood, people walk in the park, go to cafe and chat with their friends. In the neighborhood, there is a river side path which brings the people together. The river side is a peaceful place where animals such as birds, ducks and other lives and they are all fed by people who goes there. When you visit the river side path at night, you can see the beautiful night skies with stars and the moon.

 It’s also clean and it’s very trending now. Seeing the green trees with birds chirping with waves of water coming up to the coast slowly, it’s very relaxing and a good place to do exercises or relax and chat. Every single person in that neighborhood goes there almost every day to relax.

 Richard Ranson lives in that neighborhood too and goes there every day. He finds everyone in his neighborhood there every day relaxing and trying to enjoy their life. Everything is going well and to make sure the river side path doesn’t get old, people donated money and every year there is something more special than last year. Benches, trees and picnic areas are brought ever year. The neighbors are always excited to go there and Richard himself enjoys it there. It’s a lot of fun and Richard made new friends almost every day with the neighbors.

 Richard woke up in the morning as usual and get ready to go for a walk and relax before he goes to work. He went there and was surprise to see everyone looking at the man. He went to talk to the neighbors about what happened. The neighbors told him” The land lord is destroying the river side path to make a building.” That wasn’t good news at all. The river side path means a lot to everyone in the neighborhood. The land lord can’t do that to them but he has control of the land in that neighborhood. 

The neighbors forced him not to destroy that but he won’t listen. Everyone kept telling him not to do it. That was the most disappointing day of Richard’s and the neighbors’ life. The only place which brought them together and made their neighborhood so special is now gone. The construction building begins tomorrow and he can’t get a thousand signatures in a day. He needs more time, that day he went to the neighbor’s house and searched a volunteer to help collect the signatures. Almost everyone volunteer and help him.

 First, they all signed on the paper and spread out to get more signatures. They need about two thousand or more signatures but they couldn’t get them in a day. At 6.00 everyone came home and they had 784 signatures. They need more time and more signatures to save the path. Richard knows what he needs to do that will save time, but that was the hardest and most irresponsible thing he’s ever done in his life!

At night, he sneaked out to the construction site. He carefully avoided the security cameras and went in to the garage where they keep their machines and trucks. He sabotaged the machines and trucks. His ID card from his work fell out of his pocket. He left without noticing it was gone. The card is stick in the gap of the truck’s door.

In the following morning, everyone gathered at the construction site waiting for the land lord to arrive. Richard saw a card at the gap of the truck's door. He rushed and tried to get the card. The land lord saw him grabbing something but didn’t know what he grabbed. The land lord was about to search him, but one of the neighbors stall the land lord and the land lord forgot about him. The neighbor stand out and saved his life as a true friend.

The land lord is surprise to see their machines and trucks broken. He knows it is sabotage so he hired a security to look after them at night. Everyone spread out to get more signatures to save the river side path. They found some volunteers on the way. It took the land lord and his crew a day to fix the machines and trucks and called it a day.

Everyone gathered and had a total of 1,788 signatures. He can’t get more time by sabotaging the trucks again because the security is there. That night, he posted a video on you tube about people to volunteer and save it from the land lord. He also told the media to come and convince the land lord not to destroy it tomorrow morning. He was asleep that night when he got 2,576 views with lots of likes and comments saying they would help them save it from the land lord.

Everyone in the neighborhood gathered and showed the land lord the signatures. He doesn’t care about the signatures. “I don’t care about the signatures you all collected, this is my property and I can destroy or build whatever I want.” said the land lord. Just as soon as the crew was about to destroy it, they heard some footsteps. It was not the footsteps of a normal person walking. The noises are loud as an army. Everyone looked at the direction where the footsteps came from.

The land lord is shock. There were hundreds of people rushing to the land lord convincing him not to destroy it. The land lord couldn’t handle the pressure of the marching army of people he backed up and told everyone he won’t touch it. He made a contract to the people and gave the land to them. They were all very happy about what they’ve done to save it. 

Now, the land is now the property of the people and they made it a better place. They expand the areas and made it more relaxing with more trees and comfortable chairs and benches with more picnic area. More people came to see it and relax and post photos, videos and reviews about it and became more popular. For the people, it was a happy ending to save it in the way it should have been.

March 14, 2021 05:34

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02:29 Mar 15, 2021

I am very happy to see paragraph breaks in this story!! I do have a few critiques though: -much like the other story I read of yours, you switch between present and past tense quite a bit. Please try to stick to one for the story -at the very beginning you used 2nd person, before switching to 3rd for the plot. While this can be used to enhance a story, it oftentimes can make the story sound awkward instead. -you avoided dialogue, and the one sentence you did put in, you didn’t separate from the paragraph. Dialogue would’ve been REALLY good ...


Ye Wint Aung
12:29 Mar 15, 2021

Thanks for your advice. I will try to make it better. I am going to submit a new story soon, by the way i am reading some of your stories. :)


20:26 Mar 15, 2021

Awesome! And I'll read your new story as soon as it comes out!


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