All that stress for nothing!

“Hmm I’m not really sure about the blue dress. I do really like it but….. I think it shows too much cleavage. It’s a little bit too racy for my style”. “What about the red skirt with the white shirt then?” the shop assistant asked, already showing she was fed up by the lack of positive vibes coming from the customer. She had to put up with the indecisiveness and the same old ‘I’m not too sure. I’ll try it on one more time. I think the green dress makes my waist look wide. Maybe the first skirt with the last blouse might look good. I’ll need to think about it a bit more. I might come back tomorrow with my friend’. There were a million excuses used for not buying anything in the end, and most people had no intention of coming back with their friend the next day!  Sales had been down for a while now, and she really had hoped to finish the day with a sale.

It was getting late and she had started early today as the other assistant was sick, and was now finishing late. She didn’t mind so much as she got paid extra, but her legs were aching and she was hungry.

“So have you decided on anything?” she asked the girl, who looked to be in her twenties. She was trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice and a fake smile on her face. It was getting harder by the minute. “Well I can’t actually make a decision. I’m so confused. I really need something to wear for Friday night so I will bring my best friend in tomorrow and she’ll tell me what she thinks” said the nervous customer, trying not to think of how long she had actually been trying on clothes, and then leaving empty handed. ”Yes, what a good idea to bring your friend in – it’s always good to get a second opinion”. Hopefully we will see you tomorrow then” she replied, not believing a word of it,  and quickly locked the door behind the customer. She was trying to put all the clothes that had been left in a pile on the changing room seat back on their coat hangers. They were supposed to be put back on the racks in correct order – size and colour, but she said out loud “Stuff it tonight, I’ll do it in the morning”, and quickly went to finish adding up the till.

“How did the shopping go? Buy anything for Friday?” Janie asked her best friend. “No I don’t think anything looks nice on me. I’m such an odd shape. I should never have said I would go on this date. He won’t like me and I won’t look nice anyway. I’ve decided I’m not going so I won’t need to buy something to wear” Liz rambled in a monotone and self-pitying voice. “Have you quite finished Liz? Now stop being ridiculous. You will look fabulous. You always do. And what’s wrong with your shape. A lot of girls have massive hips and big bums”….Janie said with her back to Liz, a big grin on her face. “What did you say? Have I really got massive hips and a big bum? I haven’t - have I?” Liz asked in a shocked voice, hoping Janie was just kidding “No of course you haven’t but I had to get your attention. You’re in one of your ‘self-destructive’ moods and the reason for that is the blind date! You’re just nervous, AND you have no confidence in how you look. That’s all. Come here and give me a hug you stupid thing. Would you like me to come with you tomorrow after work and help you to find something to wear?” she asked, knowing it would require plenty of patience and fortitude but willing to do it for someone who deserved to meet a nice guy.

On her way to meet Liz, Janie thought about her best friend. She was shy at the best of times and had only been out on a couple of dates in the last ten years or so, and these dates weren’t with strangers – she had previously worked with one of them, and the other one she had grown up with, but there were no second dates from either of them. How is she going to go meeting a stranger? I’ll have to give her some tips for Friday and hope she takes them to heart. That’s if we get to Friday and she is still willing to meet him.

The ‘him’ was a brother of Janie’s work colleague. She’d been told he was funny, a good conversationalist, good looking, not married (a must!) and very confident (hopefully not too confident.) “Well if you don’t start dating soon Liz life is just going to pass you by” Janie told her the other day. She herself didn’t really believe that, at only twenty seven years of age, but she wanted Liz to think it!

When she asked her colleague if there was any chance her brother would be willing to go on a blind date with her friend, she said yes without hesitating or even asking her brother. “Oh he will for sure. No worries there. He’s always going out on dates. He loves it. Don’t get me wrong – he’s not a sleaze or anything, but he’s a nice guy and a good catch, so he gets asked a lot. Your friend will have a great time”. “Let’s hope so”, Janie replied, but in the back of her mind was doubt creeping in that Liz would even turn up! ‘Oh my goodness, she did come back with her friend. I’m sorry Miss Blondie’, the clothes shop assistant thought. ‘I really shouldn’t have doubted you’! Putting on her friendly face and voice, she welcomed them in, saying “Oh how nice to see you again. Now try on whatever you like and if you need any help at all, just give me a yell. You looked fabulous in a lot of outfits you tried on yesterday so I’m sure you’ll find something. Friday wasn’t it that you’re going out?” and she bustled off to have a sit down out the back until she was needed.

“Oh she seems really nice. Good customer service remembering it was Friday. Did you tell her it was a blind date?” asked Janie. “No of course I didn’t. I can’t remember looking good in any of the clothes I tried on yesterday, and I bet she didn’t really think I did either, so I’m not going to tell her I’m meeting someone I don’t even know and make myself seem really desperate, am I?” Liz answered rather crossly. ‘Deep breath’ Janie said to herself, and out loud “Ok let’s get started on our ‘Find Liz something to wear’ mission.

It was hard work, but in the end they had a dress that fitted Liz perfectly, but most importantly she was happy with it, and as a bonus, it didn’t cost two months wages. The shop assistant was happy to ring the till up, say goodbye to the two friends, and sigh at the mountain of clothes and hangers that needed to be matched.

“So you’re off on another date this weekend? Someone you know or blind?”. “No I don’t know her. It’s Leanne’s workmate’s friend. I think I’ve got that right.” replied Glen. “Do you know anything about her?” enquired his brother. “No nothing. Oh yeah, her name is Liz”. “You picking her up or meeting her there?” he wanted to know. “No I’ll have to meet her somewhere. I’m playing in a 5-30 game of basketball.  The B team is a player short and they asked me. It will be pushing it but if I bring the clothes I’m going to wear, I’ll just have a shower at the club rooms and go from there. I’ll get her number from Leanne and then send her a message asking where she would like to meet. I’m easy. “Don’t forget your shoes this time. Not every girl is happy with a blind date turning up with dirty old sneakers on. Remember that other time you met that really tall girl in Giorgio’s?

‘Well  she wasn’t happy with what I was wearing on my feet, especially in that classy place, but I don’t think that was the only reason for the ‘you’re a lovely man….. just not the type of person I am looking for, but I wish you luck in the future’ brush off! Still you can’t win ‘em all!”

“What’s wrong Liz?” asked Janie. With the worry in her voice it could easily have been that she crashed her car, or her beloved fifteen year old Kelpie had died, or even that she had been given her marching orders from her job, but to Liz it was much worse than that……”I am supposed to be going on a blind date this Friday” she said in a slightly raised voice with a hint of exasperation. “Yes I’m well aware of that” replied Janie, of course not adding but thinking of the trauma she had just been through finding a suitable dress with her friend. “So what’s the problem?” Janie enquired. “Well I think I’m getting a cold sore” Liz wailed like a baby. “Is that it? You’ve rung me in a state just because you’re getting a cold sore? Here’s what you do. Start putting ice on it when you get home. Keep the ice block on till your lip goes numb – all evening. It works. Jeff had to do it when he got married. It worked for him. All he had was a red mark, probably frost bite, but no sore. You can always put make up on a red patch”. Liz had pulled herself together at hearing this hopeful remedy. “Oh ok I’ll try that. Thanks Janie. What would I do without you?” and she hung up. ‘Sometimes I’d like to do without all your drama and worry for a while’ thought Janie taking a deep breath.

“Can I get a lift from you after basketball this Friday night?” Rob quite often asked Glen for a lift. He lived quite a way from the centre and caught the bus in, usually straight from his job at the warehouse. His epilepsy stopped him from driving a car so because of this he relied solely on public transport or Glen. It was difficult for him to ask for a lift but he had felt relaxed in Glen’s company and never embarrassed or ill at ease asking. “It’s just that I’m meeting some friends at the pizza place and I know you don’t live far from there.” Glen knew he should say ‘no’ - Friday night was already going to be a rush and the pizza place was the opposite direction from where he would probably be headed. “Of course mate” he replied. We’ll have to be quick though as I’m going out too”.

“Where shall I say? I don’t know where to go. I haven’t been out anywhere for ages. Help me Janie. Where would you say to meet him – a stranger – someone you’ve never seen before? I don’t want to be presumptuous and go somewhere expensive, although I’ll definitely be paying for half of the meal. What about that Italian restaurant on High Street? What’s the food like there? Oh I’ve just thought that if I have muscles I might get the red sauce all over myself” she rattled on, oblivious to the fact that Janie was filing her nails and only half listening. “Don’t have muscles then”. Was her reply to the babble of questions. “No really Janie, help me, I have to decide. I don’t feel like going now. Maybe I’ll just not go. I’ll ring him and tell him”. Liz was flustered. She didn’t like decision making at the best of times, but this seemed like it would be a major catastrophe if she didn’t choose the right venue. “You can’t go wrong with ‘Lincolns’. You can be any nationality, a vegetarian, come in casual gear or be tarted up. Make it there Liz and maybe you can stop stressing!”

“I’ve just got a text from my blind date for Friday and it looks like we’re off to Lincoln’s. That’s alright. I was there not long ago and the food’s pretty good.” “You wouldn’t care where it was. I’ve lived in the same house as you for over twenty years and as long as your plate is overflowing and the price tag is good, you’re happy”. Glen’s brother mused. “Yeah you’re right about that brother” replied Glen laughing to him.

“How do I look Janie? Are these earrings too big?” Liz wanted to know as she peered in the full length mirror front on, side on and then trying to see as far behind her as humanly possible. “You look fabulous…for the hundredth time. I’ve told you, the dress fits perfectly, your hair is amazing in that style and before you even ask, No! Your derriere doesn’t look big!!”. “I am so nervous, feel my hands, I’m sweating” and she reached out her hand to Janie. “No thank you I’ll pass on touching your clammy paw. You’ll be fine. Glen is apparently a really lovely guy and if you don’t like him just enjoy the evening, I’ll pick you up when you text me, and you never have to see him again”.

The basketball had finished a little later than usual. They won for a change so there were ‘high fives’ all around but as Glen looked at his watch he realised just how late it was. He was red faced and sweating profusely as he tried to get his sweaty top off “Hey Rob, can you make it a quick shower mate, I have a date tonight and I’m cutting it fine”. “Sure” Rob answered as he raced into the shower and Glen hurriedly stepped into the next cubicle.

He had remembered to bring his shoes with him this time, so as Glen stepped outside into the cool refreshing air, he looked quite respectable, and suitable for a blind date at Lincoln’s.

As he drove Rob to the pizza place, Glen was still wiping his brow where the persistent beads of perspiration kept forming. He had both windows down to let the air in, so by the time he got to the High Street, he felt a lot cooler and had stopped sweating.

He parked, and opened his car door, glancing in the mirror for a final check, and realised that he hadn’t even combed his hair after the shower. With no comb or brush, Glen improvised….and ran his fingers through his short hair, glanced in the mirror again and was satisfied with what he saw.

As he walked to the restaurant he checked his back pocket for his wallet and felt it was there. ‘Imagine if I didn’t have that with me’ he laughed to himself.

Getting Liz out of the house and into her car without any talk of ‘not going and not looking good’ was a miracle! It made the journey to the High Street a lot more pleasant than she expected it was going to be. “Shall I wait with you Liz?” she asked her friend. “No I think I’m ok. He should be here any minute. I’ve seen his photo so at least I now know what he looks like. I don’t know if he knows what I look like  but maybe that’s a good thing”.. I’ll just text you when this is over to come and get me Janie. Thanks a lot for everything”. “You make it sound like you’re getting sentenced. Cheer up and enjoy it! It will be fun.” and with that, as she blew her friend a kiss, she saw her take out her little mirror to check her hair and face once again!

Liz recognized Glen and liked what she saw. Glen was just relieved that he had actually got there on time, but was then very impressed with the gorgeous girl waiting outside the restaurant.

“I think the blind date must have been successful” Janie said out loud after reading her text from Liz. “At least now I’m not needed to pick Liz up I can get into bed”.