Baseball Parenting

Baseball Parenting

           The idiom “giving it the old college try” was adopted into the American language in the early 1920’s. The phrase expresses the notion of persistence and determination to achieve a goal even when the odds of success are not in one’s favor or are out of one’s control. What better application fits the institution of parenthood? It is the spot-on idiom regarding the effort of rearing children.

           The fact that the phrase did not originate on a college campus is a solid meld with the fact that no college degree or technical training is required for the job of parenthood. We are all self-starters in an informal learn-as-you-go program.

           This well-known and often-used idiom was born, of all places, on a baseball field. Babe Ruth eternalized the quote in his 1928 book, The Book of Baseball.  This is very apropos, since the game is a good metaphor for the endeavors of parenthood. The field is called a diamond, for Pete’s sake, and as we urge our rough gems around the bases, our aim is to produce a sparkling diamond when the run is scored. 

There are many obstacles, however, some we expect and some that take us by surprise. Yet we put forth our best efforts through faith and works.  We don’t do it because we are slick and calculated professionals. We are more like sandlot players, unrefined but enthusiastic. We do it for the love of the game.

           In this comparison of America’s favorite pastime, Life is the pitcher, the child is the lead-off batter, and the coach is you, the parent. Life throws the ball, and if your batter doesn’t strike out, she seems to run at lightning speed to first base.

           This is the first leg of the “old college try” in parenting. Infants are delicate and require around the clock care. Toddlers get into all sorts of mischief and dangerous situations and childhood diseases can be unforgiving. They must be taught along the way to not touch the hot stove, not to put everything in their mouths, to keep objects away from electrical outlets, and how to maneuver stairs. They are also taught how to interact socially, the difference in right and wrong, and an exhausting list of important knowledge that will see them through the first ten years of life. If the runner makes it to first base safely, be grateful. You are not a hero yet even though that young baller probably considers you one, for now. Savor this short time. It passes all too quickly.

           The advance to second base is a nail-biter and seems to play out in slow motion. For one thing, a different batter moves to the plate. Circumstances change, not to mention that you are no longer the only influence in your child’s life. Other parents, teachers and peers all have different batting styles that can produce foul balls, wild balls, pop-flies and grounders. All of these will affect your player in different ways. You’ll see him change. He’ll strain to move beyond reach, high on the cheers of his peers, and he forgets for a while his coach’s involvement in his first base success. 

First to second base runners won’t always wait for natural progression to take place. They are interested in making a name for themselves, so they will try any and all opportunities to move forward.  Activities will include sneaking, stealing, sliding, and dancing outside the baselines to get around consequences. Sometimes physical contact is involved, sometimes there’s a close call, in which case an umpire is called on to make a judgement. Hopefully no one gets seriously hurt. In this segment of base advancement, these “invincible” players attempt the “old college try” routine for themselves, testing their limits; learning to recognize the strengths in opponents; determining the risks and stakes involved. It is, for better or worse, an integral part of the game. For a parent, this period from ten to twenty years old is a stressful time, and anyone who has been through it would not doubt that you are on your way to achieving all-star status, albeit a bit bedraggled.

           If the player obtains second base without getting hurt or taken off the field, the trip to third is yet another challenge. The pitches and hits never lessen in intensity, but the runner is wiser, and has learned by this time to listen to the coach. She hears the crowd, or society in this case, yelling and screaming and gesturing varied opinions regarding her next move, each one a self-appointed manager. But the minute she hears the smack of the bat against the ball, a good player immediately looks to the coach who understands the big picture playing out on the field and can offer the best advice for moving forward.

           Third base success marks the beginning of adulthood. Society bombards these young people with opposing ideas and expectations. They have to decide for themselves if the way their parents think is the way for them or if they will choose another way. But if gratitude and respect grow within your young adult, life will be much easier for her to navigate.

           Now is the point at which the runner can score, make his mark, cross home plate. The runner focuses, assumes a ready stance, and surrenders total trust to the coach. Life pitches the ball, and the batter swings. Ball placement is very important here, because all members of the opposing team are concentrating on getting that ball back to home plate as soon as humanly possible to prevent a score. It’s a tense time, and as a parent you hope that batter places the ball if not over the fence, then somewhere that at least gives your child a sporting chance. 

           We pray our child will run well,press toward the mark, make the right decisions in his life. We love him no matter what, but our whole “college try” has been the development of his character.  We watch as he pumps his arms and legs, hear the breath surging in his lungs, see the determination on his face as the ball nears the catcher’s mitt. We cheer as he lunges forward, body planed, and hand extended to reach the plate a nanosecond before the ball smacks into the mitt. “Safe!” yells the umpire, and the crowd goes wild.

           After the game, the player is put through an evaluation. Is she a team player or a grandstander? Is he thoughtful of others or self-centered? Is she kind and considerate? Can he be depended on to put forth his best effort? Does she get upset and give up too soon? Does he brush the dust from his uniform and hold his head high, knowing he gave it his best? Is she a leader? Also, does this player tip his hat to the coach, look into the stands with a smile, and enter the cheering dugout with humility?

           If so, then we as coaches, feel our efforts were met with respect and were well represented on the field, the “old college try” paying off for everyone involved.

Sounds daunting, but that’s baseball parenting, and you really won't understand it until you try.