Leahs Church

Leah's Church

Leah walks through the theater's stage door and tries to shake her umbrella outside as she holds the door open with her rear end. The rain has been brutal all day and filled the gutters with streams of water. This could have been a night like so many others in her theater career, but this night is different. Leah is prepared to have a great show and not get too mired down with emotions. She checks in at the desk, smiles, and hugs the stage manager, and begins her kind of superstitious routine to get ready for the show. 

She loves the quiet time in the backstage area, and that's why she likes to arrive early for performances. The rigging and set pieces are all in place, ready for the show. The ceilings are very high backstage, and it is dark and immense but never unwelcoming. There is a comforting, familiar feeling amidst all the components. She wants to remember every moment of this night, so she pays particular attention to the details surrounding her. The smells backstage are mixed with the aromas of wood, and paint, face makeup, and above all, anticipation. Something extraordinary is about to happen; you can sense it. Every night with each performance, song, dance, and dialogue feels new. The excitement is intoxicating. Tonight will be magical.

Leah puts her bags in her dressing room, puts on her character shoes, then walks out onto the stage to warm up. Karl is sitting at the piano. It's emotional for both of them, but they are pragmatic and professional as well as friends. There is no doubt they are up for the task. Karl knows she is retiring and could not convince her to wait. He has tried. Like Leah told him, she wants to leave while still in love with performing. He knows she has given this brave decision a lot of thought.

After some stretches, Leah takes several deep breaths and looks out into the empty, beautiful house. Her warm-up this night will be her last, so she takes special care and spends more time than usual. While Leah sings, she closes her eyes. The power of her voice fills the entire space. There were moments in her career, she could literally bounce her voice off the back of the house during performances.

She hugs Karl a little longer than usual and takes the long way back to her dressing room after warm-ups. Actors are arriving as well as stagehands getting ready for the night. The excitement is growing. Leah loves the soft illumination from the work and small backstage lights, and it almost feels like the yellow glow from candlelight. It's warm and calming.

The theater is Leah's church, and she worships here every night, either in performance or rehearsal. For thirty years, theater marked her hopes, triumphs, and attention. Moments of life off stage are never without the consideration and reverence for the place she has given her heart to. It had not been an easy journey, but Leah has paid her dues. Her successful career is about her talent and doing what she loves to do. It had never been about stardom. That idea is for amateurs. 

Leah stands in the wings upstage before she heads to her dressing room. The first time she stood there thirty years ago, waiting for her entrance in her first professional production. It was from that same vantage point, years later, looking out into the audience and seeing her ex-husband and his new child bride. She thought they looked ridiculous. Leah feels powerful and in some control on stage. She has something they will never know and can only dream of living. 

Back in her dressing room, she moves the gifts of flowers and well wishes to the table by the door. Her makeup and wigs are all neatly placed in front of her. Leah sits at her makeup table and takes a long look in the mirror. She loves what she sees. Beauty was never her burden, but she was blessed with an expressive and happy face. It could adapt and morph into many characters. Now she is adjusting to her authentic self, and her face reflects it. Applying her false eyelashes, Leah looks in the mirror, and for a minute, remembers the first and only time she fell in love with her lead actor. Her eyes were full of hope during that romance. It was fun to have stolen kisses backstage. It was a story Leah would not repeat with anyone else. After the show ended, both lovers parted respectfully and resumed their separate lives. This same mirror was and is a witness to all the romantic drama. It was a wonderful memory Leah enjoyed thinking about without any regrets.

Billy comes in to help her into her first costume. He is her dresser and friend of thirty years, and he is wearing a tuxedo. Leah knows he is dressed up for her. He is skilled in making her look her very best, and there were many nights in the past, he saved her sanity with his humor and quiet strength, especially when there were fast costume changes or costume emergencies. Tonight will be their last show together, but Billy instinctively remains unemotional. He can't imagine how Leah must be feeling.

The stage manager calls "places," and Leah and Billy make their way backstage. It's now when Leah sees all the stagehands wearing tuxedos too. This makes her feel happy and grateful for this expression of love and respect. Leah goes to her place in the wings before her entrance and looks around her, making sure she remembers all aspects of this moment. Finally, she is ready to let go and move on to another chapter in her life.

Time gently holds Leah by the hands and won't let her falter. She is at peace with her decision. It is Leah's choice to willingly take her cue to bow out. Others are waiting in the wings for their first entrance, just as Leah did many years ago.