The Love of My Life

I could smell the freshly baked cookies from down the street. Mrs. Walker volunteered to provide desserts for the state fair. Every year, she has a stand in the center of the fairgrounds. She was just the sweetest old lady, everybody loves her. Her husband died a few years back, and I don't think she ever recovered from that. I can't even begin to imagine what would happen if Ronan died.

I am 17. I know I am young. But I truly love Ronan. I believe that he was put in my path for a reason, and if it is not to be my love, then what is it? I truly believe that he is meant to be in my life forever. It's fate. Everything happens for a reason. He is just perfect. His tall body, blonde hair, blue eyes, deep voice, all of it. I love every inch of him.

Ronan visited me in the hospital last year. He held my hand the whole time. I was at my lowest. I was being harassed and bullied relentlessly. It eventually got too much for me to handle. Sometimes I wonder if I was meant to live. But like I said, everything happens for a reason, so for some reason, God decided that I need to live for now.

It was 12:08 am. Ronan and I were parked at the park. We put the seats down and opened the sunroof. I asked him if I was the only one he loves. He kissed me and assured me that I was the only one he needed. We stargazed until 1 am. I had a curfew and it was well past 11:30. Ronan started to drive me home. He had one hand on the steering wheel and the other grasping mine.

As he dropped me off, he kissed me goodbye. I got butterflies in my stomach per usual. He drove off and I smiled. I'm so lucky to have him. If I went through the front door, my mother would notice and she would freak out. I decided to go to the back of the house and climb through my window. To my surprise, my dog didn't bark, which means my parents were still sound asleep.

The next morning, I have history in 1st hour. That class I have with Ronan. He sits at my table. I keep getting looks from Gavin. I liked him from 6-7th grade. He's still bitter about how I stopped giving him attention after I fell for Ronan. He's an asshole. I don't know why I ever liked him.

Ronan is considered a jock I guess. He plays baseball, basketball, soccer, and football, and he's on a swim team. I am not athletic whatsoever. I'm in band and I play the saxophone of all instruments. Ronan used to always just hang out with his jock friends. I would always hang out with my band friends. It worked. The only reason we even became mildly interested in each other was because of a seating arrangement in 8th grade. The teacher sat us next to each other and we would laugh and make jokes the entire class period.

I had no clue that he would've even considered dating me. I'm not exactly skinny or pretty or anything. He always reassures me that I am pretty, but I don't really believe it. And it's not like I'm fat either, I'm just kind of in the middle. He is skinnier than I am. I used to hate myself because of it. I was self-conscious about my body and my looks. I couldn't pull anybody in the first few years of middle school, and that is when my mental health started to go downward.

When I was in 6th grade, I got bullied a lot. I started to starve myself. That is not a path I think anyone should decide to take. It can lead to major eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia. It never got that serious, but it was close. I had to be put in therapy to fix it.

I have been a hopeless romantic all of my life. I always wanted to have a boyfriend. I was always lonely and longing for that type of relationship, that type of love. I listened to a lot of Taylor Swift growing up. I am still a huge fan of hers. I would say that I am probably either a Speak Now girlie, or a Lover girlie.

I have had lots of crushes growing up, rarely would they like me back. My first boyfriend was in pre-school, but I don't think I would count that. Other than him, Ronan is my first boyfriend. When you know, you know. I believe we were destined to be together. My middle school years were filled with sitting by my locker, fantasizing, and creating love playlists on Spotify. I was pathetic.

Ronan has never pressured me into anything. He always asks if I am ok with something. He has always treated me right. I remember the first time he said 'I love you'. It was April 17, 2018. We were in 8th grade. He had taken me to see A Star Is Born at the movie theater. We got ice cream after and he said that he loved me so much.

I will always love Ronan. Really. He makes my life better. Our parents get along with each other. I believe it is just a perfect match. He is filled with kindness and support. I will never find another guy like him. I need to cherish the moments I have with him. Every day I am worried that he will just pack up and leave. I don't think he would actually do that, but you may think you know someone until you realize they are nothing like who they say they are.

I don't think Ronan is like that. He is genuine with his words. He is good with my parents, and my little sister. He is good with animals. He is truly perfect. He is smart, he is humorous. He is anything and everything I could ever ask for. He would never cheat on me, or ghost me. He is truly just an amazing human being.