The Time Clock

*Trigger Warning*

This story deals with themes of suicide.

Noah Reynolds sat on the couch, curled up with his wife, Heather, as they watched a movie. His phone rang. On the screen was the name Meredith. It was his best friend’s wife. He had agreed to meet up with him for drinks but bailed at the last minute saying he wasn’t feeling well. Honestly, he just didn’t feel like going out tonight and wanted to spend a quiet evening at home with his wife. He couldn’t surrender his man-card by admitting that to his buddy though, so he lied.

Meredith had always been good at catching him in a lie, so he sent it to voicemail. Moments later it rang again.

He decided to pick up this time, just in case it was an emergency. People rarely called him back-to-back like that. He put the phone up to his ear.

“Hello,” he answered. He heard a woman crying on the other end, “Meredith? Are you there? What’s wrong?”

A hysterical voice came from the other end, and Noah sat forward resting his elbows on his knees and running the fingers of his free hand along his brow. “What- what happened? I just talked to him a couple of hours ago.”

Noah’s wife was miming a question at him, a look of concern on her face, but Noah held up his finger to say he would fill her in a moment. She dropped her hands to her lap and waited impatiently

“Meredith, I don’t know what to say… I’m so sorry. Let us know if we can do anything.” Noah ended the call.

He turned to his wife, shock and disbelief showing on his face. It took a moment for his brain to fully process the news he just received enough to form a sentence. In that space, Noah’s wife grew more and more concerned, “Honey, what happened? What did Meredith want? Is Dalton okay?”

Noah shook his head and cleared his throat to prevent his voice from cracking as he held back tears, “No. Apparently, he never came home after work. Meredith thought he was out with me until she got a call from the cops. Someone reported a jumper up at the old Parkway Bridge. They found him in the river and called her.”

“Oh my god!” Heather’s eyes became saucers, and her hands covered her gaping mouth. “Should we go over there? I don’t think she should be alone right now.”

“No, she said her mom is on the way over to stay with her for a few days and help her sort things out. She will let us know when they make arrangements.”

A couple of hours later, Noah was lying wide awake in the bed while his wife slept. He tried to close his eyes but he kept seeing his friend's face smiling, laughing, full of life. He wondered what was going on behind that smile to push him to end up on that bridge. He thought of how he had bailed on their plans. Would things have been different if he had just gone out to meet his friend? Would he still have decided to end his life?

With a sigh, Noah gave up trying to fall asleep and went downstairs to get a glass of water. On his way to the kitchen, he suddenly remembered an old clock that he had inherited from his grandfather, who had inherited it for his father, and so on. As the family story went, this clock had the ability to turn back time by 12 hours. Noah had never believed the silly story, but for the first time, he found himself wishing- hoping that the story was true. Where had he put that clock anyway? The attic? He abandoned his trip to the kitchen and headed for the attic stairs.

“Honey, what are you doing?” Heather's sleepy voice came at the door, as Noah was pulling a box down from the top shelf on the far side of the attic. “I thought an animal had gotten in, with all the noise you are making up here.”

“I’m sorry,” Noah sat the box down, “Do you remember the story I told you about the clock we got from my grandfather’s house after he died?”

“The one that turns back time?” she mocked.

“Yeah,” Noah grinned and turned his eyes to the fingernail he was picking at, “I know it’s silly, but after what happened, I couldn’t sleep. I keep thinking about how things might have been different If I had just gone out with him. Maybe he would have opened up about whatever was going on in his head. Maybe I could have helped him, or at least kept him away from that bridge.” He bit his lip to fight the tears welling up in his eyes, but they spilled out anyway, grief and guilt winning out over his pride.

His wife moved to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder “There is nothing you could have done,” She assured him. “Even if things had been different tonight, if you had met up with him- you might have kept it from happening now but that doesn't mean it wouldn’t happen later.”

“But I should have at least seen the signs! I’ve known the man for 20 years. How could I not know that he was thinking about something like this?” Noah buried his face in his hands.

“You can’t do that to yourself,” His wife knelt down in front of him and grabbed his hands forcing him to look her in the eyes, “This is not your fault. This was his choice, and you can’t tear yourself up trying to take responsibility for it. Do you hear me?”

Noah cast his eyes down. “Yes, I hear you,” He wrapped her in a tight hug, “You should go on back to bed. I’ll be down soon.”

She held his gaze for a long moment to make sure he was okay before agreeing and going back down to bed, leaving Noah alone in the attic.

He clung to the clock as tears spilled out onto its face, wishing more than ever that the stories about it were true. Wishing he could use it to bring his friend back. But with each second, the hands just kept ticking forward.