The Matched

I’m not ready, Lauren thought as she pushed in her studded earrings. She could feel Tiffany’s eyes burning into the back of her skull, urging her to hurry and finish getting ready. She carefully brushed blush onto her cheeks. She swept her long black hair back into a tidy bun. I’m not ready. 

“We’re going to be late if you keep stalling”, Tiffany finally voiced. 

“We can go.”

Lauren locked up their shared dorm, savoring the cool feeling of sliding the key into the door of a room she “owned”, knowing that soon they would no longer be roommates and she would no longer “own” anything. She remembered the first time she stepped foot into the dorms. The feeling of her parents dropping her off and wishing her well. The excitement and nervousness of living with someone besides her family. The anticipation of making new friends. It seems like just yesterday and already it was ending. Her fingers lingered on the door for a moment, before she tucked away the key with a sigh. Soon she would come back only to move her things. She pushed back against the wave of sadness that threatened to knock he over.

They began their trek from the dorms to the main campus. The sun beat pleasantly on their backs. Campus was alive with laughter and friends calling to each other as they made their way to class. Lauren would miss this. Across the lawn two of her friends waved to her. She thought of slowing down, of walking with them to class while she still could, but had already held Tiffany up long enough.

“Are you excited?”

“Excited for what”, Lauren feigned ignorance. She was something for sure. She could feel the emotion lodged into the back of her throat. It felt like when you ate too fast and needed to have water to fully digest what you’d ingested. Excitement was the last way she would describe it. 

“Why are you acting so strange? You know what.”

Lauren would miss their sister like bickering. She had never had a sister of her own, a fact she was grateful for.  Why have a sister, someone else to suffer the same fate that awaited her.  “Are you?” 

Tiffany clapped her hands together, her tiny pixie-like body nearly jumping for joy. Why couldn’t she feel like that? Lauren was almost jealous of her enthusiasm.  “I can’t wait to be a wife. I’ve waited my whole life for this moment.”

“You’ve waited your whole life to be property?” 

Tiffany huffed. “You sound so negative. You know that will make you incompatible right? You really don't want to end up having to be one of the ladies like Ms. Finch.”

“What’s so wrong with ending up like Ms. Finch?” 

Tiffany pursed her lips as they entered the main hall. Lauren blinked, trying to adjust her eyes from the stark difference of outside to the dimly lit building. Their teachers stood outside their respective classroom doors, welcoming in groups of girls who giggled gayly amongst themselves. Lauren hated that she could feel how excited everyone was. Looking left to right, everyone seemed to mimic Tiffany's bubbly anticipation. Of course they felt excited. This was the moment they’d all been waiting for. They were finally graduating. Finally going to meet their husbands. 

They entered class together, separating to go to their respective desks. The room was filled to the brim of anticipating voices. I hope he’s tall with dark eyes, Lauren heard one of the girls whisper. She desperately wanted to disappear. She’d give anything to blend into the flowered wallpaper decorating the room. 

Ms. Nesbitt entered the room, quieting their voices. She stood in front of the classroom, a satisfied smile on her lips. “This is it ladies. This is the moment we’ve studied and trained for.”

Lauren shifted in her seat, forcing herself to focus on the words rather than the feelings they stirred.

“Soon we will go to the Ceremony Hall and you will meet your new husbands. I have faith that you have all been trained with the best of my and my comrades' knowledge and will go on to be dutiful wives and successful members of The Society.

The class was filled with hushed whispers. Dread like a bag of rocks dropping into a lake seemed to pull her down. Lauren held her head from dropping to her chest. 

“Your parents have already arrived and await your matching in the hall. We will go now and await your husbands.”

In the Ceremony Hall, Lauren searched the sea of parents before locking eyes with her mother. Lauren smiled despite her anxiety, making her way past reuniting families to pull her mother into a bear hug. 

“Hello darling”, her fathers chilling voice nearly pulled her away from her mother. “Are you feeling proud of yourself for graduating? This is a big moment for you. You’re one step closer to becoming a member of The Society.”

Lauren offered her father a gentle smile, giving him a small bow. “Hello father. I am feeling proud. I hope that I am paired with a good man like you.”

Her father scoffed, puffing his chest out like a bird trying to assert his dominance. “It’s not your place to question if he will be a good or a bad man. Haven’t you learned that in your studies? It is his job to determine if you are a good woman.”

“Of course, my apologies for offending you father.”

Fred pulled his wife close. “Don’t embarrass us daughter. Go be with your classmates.”

Immense shame flooded through her. She dug her fingertips into her hands. Suddenly she was seven and having to watch her father berate her mother for failing to control her rushed into her mind. She shrieked away, anxious to retreat from his judging eyes. 

Corralled onto the stage, Lauren shuffled next to Tiffany and her friends. She hoped the proximity would rub some of their excitement off onto her, but all she felt settled into the pit of her stomach was dread. 

The lights were dimmed. The voices of the room died down. Boys masquerading as men shuffled into the hall. I wonder which one he is, Lauren thought as she flipped between all their faces. They all had the same look to them. The same military style haircut. The same piercing unwavering glare. They marched in like little toy soldiers. While Lauren had spent her time in school learning to take care of a home, take care of herself and a husband, the men had been learning how to be soldiers. The thought that she’d be soon living with one of these militant creatures made her naseous. 

 I can do this, she thought grimly. 

Ms. Nesbit gave a brief ceremony introduction, welcoming the young men into their academy. Then her voice was replaced with a man. Of course, women couldn’t be expected to lead The Ceremony. The man began the chant of The Society. Lauren felt her lips moving in robotic obedience. 

"We are the hands that build, the hearts that serve, the voices that obey.

Bound by duty, strengthened by order, we pledge our lives to The Society.

The men shall lead, the women shall follow.

The strong shall protect, the devoted shall nurture.

Together, we uphold the sacred balance.

We vow to honor the path laid before us.

To question is to falter, to falter is to fail.

Obedience is strength. Devotion is purpose.

Through unity, we thrive. Through duty, we endure.

For The Society, for our future, forever we stand.”

Quickly, he began to raddle off names. Lauren felt she was in a sick dream. A nightmare truly. Tiffany reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing gently. They locked eyes, Lauren only wished hers held as much hope as Tiffany's. Too soon, she heard her name. 

Lauren Finley, Robert McKinney.

It was done, she had been paired. Her life had been decided for her in a second. She seemed to be moving through a tunnel. Her stomach did somersaults and her knees threatened to stop holding her weight. 

The ceremony ended far too soon. Lauren stood paralyzed. Tiffany tugged at her arm. “Would you like to stay together to meet our new husbands?”

I would like to not meet him at all. 

Lauren nodded. The motion seemed to last years. Was time slowing down or was she losing her marbles? 

Two men approached them. Lauren felt the hairs on her arm stand up. Her arms prickled as goosebumps sprouted on her skin. She wanted to run. To escape back to the room that she would be forced to move out of soon. They walked with a certain confidence only men seemed to possess. They stopped in front of them and sized them up like they were cattle. They might as well have been. They were in fact property now.

“Look at these beautiful girls. Truly exquisite.” The first man chirped. 

Lauren felt something rise up in her. She spoke before her mind could comprehend what her lips uttered. “I’m not a girl, I’m a woman.” Immediately she felt herself shrink in horror. She hadn’t even been married yet and already she was messing up. That was one of the first rules that she learned. Never correct a man.

The shorter of the two men let out a laugh. His face was rounder, softer, than his counterparts. He stared at Lauren with the greenest eyes she’d ever seen in a man. They seemed to soften as he took her in.

“That you are. My woman, to be exact. I am Robert and I will be your husband.”

Husband. The thing she’d revered her entire time in The Academy. Here he was, not an authoritative figure but a living breathing person staring expectantly at her.

“She’s a feisty one”, his friend interjected. “Maybe she’s not good wife material.”

Tiffany’s face flushed. She opened her mouth, but her own training kicked in and she shut it without a word. Lauren felt shame. She wanted to feel betrayed, wishing that her friend could come to her rescue. But this was the moment Tiffany had wanted since they’d started the academy six years ago. She wanted nothing more than to be considered a good wife. Lauren knew she couldn’t risk being seen as anything other than such.

“I’m sure she’s fine. She is just going to learn me and my ways.” Robert smiled reassuringly. Lauren held back a sigh. He didn't seem terrible. 

“How about we take a walk?” He extended his arm out to her. In the distance Lauren saw her parents approaching, but once her father caught sight of the two, he ushered her mother away. Lauren swallowed her disappointment. Maybe she’d be able to spend some time with her mother when it was time to pack up her dorm. She linked arms with Robert, giving him a curt smile.

“Shall we?”

Robert led them from the hall, outside the main doors and into the courtyard. The evening air had chilled. Families sprinkled the lawn, talking in excited voices as they recently matched children began planning their new lives. Lauren wondered where Robert’s family was, but hesitated to ask. 

She allowed him to lead. Though his legs were longer, she found herself comfortably matching his pace. 

“Did you enjoy your schooling?”

Lauren nodded, biting at her bottom lip. “I enjoyed school very much. I’m almost sad that it’s over.”

Robert smiled. “Are you excited about being married?”

“It is my duty.”

Robert laughed, shaking their connected bodies. “But you’re not excited?”

Lauren stopped walking as they reached the gardens. It was late enough in the evening that it was nearly empty, minus a few couples. She chose a seat on the benches that sat at the beginning of the garden paths. “What is there to be excited about? I will be giving up my freedom. My voice. I will serve you. Have your kids. If I’m lucky I might have friends. I wouldn't say excited is the word.”

Robert took a seat next to her. He nodded thoughtfully. “It could be nice though. Being married.”

“It could be”, Lauren retorted lamely. “For you.”

Robert took her hand into his. She wanted to react surprised, but held in the feeling. She allowed him to take it. She felt her will dying. This was her job. This was expected of her.

“We could try and make it nice for you too. You know not all husbands are terrible. I think you might even end up liking me.”

“That would be a stretch.”

Robert laughed. If she could say anything about him he seemed to be in high spirits. She felt her lips tugging at a smile.

“Have you ever heard of Romeo and Juliet?”

Lauren racked her brain, before shaking her head no. 

“They were this young couple. They were from families that hated each other. Despite what was expected of them they decided to be together.”

“Be together like us?’

“No”, Robert interjected. “Better. Instead of someone choosing for them, they chose each other. They had feelings for each other. In the story, they actually loved each other.”

Lauren felt her heart accelerate. “What? Love? Like the forbidden?”

Robert grinned, pleased with himself. “Imagine feeling so strongly about someone you would be willing to love them.”

“I don’t see the purpose in something like that.” Lauren admitted. “I would much rather just follow.”

Robert took her face between his hands. “I know that you believe you have to serve me, but I would much rather you feel for me. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll even love me.”

They locked eyes. 

Love.

The word was foreign. Folklore, really. A whisper from the past, a relic of the world before The Society decided what was best. She had always thought of it as a myth, something spoken about in hushed tones and cautionary tales. And yet, here was Robert, speaking of it so plainly, as if it were something real. Something possible.

Lauren swallowed, the weight of expectation pressing down on her chest. She had been chosen. Her future was decided. There was no running from it.

But maybe—just maybe—there was room to redefine it.

“I don’t know how to love,” she admitted, her voice quiet but steady. “I don’t even know if it’s a real thing.”

Robert smiled, his thumb tracing the curve of her jaw for just a moment before he pulled away. “Then we’ll learn together.”

Lauren exhaled. The night air was crisp, carrying the sounds of other newly matched couples, the rustling of skirts, the murmurs of hopeful futures. Somewhere behind her, a woman laughed—a bright, bubbly sound full of excitement. Lauren envied her, but she did not resent her.

She turned her gaze back to Robert, studying him as if seeing him for the first time. He wasn’t the villain she had expected. He wasn’t the savior, either. He was just a boy who had been told he was a man, just as she had been told she was a woman. And maybe that was enough.

Maybe, for now, it had to be.

“Shall we?” Robert asked, offering his arm once more.

Lauren hesitated. If she had it her way she would rewind time and go back to when she’d first come to The Academy. Unfortunately she was stuck in this moment. She wanted to run away from Robert and what marriage meant. That wasn’t an option however. Slowly, she linked her arm through his.

And together, they walked back to the chapel and into the unknown.