Unbelievable

God is not real. He doesn’t exist. He’s totally made up to try to guilt all of us into being good people so we can avoid an eternal afterlife in hell.

At least this is what Terra was raised to believe. From the time she was a very little girl, this concept was hammered into her head. Her parents were staunch atheists, refusing to celebrate any holiday with even a skosh of religion. That meant no Easter and no Christmas, most notably. So Terra never had the chance to feel the wonder of waking up on Christmas morning to a festively lit tree sparkling in the early morning light with mounds of wrapped gifts waiting for her to unwrap. She never had the chance to rise on Easter Sunday to a pastel colored basket full of marshmallow chicks and jelly beans surrounding a chocolate bunny. Terra’s parents were so entrenched in their atheism that they also never bothered to tell her that so many of the children she saw at school did get visits from this guy called Santa Claus and this animal called the Easter Bunny, so when they talked about them, Terra would say, “They’re not real.” After all, that’s what her parents told her the first time she came home and asked about this Santa guy and repeating themselves when she asked about this magical bunny. As one could imagine, this made Terra pretty unpopular with kids and their parents alike. She didn’t get invited to very many birthday parties or sleepovers. She didn’t have many kids to play with on the playground or sit with at lunch. She didn’t have anyone choosing her for a dodge ball team in gym class, but she was often one of the first ones out when kids would target her on the first throw. 

As Terra got older, her parents explained to her that these holidays were created because of something called religion and it required something called faith in this omniscient and omnipotent being called God. They noted that you couldn’t see or hear God, nor could you talk to him and know that what you said had been heard. You could ask him for help or favors but you almost never got what you asked for. That’s what this faith was all about – believing in something and someone you can’t see, touch, or hear. It was silly. It was for people who were desperate, Terra’s parents told her. Desperate and weak. They explained that people wanted to believe so badly that someone was pulling the strings here on this planet, someone smarter and more powerful than any human, so they would be able to say, “God made that happen,” when good things occurred, like someone was cured from cancer or someone had a near miss and survived some horrible car accident. It certainly couldn’t be good science and medicine and excellent doctors that cured someone of cancer. It couldn’t have been dumb luck or excellent reflexes that kept the person from being hurt in an accident. Nope. It all had to be God. So silly. They would ask Terra if she saw how thinking it was God making all that happen was nonsensical and showed a lack of intelligence. Of course she saw it. It was logical. It was so obvious that she also started to look down upon these people of faith.

In addition, Terra’s parents explained, what about the bad things that happen in the world? All these people who believe in God, why can’t they explain how God lets those bad things happen? If God is so powerful, how come he lets kids die from cancer or allows natural disasters to happen? Why do murders and rapes happen? Why is there famine and war? Terra was gobsmacked by this revelation. They were right! How could all these horrible things keep happening if there really was a God? Why didn’t he step in and help or stop them from happening? It made no sense!

And then Terra’s parents told her that it was funny in a sad, pathetic way that all these people who believed in God had different religions. They all said this guy exists but they can’t agree on what he tells them to do so they all made their own system of beliefs about what they think God wants them to do, and if they do what he says, when they die, they can go to this magical place called heaven, but if they don’t they will end up in this horrible place called hell. This afterlife reward or punishment helped them decide how to behave here on Earth, and because they all thought God had different rules for humankind, they would argue about who was more right or more wrong in their behaviors. Wearing jeans to this place called church was disrespectful to God, some said, but others said God didn’t care what you wore, just that you were there at the church. Some people said you could talk directly to God and only him for help, but others said it was okay to talk to other people who hung out with God, like his mother or his friends called angels or saints. They even got into arguments about things like getting married! If two men got married, some said that was not okay with God and those guys would go to hell for it. Others said it was just fine because God loves everyone no matter what. Then people would say that the ones who said it was okay for two guys to get married would go to hell, too, for saying it was okay, but the ones who said it was fine told the other people THEY would go to hell for being so unkind and unloving to other people. Round and round people went about this and so many other things. And don’t get them started, they told Terra, about the fights the God believers had with people who believed in a whole other kind of god! The cherry on top, though, was what they all said about people like Terra and her parents, the ones who didn’t buy into what they had to say about God. The non-believers were the worst, and they were for sure going to go to hell. Her parents would laugh at that. They would ask Terra if she believed places called heaven and hell existed, and Terra said of course she didn’t. She can’t see them or go to them, and no one has ever said they went to either of those places – at least not anyone who made any sense at all – so it was obvious they weren’t real.

A childhood of having her head crammed full of logic and debunking made Terra become the same kind of adult as her parents. She was bitter and angry at all the people who thought she was the fool because she used logic and common sense, unlike them, who relied on faith in people, places, and things unseen, unheard, and unfelt. She mostly kept to herself because of it. She never had many friends as an adult, just like when she was a kid. She tried to date some guys, but she always got frustrated by the fact that they all seemed to buy into this belief in God. So she gave up on that. And Terra was good with it because, to her, meeting a guy, falling in love, and getting married would likely lead to having a kid, and then she would have to teach her kid all the same things her parents taught her, and it would just cause another kid to have a crappy childhood. Terra didn’t want that. She had made peace with being lonely and bullied because she knew she was right – her parents weren’t liars. But it wasn’t an easy childhood, so if she could spare one kid from having to endure what she did, that was fine with her.

Now, there actually were times Terra had doubts. She would have moments where she felt really lonely, mostly around those religious holidays, where everyone seemed to have someplace to go and the world around her was just bustling with activity and joy. She thought it might have been fun to have her house decorated with twinkling lights and tinsel and get a pile of gifts on a winter morning. She mused about how much she would like to bite the ears off a big chocolate bunny and have a pretty new dress to wear out to a restaurant for brunch. It seemed so nice to have these holidays to celebrate. And there were so many people who celebrated them! Sometimes Terra wondered if her parents had gotten all their information right. Sometimes she wondered if they once believed in God and then decided not to. But she would always come back to the fact that she knew her parents loved her, and there was just no way they would lie to her or mislead her. Everything they explained to her just made so much sense, it was so logical. They couldn’t be wrong could they? Of course not. And Terra would shove those doubts away.

And so it went, Terra lived her life using logic and common sense, content in knowing she was a decent human being because it was the right way to live and not because she wanted the fake promise of living in heaven or the false threat of going to hell. She felt great comfort in knowing that when her life ended, that was it. There was no worrying about what would happen next or who she might see again or never see again. Everyone was just gone.

And one night, after almost 90 years existing on this planet, Terra was gone, too. She closed her eyes and went to sleep and died the peaceful death everyone wishes for. She just never woke up. At least not in her bed.

But she did wake up to a light so bright it almost blinded her. Terra was confused. She couldn’t figure out where she was, and oddly enough, she didn’t feel all the aches and pains she felt every morning in her back, her hips, her shoulders, and her hands. Instead, she felt strong and strangely energetic. Her eyes adjusted to the light and she saw someone walking toward her. He looked like a handsome young man, with warm colored skin and dark hair. Terra smiled when she saw him, which confused her. She didn’t know this man, so why did she smile at him? She realized she felt happy to see him. But why would she be happy to see a strange man? Shouldn’t that bring about an immediate panic? When he reached Terra, he sat down next to her and turned to look at her. She turned to look at him, too, with questions swirling around in her head. Who was he? What did he want? Where was she, anyway? What happened? How did she get here? The man spoke. “Hello, Terra.” He knew her name?!?! “My name is Jesus. I’ve been waiting for you. We have a lot to talk about.”

Terra at first felt a moment of panic, but then felt great warmth in her heart and a sense of peace settled over her. She looked at Jesus, smiled, and said, “Yes, we do.”

“Are you surprised to see me?” Jesus asked.

“You know I am!” Terra exclaimed. She furrowed her brow. “I feel kind of foolish, like I’ve been rude.”

Jesus laughed and put His hand on her arm. “That’s because you spent an entire lifetime denying my existence, Terra.”

She was taken aback at His directness. She opened her mouth to offer up some retort, then closed it again, not knowing what to say. He was right. Terra realized that she had no doubt at all that this man was indeed Jesus, he was God. She was shocked that she didn’t question it at all. How come she just accepted it? And how come she also knew she must be dead and was okay with it?

“I know your heart and your mind, Terra,” Jesus said to her kindly. I know you’re confused about how you never thought I was real but yet you know now I am real and you don’t even question it. It’s not easy to explain, but I’m God and I love everyone. I always have. Even you. Even your parents. And being with me makes you happy because of that love. It’s just how it works.”

Terra pondered this. She did feel all warm and content, like she actually was in a place filled with love. “How do you know me? How do you love me? How do you love people who don’t think you’re real?”

Jesus laughed again. “Well, when you’re me, it’s easy! See, your parents always told you God never made any sense, and they’re right. It doesn’t. That’s because you can only know what you have there on earth. You can’t know what’s beyond that. And I’m beyond that, so I don’t have to follow the rules of the earth. So I’ve been able to know you from before you were even born all the way up until today. I knew today would be the day we met. And I also understand how hard it can be to believe I’m real, so I’m patient. I know that once you meet me, you’ll believe.”

Terra was incredulous. Her parents were wrong all along. She was wrong all along. God was real, is real. And He loves her, and somehow she loves Him. 

Unbelievable. But in the best way possible.