AWAKENING AT DAWN

AWAKENING    AT DAWN

It was not yet daylight when Martha awoke from a night of agitated, confused dreams . She was exhausted.  In her dreams of that night, which had just gone, she had always been fighting against overwhelming adversaries ( opponents), who towered over her, who she knew she could never defeat, as she knew she should fight as long as she could, even thought she would have to succumb in the end. Even though she knew she was going to be defeated, she would have to keep fighting without thinking, to keep fighting as if she could be  the one who would get the better of it.                                                                                                                                                                         Just a glance from ( out) the window up at the pale gray expanse , barely veiled in pink, of the sky. It was the dawn of a new day, but she had the feeling that for her this would be the dawn of a new life.

But…how strange…what happened? Yet she was sure she had gone to bed in her pajamas….Why then she was now bundled in that large and long nightgown , but indeed a kind of great sack of rough cloth?  Oh, and she also was wearing a bonnet….a bonnet of the same rough cloth   as that kind of big sack into which she was, a bonnet that she couldn’t see , since, for another inexplicable strangeness, the mirror that had been on the closet had gone ( had disappeared). But Martha could felt the bonnet   which was clutching her head and, touching  it, she felt it was of rough cloth as that kind of big sack into which she was. But the surprises weren’t over, as she realized when she opened the wardrobe.  Where were her jeans, her shirts, her jackets, and her tracksuits? Martha was a young girl in 2000, who liked to dress casual and sporty….Oh, but now into the wardrobe there were instead long and wide skirts, corsets, and embroidered shirts, wide shawls, and bonnets, and an infinity of other fabrics  that maybe were garments, but she did not know what garments they were. She, Martha, incredulous, stunned, was about to shout something to  her mother, who had to have gone mad, for playing such a joke on her, when THAT WOMAN entered the room.   That middle-aged woman was a perfect stranger to Martha, who was sure she had never seen her. She, that  unknown woman, held ( was holding) a coffin basin, full of water,  in her hands, and a rectangular piece of  cloth hung from her arm. The woman advanced at a slow pace in the room, looking at the basin she had in ( between) her hands. She wore a chunky cloth dress, tight at the waist, with a fairly full skirt that reached down  to her feet ( long enough to get her feet) , and the bodice hugging her torso. The wide, square  neckline of the bodice left uncovered  a white, crinkled shirt which ended in a lace-trimmed collar at the base of her neck. Even that unknown woman wore ( was wearing) a bonnet on her head, tied with a string under her chin. Her bonnet was of the same color of her dress, of a brick red, almost brown.

As soon as Martha saw  ( had seen) that unknown woman come in the room, she would have liked to shout  at her: “ Oh, who are you? What are you doing here?” But she didn’t be able to do it ( to shout), annihilated as she was. And then  there was that , even though Martha did know that woman, even though she was sure she had never seen her, there was nevertheless SOMETHING in that perfect stranger, that she, Martha, felt as familiar and even known . It was the way that woman held the fingers of her hands, which supported the basin, she kept them bent, curled, stuck to each other, as if she wanted to cling to the edges of the basin, to remind Martha someone she knew. And also how that unknown woman advanced ( was advancing) in the room, in slow and long steps, rubbing her feet on the floor, while ( as), bent at the waist, she stood just tilted ( stretched) forward, this too, as she moved, reminded Martha of someone.

Before Martha could open her mouth ( could say one word) , it was that woman who spoke. She did it as she placed  the basin full of water on the chest , and next to it she put that rectangular cloth , which perhaps was a towel. She pulled also a bar of soap out of a pocket of her skirt, and put it next the basin. The woman spoke in a low but clear voice, lengthening the words she said .  And she spoke  to her, to Martha, not addressing her directly, but as if she was speaking of….the maiden Martha . “ Certainly ( for sure)  the maiden Martha will remember what day is today….I really don’t think there is any need for me to remind her “ The woman said,  keeping her hands on her waist, holding one hand with the other.

“ What do you mean? What day is today?” Martha asked, very stunned.  But soon after she remembered the feeling she had had just woken up, that today would be the day that ( when ) a new life would begin for her. So she said on impulse, no longer wondering about (of )that woman was, no longer asking herself what was going on : “ Oh, you know, a little ago I woke up feeling that this was going to be ( would be) a very special day for me….ah, but I can’t remember WHY…” Before the woman had time to speak, a tall, thin man, with white hair and bear, entered the room. The man, a complete stranger to ( for) Martha , he too, kept a big wolf  dog on a leash.  He was wearing a long, tight tailcoat over his black trousers, while his tailcoat was dark gray.

“ Then Martha, I see that you’re not yet ready. What are you waiting for? You won’t want be late even today. Anyway I will not allow you to be late” The man said in a stern tone, in a harsh voice, taking the monocle off his right eye, and frowning . “ But…I…really….I don’t know…I cannot understand what you’re talking about…Ooh…in short, but what is happening? Here, I woke up and…here, I found everything changed….I don’t understand…I  still haven’t seen my mother. Yes, where is my mother, eh?” That ( This) was what Martha was able to say, with difficulty, stammering. And in the meantime she kept wondering : “ Am I still sleeping? Isn’t all this still a dream?”

“ Ah! What I have to hear! “  The man in the tailcoat shouted, as the wolf dog started barking furiously, and it yanked  at the leash, and lifted its front legs, as if it was about to pounce on Martha.  “ Oh, I’m very much disappointed in you!” The man continued  to shout, addressing the middle-aged woman,  who was standing silently, shrunken, her head down, trembling with fear.

“ I cannot but be very angry with you! “ The man kept shouting, as the wolf dog kept barking furiously. “ Ah, I see, that I was wrong about you, Gertrude! Yes, I thought you would obey  my orders !   My daughter would never have even asked of her mother!  Indeed a mother would never have existed for her! My daughter would have been motherless!” He, the man in tailcoat shouted, and, after having hit Gertrude with a stick, that had suddenly appeared in his hands, he went away, with the big dog which kept barking furiously.   “ Oh, and that one….would that one  be my father, Gertrude?” Martha asked, bewildered. “ Why doesn’t he want to hear me ask about my mother?” she asked Gertrude, and now Martha was addressing her as if she had always known that woman. “ Oh, because your mother was a very bad woman . She was a witch!”  Gertrude said, looking at her with a hateful gaze.  “ What are you saying? My mother is not a witch at all!” Martha said, since , even if bewildered, upset, she continued to feel and think like a girl of 2000s. “ She was a witch, instead! And she ended up at the stake” Gertrude shouted at her, as in her eyes was flashing  again  that hateful light.  From here on there was no need for Martha to ask what was going on.  Suddenly she knew it herself . Suddenly she was no longer a girl of 2000s, but a maiden of the sixteenth century.  She was the daughter of a woman who had been believed to be a witch and had been burned at the stake.  Her father didn’t even  want  her, Martha , to say those two words: “ MY MOTHER” Now Martha suddenly remembered.  Yes, her father , a fervent Christian, had been among those who had fought most for her mother to end up at the stake.