"A Blind Eye"

 “I just don’t understand all of these protests and marches,” Kathleen told her friend Suzanne as they talked on the phone one Saturday morning. “I know a black guy was killed by white men, but how do people know that it was a race issue? I mean it could have just been a case of police brutality.”

“Kathleen, it’s not just about this one instant,” Suzanne said calmly down the phone. “It’s about all the other incidents just within the past couple months. We won’t even go into the fact that this has gone on for decades, or centuries for that matter. This is just the straw that broke the camel’s back. You just haven’t faced any of this type of stuff first hand.” 

“I guess.” Kathleen says, still not fully persuaded by Suzanne’s explanation. “You and I are friends and you’re black. I’ve never seen anyone treat you badly.”

“Well, maybe you haven’t seen it, but it happens,” she responded.

“Listen Suzanne, I’ve got to go. I'm making breakfast for Tyler. He's coming over in a bit. I’ll talk to you when I come over later okay?”

“I don't know what you see in that…”

Kathleen hung up the phone and began to whisk the pancake batter together.

“Okay… eggs... done, bacon… done, orange juice… fresh squeezed. Okay then, just the pancakes and the coffee.”

Kathleen had always loved cooking. Her grandma had taught her at an early age to cook for herself, since her mom worked late shifts at the hospital. It’s actually how she had become friends with Suzanne in the first place. They met on the first day of seventh grade. Kathleen remembered how nervous she was that day. Most of her old friends had moved or gone to the middle school across town. She was looking for someone to sit with at lunch when Suzanne motioned her over. Kathleen sat down with her homemade vegetable frittata. Suzanne was so interested in it that Kathleen ended up giving her half. Suzanne told her that she could only sit with her if she brought her a home cooked meal everyday. And that’s how it began. Although, their friendship had become much more than cooking since then of course.

Just as she finished setting the food on the table for their breakfast, Tyler walked into the kitchen.

“Smells awesome,” he said, smiling at her.

“Thanks,” she giggled. “I fixed all of your faves. Just have to make the coffee.”

Tyler walked over and gave her a kiss before sitting down to wait at the table.

“And take off the hat at the table!” Kathleen told him playfully. Tyler always wore his stupid orange and yellow multi-colored hat. Kathleen hated that hat. It made Tyler look like a small child from a 90’s Nickelodeon sitcom. But she couldn’t ask him to take it off anywhere, except at the table. It had been a gift for his birthday when he was 12. His dad had given it to him. He ended up passing away in a car crash the next day. Tyler pretty much hadn’t taken it off since. At least he hadn’t in the year and a half that she had been dating him.

Kathleen looked up from the coffee she was making to see Tyler watching the news about the protests on the television in the living room.  

“I’m assuming she’s probably protesting also?” Tyler asked.

Kathleen looked over at the TV to see who Tyler was talking about. “Who is?”

“Suzanne,” Tyler replied, as if her name is acid on his tongue.

“Well,” Kathleen hesitated, not really wanting to start their morning conversation this way. “I just talked with her this morning…”

Tyler’s frown deepens.

“And we talked about some of the stuff happening right now and I know she feels like there’s an issue going on.”

Tyler scoffs.

 “I mean, I know there are racist people out there, but there are also plenty of good people too.” Kathleen continues. “I’ve tried telling Suzanne that I believe that all lives matter. I just don’t see it or understand why it’s such a large issue at the moment, but she’s my friend so I support her.”

“I don’t know if I really like you being friends with her,” Tyler declared after Kathleen finished. “Don’t let her get you in trouble or put ideas in your head. People die everyday. White people have died the same way this guy did and there were no marches for them. No justice at all. Could you imagine what those people would say if we marched the streets screaming white lives matter! Only they’re allowed to do it.”

“Look Tyler,” Kathleen warned him, for what isn’t the first time. “It’s when you say things like that, that I start to think maybe Suzanne is right. You sound racist.” 

Kathleen had never thought of Tyler as being racist. He just always had strong opinionated views on everything. And yes, sometimes his views were pretty controversial, but he knew what he stood for and that was a pretty admirable trait in Kathleen’s eyes. That’s part of why she had been so short with Suzanne on the phone earlier. She didn’t want to hear about Suzanne's disapproval of Tyler and his closed minded opinions yet again. 

Suzanne had never really liked Tyler. This was mainly due to the fact that Tyler and Suzanne disagreed on everything. In fact, their last dispute on an issue had become so tense that Kathleen was afraid it would turn violent and hadn’t had them over together again since.

 “Well, I'm sick of Suzanne and her racist views against me. ‘The white man’s expressing his opinions on the subject so he’s racist,’” Tyler said in a mocking voice. “If they have the right to say what they think, then so do I. I think they’re just trying to get attention right now. That’s the problem with all this social media nowadays…”

Tyler starts in on his well rehearsed rant about the evils of all the social media platforms and people needing their 15 minutes of fame.

Kathleen shook her head at him. “I think if you two got to know each other better you could set some of these differences aside.” 

“Don’t you think those people are just being a little dramatic?!” Tyler was increasingly getting louder with each thought. “We don’t even know the full story of what happened. The news just tells us one side of the story, and what we should do, and what we should believe! They’re gonna get what’s coming to them! Mark my words!” 

Kathleen saw a rage in Tyler’s eyes that she had never seen before. A strange feeling started in the pit of her stomach, but she brushed it off as hunger from waiting all morning for breakfast. 

“Come on Tyler,” Kathleen pleaded with him. “Can we just eat and maybe talk about something… I don’t know, a little lighter?”

“I’m not actually hungry anymore,” he snapped.

Kathleen was shocked at his reaction. She had never seen him like this before.

“What?! We had this all planned. You said you wanted to come over for breakfast so you didn’t have to spend the day at the Farmer’s Market with Suzanne and me….”

“Stop saying her name!” he yelled. “I’m sick and tired of hearing about Suzanne!”

Kathleen recoiled, taken aback by his harsh tone. “But Tyler, she’s my friend,” And I spent all morning on this. Please…”

“Look Kathleen!” he snarled, rounding on her. “There’s just a lot going on right now. I just realized there’s something I forgot I had to do this morning.”

Tyler threw his hat back on his head and stormed out of the kitchen, slamming the front door behind him as he left. Kathleen sighed and walked over to the phone to call Suzanne.

“I guess we can head over to the Farmer’s Market early,” she said, when Suzanne picked up the phone.

“Short breakfast with the racist then?” she shoots back. 

“Sorry. I know I was short with you earlier…”

“You hung up on me Kathleen. "

“Suzanne please. I know you and Tyler don’t see eye to eye on issues, but I don’t think he’s racist. He just has… differing views than you do, but he can be really sweet... at times. If you two would just spend more time together…”

“Kat... we have... and each time he has started talking about “my people” and all the trouble they are causing in the community. His most recent accusation was how we are just trying to get attention with “our peoples’” Black Lives Matter protest and how we are all just criminals who have used this platform to riot and loot and try to... what was it he said? Oh yeah, ‘take over’ the white person’s country?”

“Suzanne, that’s not how he meant it,” Kathleen’s voice was taut. “He has this whole spiel on the evils of social media and…”

“Then how did he mean it?” she cut her off yet again. “Because I took his spiel to mean that he doesn’t like ‘my people’.”

“Don’t you think you're being a little dramatic Suzanne?” Kathleen hears Tyler’s words come out of her mouth before she can stop them. “I mean, we don’t even know if that’s the reason it happened?”

“Do you even hear yourself when you talk?!” Kathleen heard Suzanne’s sister Tamika yell in the background. “This kind of stuff happens everyday where we live. It’s life.”

“She’s right Kathleen.” Suzanne agreed, her voice louder and closer sounding after taking the phone off speaker. We’ve been friends forever, but you just don’t understand the issues at hand. You never have. It just hasn’t yet affected you personally.”

The two friends sat in silence. Neither knew what to say. 

“So… are you still coming with me to the Farmer’s Market,” Kathleen asked, in a soft voice.

She could almost hear Suzanne rolling her eyes at her on the other side of the phone.

“Of course I’ll still go,” Suzanne sighed. “But after, we are getting coffee and discussing this… and Tyler, at length.”

“Sounds good,” Kathleen said as she hung up the phone. “I’ll come to your house first. Then we can catch the bus to the Market. I’ll see you soon."

**********************

It took Kathleen a while to pack up all of the uneaten food and put it away in the fridge. Afterwards, she changed her clothes and pulled up her hair. As she grabbed her purse and stepped out into the bright morning sun, she couldn’t help breathing a sigh of relief to be out of the house. It was a half hour walk to Suzanne’s house. Normally she would have taken the quick bus ride downtown, but that day Kathleen figured she could use the time to clear her mind. It was a beautiful day anyway. Fairly cool for the first week in June. There was a nice breeze and the streets were reasonably empty. Giving her time to just think and breathe. Tons of thoughts raced through her mind as she walked. 

Maybe Suzanne was right, she thought. If her best friend and Tyler couldn’t get along, then she didn’t see how they could stay together. Maybe Tyler could change, but would he? Surely he would for her. Surely he sees how important her friendship is with Suzanne. Kathleen just couldn’t bear the thought of losing her best friend.

She decided to brush all the bad thoughts away for a while. She’d figure out what to do over coffee with Suzanne later, then call Tyler and try to talk. Besides, she wanted to be in a good mood when her and Suzanne headed to the Farmer’s Market. It was the annual vintage booth day, their favorite.

Just as Kathleen was about to round the corner to Suzanne’s house, Kathleen heard gunshots. They were close. She plastered herself against the brick wall of the corner store. After a moment’s pause she peered around the corner to see two guys running off into the distance and a large crowd gathering in the street outside of Suzanne’s house. 

Kathleen’s heart started pounding in her chest as she ran towards the crowd of people. She had known before she even got there what it was she would see. Suzanne lay motionless on the ground. Panicked people were trying to control the blood quickly spilling from her body. There was a man on his phone yelling Suzanne’s address at a dispatcher. Pleading for an ambulance to be on the way. Tamika’s sister ran out of the house carrying more towels to control the blood flow.

Everything started to sway before her. Kathleen couldn’t believe what her eyes were seeing. She fell down to the ground beside Suzanne. Tears started to pour down her cheeks.  

“There’s no pulse!” someone shouted just as Tamika knelt down and scooped her sister into her arms.

Tamika’s face was stained with tears. She looked up at Kathleen with both sadness and anger filling her eyes. 

“Do you see it now Kathleen?!” Tamika cried as she held her sister’s lifeless body. “Do you see it now?!”

And that’s when Kathleen saw something that made her heart stop. 

**********************

It felt like the rest of the events took place in slow motion around her. She stood in a daze not wanting to believe what was happening. Her face and shirt were completely soaked in heavy warm tears. Police officers arrived to question witnesses. Then the ambulance came. They swiftly moved Suzanne onto a stretcher and got her into the ambulance. One of the EMTs yelled at another to start CPR while he started grabbing supplies and an IV. Tamika climbed in to ride beside Suzanne. They slammed the doors closed. Then she was gone. 

Slowly the crowd started to disperse. Kathleen waited until the streets had cleared and everyone had shut themselves back into their houses. Then she walked over to the bushes that ran along the fence of Suzanne’s house. A bright orange and yellow multi-colored hat lay on the ground beside them. Kathleen picked up the hat and held it loosely in her hand. 

“Do you see it now Kathleen?!” Tamika's voice echoed in her ears again. “Do you see it now?!”

And she did. She understood now what she had turned a blind eye to for years. Suzanne was right. It just hadn’t yet affected her personally.