The Cure

Nothing mattered anymore, and nothing was important anymore.

There was no point in going to medical school, so I quit.

In most cases, my parents are a good support system, but they do not understand how I feel.

I felt my fingers getting numb, my face getting clenched, and I was on the verge of crying.

Rather than continue with this, it would be better if I just ended it all. I am ugly, I don't deserve to be here, and it would be better if I just ended it. My thoughts were coming to life and whispered to me the word die.

I heard Mila, my older sister, knocking at the door of my bedroom, next to mine.

The bad things I was whispering to myself were heard by Mila.

It was Mila's goal to help me, not just to help me, but to ensure that I got the right help.

If Mila gets me help, I don't mind, but I just don't want our parents to know, or I will be kicked out of the house. 

While I was frozen, Mila reached out to my hand so we could talk downstairs in the kitchen. 

Taking a seat to talk about my life, Mila warmed up my favourite soup, Chili, as we chatted. It tastes yummy as usual. 

The brain has always fascinated Mila, and she has always wanted to be a doctor. She pretended to see inside my brain and told me it was depression I may be facing.

The way Mila made me feel was comforting, she didn't get our parents involved, and it had a name that described how I was feeling all this time. 

Later that night, Mila and my parents went to a soccer tournament, and there I was lonely in my dark room. That was when I decided it would be the right time to get checked out to see if I struggle with depression. 

I met all the criteria, then I booked an appointment with a trustworthy doctor. The doctor’s name was Dr. Kristina and she looked professionally qualified.

A day later, I met Dr. Kristina in her office, she was beautiful and I felt attracted to her. Dr. Kristina was that cool doctor who had long blonde hair, pretty small blue eyes and she was wearing long black high heels. 

Dr. Kristina was pretty knowledgeable and had great experience. She was able to recognize my issues and help me more than anyone else.

It was the first time in forever I felt great, I was really human again. I liked how I was able to talk about my struggles with a trusted adult in my life who can support me and refer me to get the right support.

I went home, and even though I felt the urge to end my life, I was able to trust my parents and as a whole, we continued to create a better support system and safe place for me.

Through my experience with mental illness, I learned that it's okay not to be okay and that each and every one of us is different. It's okay to be different! We all hold a purpose and meaning in us that tells a beautiful story.

Recovery takes time and it's important to seek help as soon as possible. Even though, every mental health condition has different symptoms they can impact anyone and every aspect of life.

After seeing that professional and having a great relationship with my older sister, I felt more heard and seen. I was able to love myself for who I was again.

Days went by fast, and I wanted to fall in love with medical school again. My future restarted and I began to take it more seriously.

I was a new me.

I chopped all my hair off to donate to cancer research, got myself new makeup and got my nails professionally done. I ordered my medical textbooks for school, and they came in no time!

Every now and then, I still would get bullied by my classmates in medical school for holding a spot for me. I would get beaten up badly and hurt to the point where my bones would stick out of my body. That never stopped me from continuing to learn and be me.

I still suffer a lot but I am able to put my needs and dreams ahead. I know that I can be the best doctor if I put my mind to it.

Years later, I successfully graduated and yelled out to the audience that there is hope and that anyone can do anything.

It felt good to finally hold the diploma in my hand. When I got home, I was able to frame it with pride.

Weeks later I got calls from all around the world.

Everyone wanted to interview me! I was really famous and got all over the world's news.

I sat on the comfy green couch, Melissa called it.

"This award is presented to JESSICA SMITH, the world's bestselling author".

When Melissa left, Joan came along to give me another award I was really known and famous for.

"The second award is presented once again to JESSICA SMITH, congratulations for making it to medical school, and graduating!"

I blushed and thanked Joan and Melissa both.

My mom, dad and sister were in the audience supporting me. Mila's smile never got so warm and big. I could tell she was happy for me. This moment was always Mila's dream. For an older sister, Mila felt accomplished and worthy. Mila always was a little perfect angel, inspiring me and she was always the only one guiding me through hard obstacles and helping me with homework when mom was cooking and dad was at work.

I began to wrap up the discussion while the audience was cheering loudly. That was when I accidentally tripped on Mila.

Mila went up to speak. "Jessica, I love you."

At this time, I was at the corner and my heart was melting and I was never feeling so sweaty.

Mila said silently, "I always wanted a younger sister."