Loving one for who they be

I remember it like it was yesterday it was on a Sunday the weather wasn’t very good. I was inside the a diner in Ohio it was pouring down outside. I was sitting at the bar by myself drinking a vanilla milkshake chatting with my friend Casey who was one of the waitresses there. “You looove those milkshakes, don’t you?” “Um…yeah this I believe I told you already this place makes the best milkshakes.” Then suddenly, the door opened causing the bell attached to ring. Me and Casey both turned to look at who was coming in. It was a man…a hot one at that about five seven (my height), black with light brown eyes, and a good physic to go with it all. We usually look at whoever comes in and make up stories about them it’s something we’ve done since we were kids. We’d go to the mall sit at a bench in the middle of the central lobby and make jokes about people. “Oh…my…God! Tiara look at that total hottie.” “Shhh! He’ll hear you.” I whispered to her as the man sat down five seats from me at the bar.

“Ay yo can I get the usual?” “Coming right up!” Casey said in a sensual voice. That girl was always so quick to hit on a guy she thought looked good no matter what. I kind of wish I was like her but, I’ve always been afraid of what happens when the guy misreads or doesn’t respond I mean no one likes rejection right? I see the man in question taking a peek at Casey’s butt “A butt guy huh?” I thought to myself. I…don’t really like it when guys do that in my opinion it just creeps me out makes me feel like they’re just undressing me with their eyes UGH. When Casey comes back, she hands the man a big burger with a side of curry fries and a large coke to go with. As he’s eating, he starts to look around and in a few moments our eyes lock. He waves and says, “Whats up?” Me being nervous says “Oh, uh nothing just sipping.” Both him and Casey start to giggle which makes me even more nervous.

The man then starts to focus on eating his food leaving me Casey time to talk. “Oh my god girl you should go talk to him.” ‘I don’t know.” “Girl go do it be brave not a nave.” “What?” “Just go talk to him.” “Now?” “Uh yea now.” “What? I wont even know what to say Casey.” “Come on just go talk hell if you can’t think of anything just let him talk and listen to him.” “Ugh fine.” I’ve always hated when she pressured me into doing something I clearly had no intention of doing. Though now I would thank her for that push as it was with this initial meeting that started it all.

I went over to talk to him, my stomach full of butterfly’s. “H-Hey my name is Tiara crazy weather were having huh?” God! Of course I mention the weather the obvious thing since like…ever. “Uh…yea been pouring down ever since I got off work. I hate the rain yo you gotta either buy an umbrella which thanks to inflation thing costs like twenty bucks or waterproof stuff.” “Ugh! I know right?” “So, you eat here often?” He asks still chewing his food. “Well for the most part yeah I love this places milkshakes you should try them there sooo good. Like they have the perfect amount of smoothness and thickness if that makes sense.” “Oh, okay they go down very good is what your saying then?” “OH! U-Uh…yea. I guess that was a long roundabout way of saying that huh?” “Nah you good hahaha I guess this wouldn’t be the first time I heard a girl talk about liking something smooth and thick going down her throat.” “What! Shut up hahahah!” “Psych nah just messing with ya.”

For the most part what I gathered from our conversation so far was that he was…just a chill guy. It made me want to talk to him even more since I’m kind of a no drama kind of girl. So we chatted on an on about our favorite tv shows and how I wanted to show him the entire first season of breaking bad. Of course, I didn’t want this man in my house without spending time with outside first. Never know these days a lot of creeps out here so I asked him out on a date, and he said yes. Our first ever date was down at the harbor in downtown Baltimore around this upcoming Saturday. I get paid so it was the perfect time for me. He said he probably wouldn’t have any money to spend but, I told him I’d cover this date if he covers the next one. God I spent the entire week in anticipation for this date I don’t even know where to begin. I brought new clothes mainly this black and white dress with gold tracing on the ends, some black two-inch-high heels, and finally black lipstick and white fingernail polish. I wanted to go all out for this one I mean they say that first impressions are everything.

After doing all of that and enduring a strenuous work week at the office doing taxes for people who were to lazy to do it themselves the day was finally here. I remember waking up extra early to get my hair ready and my outfit ready to go. Finally I decided to top it all off with a black sunhat that I brought at Macy’s a year ago. I hopped into my car and drove into the harbor to meet him at the red lobster at the end of the pier. And there he was wearing some denim jeans, a denim jacket with a beige long sleeve shirt underneath paired with a gold necklace, timberlands and a beige beanie. Guess he decided to dress up a little too! When I walked up, I noticed he was talking to another man the man in question was just wearing a wife beater with sneakers and plain jeans. He handed the man something and the was given something back I couldn’t quite make it out.

Once they were done the man left and walked my way and as he passed by I noticed the smell on him it smelled like weed. I HATED the smell of weed with a passion. I had a terrible thought at that moment “Was the man I was seeing a…drug dealer?” I shook my head as if trying to shake the doubt out of it and managed to greet him with a smile. “Yo can’t believe I didn’t notice this before but I never told you my name did I? It’s Jermaine.” “Oh, well hey Jermaine ready for a fun munch and lunch with yours truly?” “Damn straight!” With that we both went inside and sat down I ordered the cheddar cheese shrimp biscuits for the appetizer, a lobster with a side of crab mac and cheese for the entrée and a brownie for desert. “You a heavy eater?” “Yup I love food more than anything.” “No wonder you were going on and on about the diners milkshakes. I’m a have ta keep a fat wallet for you when we go out huh?” “Maaaaybe.” “Hehe so what’s the big deal with this Breaking bad show you told me about last time?”

“Well it’s a show about a middle aged white man that finds himself becoming a drug dealer and slowly losing his family in the pursuit of money and power.” ‘Dang! Okay I’m liking the set up so far why he become a drug dealer though?” “Well, it all started with him getting diagnosed with terminal cancer and not being able to pay for it then he sort of goes down this downward spiral.” “Okay, okay what he sells in the show?” “Oh, he sells meth pretty much and ends up going from this nice agreeable person to this despicable manipulator that tries to control everyone around him.” “Hmmm what this be on I gotta see this.” ‘Netflix you can binge it on there.” After my Breaking bad break down we continued to chat about our favorite colors of which mine was blue and his was green. Then our favorite things to do such as hobbies, where do we like to go out to or things like that.

He decided that our next date should be going to a movie theater to check out the latest dragon ball super film…he…was a pretty big anime fan. I agreed and since I was usually good with saving money I proposed we kept the dating train rolling by doing another date next weekend. He agreed though he made me promise to not spend any money since he was going to cover the entire date this time. After the movies which went well we kept going for four months. Eventually it was my birthday and Jermaine wanted to do something special for me, so he took me to a book signing with Clara Rising. She was a phenomenal writer who I fell in love with. So decided to meet up at the Barnes and Nobles at the inner harbor. This time though I arrived first so I decided to walk around there were a lot of people out since the weather was pretty nice. Suddenly out of nowhere I felt something poke me in the back when I turned my head there was a man behind. “Ared look don’t make a huge fuss ared?” Scared out of my mind I simply shook my head yes. ‘Good now we gonna walk around this here corner to tha back of tha stores. Don’t try anything funny now just walk like normal pretend we a couple and you ain’t getting hurt ared?” Again I shook my head and just like that he wrapped his arm around me and we walked around the corner to the back alley. Then he continued to force me to walk into the back of this house. I had never been so afraid in my life. Even now I remember how the knot in my stomach caused fog in my head I couldn’t think of anything to do. Should I run? Scream? By the time we were in the house it was too late he had already closed the door.

I turned to the stranger and he just pointed the gun at me and told me to go into the next room. In the next room I saw none other then Jermaine sitting covered in blood and bruises. “J-Jermaine!?” He looked up at me shocked his mouth flying wide open. “Shit! Tiara!?” He then turned to the stranger who came in behind me. “Look man! This aint got nothing to do with her leave her out of it.” “Huh!? HA! This idiot. Nothing to do with her? Bruh that changed the minute you decided to turn against me and make deals behind my back!” My heart dropped as my mind raced back to our first date. He really was a drug dealer the knot in my stomach moved up to my throat so fast I thought I was going to throw up. “Tiara baby it’s gonna be okay. I wont let these men hurt you ared?” At a loss for words, I simply shook my head. “Okay Kurk (K-erk) I got your money it’s in my back pocket take all of it.”

The stranger nodded and motioned to the other two men standing behind Jermaine to check his pockets to which one of them immediately found a huge stack of cash. Afterwards they untied him and pushed him towards me. I caught him getting blood all over my dress. “Get his ass out of here girl! Oh, and your fired Jermaine imma let you sell on my streets but, I aint protecting you no more.” Jermaine simply shook his head. With that we left got in my car and I drove him to his siters house where I dropped him off the drive was completely silent neither of us wanting to talk about what just happened. Afterwards I didn’t talk to him for about a month. He would call me but, I would either let it ring or just hang up. Looking back I probably was overreacting though at the time I didn’t know what to make of it. I was raised in a high income household so I never really met a drug dealer before. I mean I’d hear tales of how bad they were but, I never interacted with one until Jermaine.

Then suddenly I saw him in front of my place of work I started to speed past him but, he grabbed me. “Tiara girl lets talk about this…please?” “WHY SHOULD I HUH!? YOU DIDN’T THINK IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO TELL ME YOU WERE A DRUG DEALER!?” “Baby shhhh! Calm down girl…look I’m sorry it never came out I just didn’t want you to dislike me cause of that. And I know that aint no excuse but, you gotta understand the four months I’ve been with you have been a blast. You really are one hell of a woman, and I don’t want it to end like this.” I look at him tears still kind of furious but, also flattered “Maybe he’s right” I thought. “Perhaps it wasn’t that bad and maybe being a drug dealer doesn’t make him evil but, just a man trying to live?” After running through it in my head I decided to give him another chance. However, I made him promise to leave drug dealing behind once he was able to get a real job. Which he did as a janitor and even went on to start his own janitorial company.

I had to go to therapy shortly after though as I started to get panic attacks from being in huge crowds Jermaine felt like it was his fault. And of course even though it was I assured him that I would get over it we married two years later. And had your mother shortly after that was when I decided to open my own fashion design studio so we could take of her and your uncles. And that’s how your grandparents met Jerimayah.