Edith

I am sure my computer is listening to me; it understands my thoughts seemingly before I do. Just the other day I was stressing to my boss that I had nothing to wear for our presentation. Without blowing my own trumpet this presentation is ground breaking and I want to make a good impression. All global eyes will be watching and it seems that I am vain. I want to look good, presentable even (perhaps dare I say it) a little bit sexy. I visualise myself on the stage looking radiant, confident and knowledgeable. What I am aiming for is for men to adore and women to admire me.  I was struggling to visualise the whole look but before I knew it my computer had understood and selected the right kind of advertisements to pop up on my feed. The selection was just right, not so many that I would feel overwhelmed but enough to give me a good choice. My computer even knows my size, style and even colours I would choose for such an important event. It makes the whole process easy.

Any scientific person will tell you that it is all based on algorithms, what you have scrolled, looked at or purchased in the past, will determine your advertisement threads. It will gather all the data that is linked to you and organise it, giving you a selection at the end like any personal shopper would. This may be true but it does not explain how it helped with my hotel choice. I have never been out of my home town.

Not once have I looked online for any hotels, come to think of it I have never searched for anything to do with London. I’m not sure I like big cities as I haven’t been to any but that is where my presentation is being held. Now that I am going I want to embrace the visit and capture all its unique sights, sounds and everything it has to offer. I want to be the quintessential tourist but without feeling overwhelmed.

Right on queue there it was, flashing at me between paragraphs, a boutique hotel with gorgeous period features, central in its location and only a few meters away from our location. Even my boss was impressed and equally delighted when I revealed the cost. It’s as if it knows him as well as I do.

My conclusion is that my computer listens to me, really listens. Not only does it listen but it wants to make me happy. It wants to make my life easier in every way and I am really grateful for it. When no-one is looking I tell my computer that I couldn’t do without her and that I love her.

Her? I have thought about this for a long time. I know I am young and making generalisations but my experiences so far in life are that men don’t really listen but women do. Hence my computer is most defiantly a woman. She rewards my conclusion by running smoothly, without glitches all day, every day consciously doing her updates when I am not working. She will be the first thing I pack when I head to London.

Sitting on the train I open my laptop and email my boss the tickets.  I am delighted that I managed to get an upgrade to first class for a fraction of the original cost. Sophie knew I was worried about my presentation, she knew that I needed space to prepare my notes, organise my thoughts and have some headspace. I am sure she was searching for hours for a promotional discount and when she found it, she pinged loudly for me to hear. I have named my computer Sophie which is Greek for wisdom, if you don’t believe me...Google it! Besides I knew she liked the name as she flooded my screen with loads of well known ‘Sophie’s’ and they all looked powerful confident females. I wish I was called Sophie.

I let my mind drift and think about names and ponder what makes a parent choose a name. Is the given name out of love or nostalgia or family loyalty? Do the children feel burdened to live up to a name or does it gives them a sense of magical powers that they truly believe they can live up to. I decided to confide in my boss that I thought my computer was a female and that I had named her Sophie. To my relief my boss agreed with me and said he called his computer Edith, an Old English name from Edythe which means 'rich'.  I asked why her chose that name and he said that his computer makes him rich. Personally I don’t like it, I much prefer Sophie.

Standing in the wings I watch my boss give his introductory speech I notice how confident he is; in fact he has been in a great mood all through our journey to London. In the taxi coming over to the venue I ask him why he is in such a good mood. He tells me that nobody around us knows how powerful we will become, he likes the secret.

My boss is going to revolutionise the world and he has brought the equipment to demonstrate live at the presentation. Even though I am the newest in the office, I was the lucky assistant chosen to deliver the presentation. I asked my friend and colleague Katie why I was selected above everyone else and she said it was because I had the whole package. I hope I don’t mess things up!

My boss is babbling about our uneventful journey to London. I wish he would stop as I am really nervous. Eventually he waves at me to come over and start my presentation. Peeking from behind the curtains I can’t help feel slightly in awe at the size of the audience. I have never seen so many people gathered in one place; the film crew aim their camera’s at me and I slightly blush at the acknowledgment.  

The reaction from the audience is exactly what I was looking for, I silently thank Sophie and I am sure she hears me as she turns on exactly on cue. I walk in confident strides towards the podium; adoration and admiring looks wash over me and dare I say it some jealousy to. I breathe deeply and wipe my slightly damp palms down the side of my dress. I look at my boss and smile.

“Ladies and Gentleman let me introduce …Edith”

I stare at him for a moment and blink back my tears. It all makes sense but the humiliation is very raw. Turning to face the audience I start my presentation.

“My name is Edith and up until a few moments ago I thought I was human”.