Support

It was the second week after I started sixth grade. My stomach was churning, and I did not feel well. I repeatedly told my mom this but, she kept on telling me that it was just anxiety. For the past two weeks, I have gone to school crying and crying. I feel so embarrassed because I am crying in front of my classmates. I think there is something terribly wrong with me. I want to be a normal sixth grader but, right now it is too difficult.  

I have always hated school but, I never knew that my emotions could be this bad. My mom calls me from downstairs and she says it is time to go to school. My brother and I get on to the bus and I always sit by the window. While we are headed to school, I look out the window and try to suck my tears back in.  

When we arrive at school, I would immediately go to the social worker's office begging to go home. She told me repeatedly that I needed to stay in school and that school is important. I listened to her advice and I would go back to class. Everyone in each of my classes asked me what was wrong, and I would tell them multiple times that I am fine. 

  It is now the last class of the day and I am super excited to go home. When I arrive at home I run in and give my mom a big hug. She has been the biggest support in my life ever since this all started. When I tell my mom that I went to the social workers again she tries her best to be understanding. I feel glad that I have a great mom and dad that support me. My family is trying to give me their support even though this is a tough time for them. 

Recently I have been going to a counselor outside of school and today is my day to see her again. I walk into her office knowing that this is good that I get to see her. My counselor’s name is Camilla and she has become a friend to me. This was very unexpected because she is supposed to be my counselor. Knowing that she is more than just a counselor to me I feel like I can tell her anything and everything that I need to. 

On this day, we work on how to use breathing techniques and what to do when I feel like I am going to start crying. We even work on a craft that makes me feel motivated to stay in class. Having Camilla there for me makes me feel glad because she is a great friend to me. 

A few years have passed, and I have stopped seeing Camilla. I was a little upset at first about this but, then I realized that this was a good thing. I do not need to rely on a person to help me anymore. 

I was able to figure out and solve all my problems. Also, I was put on some medicines to help with my anxiety and depression. Now I am in freshman year of high school and I am surprised that I am doing well. My depression has subsided, my anxiety remains there but, it is easier to manage. Freshmen year of high school went good for me but now I have another problem to face, sophomore year of high school. You may ask why it was bad for me and I will tell you. 

In my sophomore year, I felt very depressed again. My mom thought that my medicines needed to be increased and so did I. I feel like I went down the same road as sixth grade because of the same patterns that followed. My mom suggested that we go see a counselor again and I immediately suggested Camilla. However, my mom had some bad news to tell me. This news broke my heart. She told me that Camilla had moved away and that I wouldn’t be able to see her again. 

So, I started seeing a different counselor and another one after that. None of them were a perfect match like Camilla. There was only one counselor I could handle and that was not any of these other counselors. These other counselors did not want to be my friend and they talked too much about themselves. I found this to be very rude and a waste of my time. I needed someone that I could trust and rely on. 

My year did get better after I met a new friend the first couple of days. This friend was a friend that became my lifesaver. She made me excited to come to school and see her. Her name is Lilli and I did not know at the time how close of friends we were going to become. Lilli is kind, sweet, caring, amazing, and awesome. If it wasn’t for her, I would still be in a terrible spot in my life. 

Lilli has made my world 100% better and I hope she knows that. This is a friend I did not know that I would ever have. I never thought I would have a friend so great that I can share secrets with, talk about personal stuff, and sometimes rant about whatever I am angry about. This is a friend that listens, shows compassion, and respect. 

My year was 50% bad and 50% good. The next year after that did not start off so well. I was still crying and feeling upset about nothing, but it felt like everything to me. Lilli made it better though. She is my best friend and I do not know what I would do without her. Depression sucks and so does anxiety but, we all eventually find ways to deal. The way I dealt was by having an amazing support system and knowing that I could get through it. Anyone can do it but, you must remain strong.  

In conclusion, get yourself a friend that supports you and that you feel comfortable talking with. If your friend does not want to handle or help you with your emotions then I got something to tell you, they aren’t really your friend. I know that it is hard to make great friends but, remember that you will finally meet that person. I know you can do it.