Spill The Tea

SPILL THE TEA

Ariel loved the summer. Her mom was home from work—she was a teacher—and they got to spend all their time together. And they went out to cool places—the Children’s Museum, the park, Mom and Toddler program, the library, and her favourite—Charlotte’s house! Like today!

Charlotte was Mommy’s best friend. They’d known each other forever—at least that’s what Mommy said. Ariel knew that forever was a long time, which made her wonder how old Mommy really was. Charlotte and Mommy had gone to school together, and were besties. Ariel hoped that when she went to school, she would have a bestie like Charlotte. When Mommy and Charlotte were together they laughed, had a few “bevvies” and “spilled the tea”. That last part confused Ariel because she knew that Mommy and Charlotte both drank wine, and Ariel had never seen either of them drink any tea.

Charlotte had a new baby. His name was Liam. Mommy and Charlotte fussed over him all the time, saying how cute he was, how alert. Ariel didn’t get the cute comment. She’d looked at him—he was all red and wrinkled. She didn’t think he was cute at all. And it seemed that every time they when to Charlotte’s all Liam would do was cry, cry, cry.

“Last night was a tough one,” said Charlotte. “It seemed like I’d finally get him to sleep, and I’d fall into bed, and twenty minutes later he’d be screaming like he was on fire.”

Ariel was shocked. Liam was on fire? Oh no! Ariel knew that fire was hot and it could burn. She’d once touched the barbeque and had burned her finger, and it hurt so bad! No wonder Liam was crying! 

She walked over to Liam’s baby chair, where he was strapped in, kinda slumped over. He wasn’t crying, he was just sitting there drooling. Ariel looked at him closely. When she had burned her finger it had turned all red, and she had something called a blister that was soooo sore. Liam wasn’t red—well, not redder than normal—and he didn’t have any blisters. She touched his hand.

“Careful,” said Mommy. “Be gentle.”

Ariel turned to look at Mommy and Charlotte.

“Where are his blisters?” she asked.

The two women looked at each other, confused.

“His blisters?’ asked Charlotte. “He doesn’t have any blisters.” She looked at Mommy.

“Ariel, why do you think he has blisters?” asked Mommy.

Ariel shrugged. “You said that he was screaming like he was on fire.  If he was on fire, he should have blisters,” said Ariel.

Both women laughed.  

“Sweetie, when Charlotte said that Liam was screaming like he was on fire, she meant that he was crying a lot, not that he was literally on fire.”

Ariel was relieved. She didn’t really like Liam—what was there to like?—but she didn’t want him to be on fire!

Mommy and Charlotte went back to talking. They loved talking, all the time. Sometimes they laughed, sometimes the whispered, sometimes they were serious. Ariel knew that she wasn’t supposed to listen to other people’s conversations, but when they were at Charlotte’s house, what else was there to listen to, besides Liam crying?

“Did you hear about Bethany? She’s stepping out on Roger!” said Charlotte.

“I know! Does Roger suspect?”

Charlotte snorted. “I can’t see how he doesn’t. How many pilates classes does one woman have to go to?”

“Right! I saw her on Tuesday. She was going the studio. But I checked the schedule, and there were no classes scheduled for the next three hours. I guess she’s getting ‘private’ lessons from Alejandro.”

Charlotte moved her eyebrows up. “He is a fine looking man…”

“Maybe if Roger wasn’t so blind to her needs …”

The women continued talking. But Ariel was confused and concerned. Roger was blind? He was Daddy’s friend, and they’d been to Bethany’s and Rogers house a bunch of times. Ariel liked going there—they had the best swing set. But she didn’t know that Roger was blind! Was this new? She had seen Roger driving! On the weekend he’d driven Daddy home because Daddy’d had too many “brewskies” after the game! Ariel knew that blind people weren’t supposed to drive. Being blind meant you couldn’t see. What if he’d crashed and hurt Daddy? She’d have to ask Daddy about that.

She continued colouring in her book. She liked colouring books because they had lines, and if she didn’t go outside the lines, she could make beautiful pictures. She could hardly wait until she could use markers! Now those were some colours! But Mommy wouldn’t let her use markers because she was afraid that Ariel would colour on the furniture. That was silly! She’d only coloured on one wall one time, never on the furniture. She settled back, listening to the grown-ups talk. Liam had fallen asleep in his chair. Now they were talking about someone Mommy worked with.

“I swear, if he had a brain cell, it would be lonely,” said Mommy, shaking her head.

Mommy and Charlotte worked together at the same school, but Charlotte was off on something called “mat leave” because of Liam. Ariel did not know what “mat leave” was, exactly, but Mommy said that she was jealous. Mommy had a yoga mat. Maybe Charlotte did too, and she had to leave it somewhere because of Liam. Ariel didn’t know.

Charlotte laughed. “No kidding! And the ego on the guy! He is so power hungry!

Huh? Power hungry?

“He’s such an ego maniac!” said Mommy. “And, to boot, he thinks he’s such a ladies’s man.

Maniac? Lady-man?

“Right! His head’s so big, it’s a wonder he can even make it through the door!”

Both women laughed.

Mommy raised her glass in a toast.

“To stupid department heads!” They clinked glasses, and drank.

Ariel couldn’t understand why they were laughing. She was terrified. She didn’t know who they were talking about but he had a giant head, was a maniac, ate power when he was hungry, and was a lady-man. What kind of power did he eat? How big was his head if he couldn’t get through a door? And why was it so big? Was it because he ate power, or because he was a department head? Maybe he was a lady-eating man. Mommy was a lady! Was she in danger? Ariel put her thumb into her mouth.

“No thumbs, Ariel,” said Mommy.

“But … “ mumbled Ariel, around her thumb.

“Big girls don’t suck their thumbs, Ariel. And you’re a big girl, right?”

Ariel took her thumb out of her mouth. “I’m afraid of the man with the giant head,” she said. “The man who eats power when he’s hungry.”

Mommy and Charlotte looked at each other, confused, again.

“Who are you talking about, sweetie?”

“The lady-man that you work with. The ego maniac.”

Mommy thought for a minute. “Oh, you mean Bradley? The man that we were just talking about?”

Ariel nodded.

“Don’t worry about Bradley. He’s just a silly man who thinks he’s important.”

“But you said that he has a giant head. That’s scary.”

Charlotte smiled. “His head isn’t really big. We just say that when someone thinks they are more important than they really are.”

“And he’s not a lady-man?”

“No, honey,” sad Mommy. “He just thinks that all the ladies like him. And they don’t.”

Ariel wasn’t completely sure that this Bradley wasn’t bad news, but she trusted her mommy.

Just then the doorbell rang, which woke up Liam, who stared crying. It was Daddy, who had come to pick up “his ladies”. Ariel knew it was because of the “bevvies”. Mommy never drove if she’d had “bevvies”.

Mommy and Ariel said goodbye to Charlotte and Liam, but Ariel didn’t think that they heard because Liam was crying so loud—like he was on fire.

When they got into the car, Daddy asked how their visit had been.

“Daddy, is your friend Roger blind. Mommy and Charlotte think he’s blind.”

Daddy looked at Mommy, who looked at Ariel, her eyes wide.

“I .. I … I” said Mommy.

“No, he’s not blind. Why do you think he’s blind, Ariel?

“Because he doesn’t see Bethany wth the pilates guy. Mommy and Charlotte say he must be blind.”

“I’ll fill you in when we get home,” said Mommy. She turned and looked at Ariel. “And what did we say about listening to other people’s conversations?”

Ariel was confused. They’d explained that Liam was not on fire, that the Bradley man did not have a giant head, but she couldn’t ask whether Roger was blind? Grown ups were so confusing!