Angel, I’m coming home for Christmas.
Tell Mama and Lilac I said hi.
I miss all of you.
-Papa
Papa was off fighting in the Army, and I missed him a lot. I've been getting letters from him saying that he's going to be home for Christmas. The letters are sitting right next to my bed, so I can look at them every night, right before I go to sleep next to my sister. We had to share a bed, because Mama couldn't afford one for each of us. I wasn't complaining, though. My sister, Lilac, had just turned 4, and Mama was having trouble raising us two on her own. I noticed the bags under Mama's eyes, how she always slouched down whenever she sat at our wooden kitchen table. It was the last day of school before we got to go home and get ready for Christmas. I walked home on the dirt road, like I did every day. I walked through our screen door and saw Mama giving Lilac a bath in the sink. I sure was hungry, but I didn't ask for food. The crops had all died, and we didn't have Papa to buy the new crop. I start walking up the steps to my room and put on my fancy pj’s, the ones that the rich kids wear. Two years ago, Papa saved up all his money and bought these from the town shop. I braid my hair in two, making sure I looked in the mirror, and walked down the steps.
"Merry Christmas!" Lilac shouts from the sink.
"It's not Christmas yet, we have to wait for Santa." I say, wrapping her up in a dish rag.
"I need you to go to the neighbors and see if they hunted any extra turkey." Mama said, then walked upstairs. I don't want to question her.
"Come ‘on, let's go." I say, picking up Lilac and carrying her in my arms. She was skinny for a four-year-old. Only 'bout 40 pounds, and short.
"When's Santa coming?" She asks me for the second time.
"He's gonna come tonight, when we're sleeping." I say. After walking for 5 minutes, we get to the bishop’s house. They weren't rich, but compared to us they were. I knocked on their red door, and then their daughter opened it.
"What do you guys want?" She said, with some gum in her mouth.
I don’t want to answer her. Not because she was mean, but because she used to throw rocks at me when I was younger. "Where's your mama?" I ask.
She doesn't answer, just walks back in and screams, "Mama!"
I didn't bother to look at her cropped shirt and the tight jeans she was wearing. She was only a year older than me, but looked old, very old.
Mrs. Bishop comes down the steps, with a big smile across her face and says, "Oh, you even brought Lilac! What can I get y'all?"
If you didn't know better, you would've thought she was a sweet old southern woman. She was, and she'd been through a lot. Her husband got lung cancer and died a few years back, and her daughter barely slept at the house.
"Turkey!" Lilac yells out.
"Of course, how much?" Mrs. Bishop asks.
"Enough for four people." I say.
"Four! Is your daddy coming home?" When she said this, her smile grew.
"He sent me letters saying that he would." I say, smiling back.
"Alright, here you go." She says. And with that, hands us a fully cooked turkey all wrapped.
"Really?" I say.
"Anything for you!" She says giving us a hug. Lilac and I start walking back home.
"Thanks again!" I call from the road.
We reach our door and Lilac barges in. I follow in behind her and put down the turkey on the table. Right when I walk in, I see Mama sitting on the rocking chair, staring at the wall. I couldn't tell if she was depressed, or mad at me and Lilac. "Are you okay?" I ask her, walking back from the kitchen.
"Just wrap the gifts and decorate the tree." She says, getting up from the chair and walking into the kitchen.
Lilac lays down on the floor, all curled up in the blanket Mama made us to share. Right when I'm about to take out the box of ornaments, someone knocks on the door. It's Riley, my best friend.
"My mama is sick!" She screams through the screen.
I unlock the door, and she comes in. "What happened?" I ask.
"She drank too much, and now she can't move!" She says, tears forming at the tips of her eyes.
"Where's she now?" I ask her, handing her one of my knit pillows.
"She went to the hospital and told me to come here." She says, tears rushing down her face. By now, Lilac is sleeping on the floor, Mama is in the kitchen, still staring.
"Wanna help me decorate the tree?" I ask Riley. I felt guilty about saying this. Not because of Mama, but because this was the tradition Papa, and I had before he left. I remember he would lift me up to put the golden star on top.
The rest of the day I decorated the tree, Lilac woke up, then went back to sleep.
It's now almost 7 o'clock and Mama has snapped out of it. She just lit a fire, with the wood that was left. Lilac was falling back asleep, right on my lap. Mama sat back on the rocking chair, reading through the old letters from Papa. I could tell she missed him. We all did. Mama fell asleep on the rocking chair, and I lay down next to Lilac, on the cold, but warm floor.
The next morning, I woke up and Lilac was still sleeping, but Mama wasn't there. Our stockings weren't filled, but there were 3 wrapped boxes under the tree. I get up and walk into the kitchen to find Mama sitting at the kitchen table, slouched again, with her hair in knots.
"Wake up Lilac and unwrap your gifts." She says.
"Where's Papa?" I asked her, looking her right in the eye. She didn't answer me. "I said—."
She cut me off. "Go and open your gifts, and don't ask any more questions!”
I was really angry. I walk into the other room and pat Lilac on the back. "Come ‘on, it's time. Santa got us gifts." I say, as her eyes slowly start to open.
"Really?" She asks, jumping up in a second. She runs over to the gifts and grabs the biggest one.
Mama slowly walks in and sits down on the rocking chair. I was going to say something, but then I stopped myself. Lilac starts tearing off the wrapping paper, then pulls out a blue shirt. It was my shirt that was going to goodwill.
"Why'd you give her my shirt? Why didn't you answer my questions about Papa? Why are you always so sad? You're supposed to be a role model!" I say, straight to Mama's face. In a second, I realized what I said. I felt terrible.
"I can't afford any nice gifts, and your Papa is probably never coming home!" She screamed this at me, so loud, I burst out into tears.
Lilac ran up to me and hugged me hard. I sat next to the Christmas tree with Lilac weeping in the corner. We just sat there, for a couple hours, and waited. We never opened the other gifts. At night, I can’t sleep. I eventually dozed off then wake up to a noise. I looked in the doorway and I saw someone through the wired screen.
"Hey, Angel."
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