Haikuna Casserole

That irritating, erratic buzz of fluorescent lights underscored the chatter in the windowless break room. There were a few round tables and metal folding chairs, salt and pepper packets strewn everywhere. We had a couple of vending machines, an old tan colored fridge and boxes of extra plastic gloves and hairnets on every countertop.

My day time cafeteria staff at Berwyn Hospital’s long term recovery unit was finally sitting down for a few minutes after assembling dozens of lunch food trays for our patients. We had little down time before collecting the half uneaten food from all the rooms, and gearing up for the dinner service. BH wasn’t the most acclaimed hospital in the Chicago area, or really any area and honestly I don’t know much about the medical side of things. But I do know in my time here, we’ve gotten a good reputation with the senior set. 

PUDDING CUPS FIRST CHOICE 

HARD WATER STAINS THE BROWN TRAYS…

THE…

Odette, my newest middle aged underling, was sitting alone at the table with her colored index cards and scraps of paper scattered about. She looked off into the distance and took a scoop of mandarin oranges from the tiny plastic cup. Some syrup dribbled onto her white cafeteria vest. 

“Is it hard water stains? Is that what all the marks are on the trays that we can’t get off?’ She asked aloud to no one in particular. 

“Stains the what like what?” Jackie responded on autopilot…like she always did. She knew Odette was just working through her creative process. Jackie, a proud dachshund mom, loved to play the slots at the Wisconsin casinos on her nights off. Her red framed glasses were perched at the end of her nose, as she rifled through the change in her hand for her afternoon vending machine coffee.

‘YES!! Vending Machine Black Coffee!! That works!’ Odette continued. Ven-Ding-Ma-Chine Black -Coff-ee…she counted each syllable with her fingers to ‘7’'

Jackie slid the last quarter into the vending machine, the whizzing sound of the coffee pouring into the styrofoam cup cut through the room. Odette scribbled on the notecard and put down her pencil.

PUDDING CUPS FIRST CHOICE

VENDING MACHINE BLACK COFFEE

CHERRIES IN A CLOUD

Brian threw his daily Lean Cuisine into the microwave, and tucked the ends of his ponytail back into his hairnet. He nodded in Odettel’s direction. 

‘Love It.’ 

I’ve worked at Berwyn Hospital for 28 years, head of the cafeteria. Every item that is set on one of these brown food trays that goes into the rooms of our patients, has to go through me first. Two cherry tomatoes on the side salads, not less not more. Not too many bananas in the fruit salad, it stops ‘em up. Cut the sandwiches diagonally, it’s more aesthetically pleasing. I know which rooms like like the unsweetened tea and who wants the crusts cut off their PB &Js. I’ve seen a lot in my time here, so many personalities working in this cafeteria, yet Odette still really stood out. 

Odette was the resident composer of the Cantina. The brilliant Bard of Berwyn.. I hired her about a year or so ago, and while her co-workers sometimes grow tired of her tireless positivity, hiring her was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. 

I remember seeing her pull into the parking lot for her interview. I have the corner office with big picture windows. It’s what I got after two decades at this place, and while a raise would’ve helped by the bills, the sight of the birds on the trees might be a good trade off. At least that’s what I tell myself. Odette pulled up in a wood paneled station wagon, beat up like a car you might imagine in on cinder blocks in the front yard. Out of commission, but it still rattled on. There were piles of notebooks in the backseat, on the dashboard. Rust lined tire rims, and only one hubcap my eye could see. I asked her why she wanted to work in our Cafeteria. ‘I don’t want to work in your cafeteria. I need to work in your cafeteria’ 

I appreciated her her honesty. Came to find out she was leaving a violent marriage, She’d raised four boys and finally got the courage to leave with nothing but a small bag of her clothes and her station wagon full of her musings. She knew how to pack a lunch, boil an egg, and whip up any kind of hot dish you could imagine. Tuna Casserole was her specialty she proclaimed, and it soon become a patient favorite.

“This wasn’t my life’s plan” She told me “And i mean no disrespect, I think this is such a noble profession. You all are the unsung heroes. And I’d love to learn how you do what you do!’  So I hired her on the spot.

Jackie took a big sip of her hot coffee, and sat down in the chair with a dramatic sigh. ‘Odette, how do you find the energy for this? These poems these Hookoos or whatever… every meal, every day. These patients are working my last frayed nerve. Room 117…that guy, the one..’

“Edward! EDWARD” Daryle chimed in. ‘Edward. The Worst. Do you think he Ever had fun in his life?’ 

We all knew Edward always asked for seconds when it came to anything sweet and syrupy and he shared Odette’s love of Mandarin oranges. She looked over at me: ‘Maybe we give him an extra one tonight?’ 

‘Oh sure, why not.’ I replied, putting a second cup on one of the dinner trays.

Odette grabbed her pencil again, tapped the eraser against her lips. She’d dabbled in sonnets when she took a few creative writing classes in her 20s, but Haikus became her specialty. 5 syllables-7 syllables - 5 syllables Together, made 17, her lucky number. 

WE SPARED YOU FROM HAM

ORANGE YOU GLAD TO SEE US HERE?

LOVE TO HEAR YOUR LAUGH

She grabbed her index card and stuffed it under the mandarin oranges on the plastic tray. Darryl rolled his eyes

  ‘Ohhhhh dette! We’ll see if that guy ever cracks a smile!

“Just a reminder–Room 101 is going home tonight. Say your goodbyes at dinner service, ok?’ I announced ‘ Let’s hope she doesn’t have to come back!’ 

Jackie put her hand up to her heart for a moment. ‘Yes, Prayers!!’

Room 101 was Judy the kind and soft spoken former children’s book author and fresh flower love from small town Minnesota. She’d bee in and out of BH dozens of times in the last year–bone fractures, a surgery, her dementia was getting worse. 

 She loved Odette’s hot dishes, and even had her niece write a Yelp review of Odette’s tuna casserole, which was cute because who takes the time to write yelp reviews of hospital food? Odette slipped more Haikus under her paper placemats than any other patient here. 

LAKE LOON, NOT LOONY

ASKS:ARE YOU THERE, GOD IT’S 

ME, JUDY. IN BLOOM! 

Room 144: Mrs. Feldstein was a former music teacher at the local middle school. Her Parkinson's left her bed bound in recent weeks. She would ask her son to bring her train case full of avon lipsticks, and never left her lips naked. On her bedside table was a collection of mugs given to her over the years from her students. ‘Home is where my piano is” “Make Good Treble’ 

YOU ARE HOT COCOA

EXTRA WHIP CREAM WITH SPRINKLES

COZY AND VIBRANT

I’m sharing this story because I need you to know that there is still so much goodness out there–and in here, in this tiny basement break room. I’m not kidding myself, I don’t have any delusions of grandeur about our jobs–but there are people who turn sorrow into beauty, when they don’t even think anyone is looking. People want to know they still matter in this life, that other people still see them. Odette understood that. She won’t have some star on that famous street in Hollywood, or get some sort of big prize or have her name in lights. 

‘Odette, just make sure your little poetry cards aren’t getting into tonight’s turkey gravy… we do still have some sanitation rules you know’

‘Of Course Of Course!’ Odette agreed. She stood up from her chair and Janine stood up from her chair and ??

JANINE, YOU ARE SEEN

KARAOKE-ING MACHINE

HEART OF GOLD!

The room got a good chuckle from that. I shook my head with a knowing laugh. I like to host a karaoke night around the holidays for the staff. And It’s true, you’ve never seen someone belt out Neil Diamond’s ‘Sweet Caroline’ like my late sister and me. 

******

Dinner was served. My crew was milling about the hallways, collecting the trays, saying goodnight and refilling water bottles, gently shutting down margarita requests from Burt in room 123.

I could see Odette peering into Room 101. The nurse was helping Judy put on her overcoat as her niece stuffed the check out paperwork into her tote. I knew Odette was going to miss sweet Judy and her head of silver curls. 

"Excuse Me ! You!" I heard the nurse call out to Odette. "You work in the cafeteria, right?" The nurse asked. Odette nodded. Can you come in here a second? Can you help us?"

Judy’s niece looked frustrated. “Oh I don’t know what my aunt is trying to say. Haikuna Casserole??’ Judy nodded and smiled. It seemed everyone stopped asking Judy anything anymore, they thought her mind was mostly gone. 

‘YES. Haikuna Casserole’ Judy replied with a sly smile, pointing her long finger toward Odette. She then pointed to the cabinet next to the hospital bed. 

Odette walked over, May I? Judy nodded. She opened the cabinet to find a notebook. ‘This?’ She asked, looking toward Judy. Judy nodded again and motioned her to open it. Odette opened the notebook and taped on the pages inside were all of her index cards, the haikus that she’d left on Judy’s meal trays. 

Auntie, is that it? Her niece asked. Judy smiled, keeping her attention on Odette.

"Oh thank you...what was your name?" 

"Odette" Thank you Odette! My aunt wouldn’t leave without Haikuna Casserole! Whatever on earth that means!’ Judy smiled. 

Judy reached out her arm for the notebook and pulled it close to her chest like a hug. She looked at Odette. 

‘THANK YOU she mouthed. THANK YOU, ODETTE’ Odette smiled. “Really, this place is wonderful." Judy’s niece said. "Maybe we’ll see you again on better terms!"

As they left the hospital room, Odette waved them all goodbye and tossed the used napkins on the bedside table into the waste basket.

"I see you, Haikuna Casserole!!" I said. “I think that’s your new pen name!"

We both started laughing so hard, our eyes welled up with tears.

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