Vintage Buckle Lock

“True but, everyone knows this is the best way to spend a chilly evening. Plus, I already have everything set up, so just try not to think about it so much. I'm sure Rhett is just feeling anxious about his performance on Saturday. Who knows he might even come clean about his true feelings for you tonight at dinner. Have fun, love you, bye.” 

Well, I wasn’t wrong about this being the perfect way to spend my evening. I mean I have warm fresh baked cinnamon sugar cookies resting on the baking sheet in the oven. A delicious strawberry salad, with extra strawberries and feta (of course), marinating and practically calling my name on the top shelf in the fridge. Oh, and let’s not forget the smooth, hot, chocolatey goodness topped with whipped cream and chocolate shavings inside my favorite mug. The one with fall leaves painted on it and a quote that says “Cutest Person of the Year”. I have my favorite movie, Twilight: New Moon, set on pause on the 65in flat screen hanging on my living room wall and 3 of my favorite orange and navy blue pillows and blankets draped over my recliner. But, just in case that didn’t set the mood, I also kind of overdid it with a bunch of small vanilla and pumpkin candles on the nightstands in between my couch, my recliner and the book table in the middle of the room. Which is stacked high with my Nora Roberts, James Patterson and Vogue books and Magazines on top of it. Just like I said, the perfect way to spend a calm chilly evening by myself. 

For Sabrina on the other hand she is spending tonight with her “boyfriend” Rhett. Honestly, for once, I do believe that she found someone who actually might be out of her league and not the other way around. Sabrina is beautiful, like Barbie plastic beautiful from the blonde hair, the perfect red ombre manicure, and her amazing seasonal fashion sense all the way down to her coke bottle body. She’s literally every man's fantasy. 

Alternatively, there was Rhett. Now when he was younger he was a bit of a bad boy. You know the kind that you think would pull off small crimes but was rich, cute and pretty enough to get away with it all yet, still be considered a “bad” good boy. Well he hit puberty hard. Turning him from adorable to sexy to completely irresistible. Like If Lucifer had a baby with the hottest chick on earth they would name him Rhett and he would be the model for the world’s hottest richest, most unattainable bachelor. He stood 5’7 with the most glorious black hair that parted in the middle and curved perfectly around his head. He had delicious looking lips that seemed to whisper your name when he was near and his eyes. Oh god, his eyes were the envy of the heavens themselves. The sky covered themselves with clouds when he would look up at them because the deepest blue could never compare to his compassionate hypnotizing gaze. Rhett stood with grace and confidence and made everyone feel calm and welcomed but also subservient to him. He was powerful, sexy and beautiful. 

I have rarely ever been envious of Sabrina because unlike her I have been known to be introverted and independent. However, our phone call tonight did worry me a little. It was so spot on to my own personal thoughts it sounded suspicious. You see, on Wednesday last week Rhett went to purchase President Cup Golf Tournament tickets for a group day out. In the group he counted himself, Sabrina, me, his best friend, his best friends’ girlfriend and his other golf buddy Nathan. Sabrina is used to planning and well practically being pampered and getting everything she wants from guys at the snap of her fingers. So, Rhett choosing an activity that happens to be outdoors, and without letting Sabrina know about it first, kind of rubbed her the wrong way. Poor Rhett couldn’t see that she was upset but, knowing her as long as I have I noticed her displeasurement. She had a small squint in her left eye and I noticed when she smiled from the right side of her face that she was showing extra teeth and giving way more soft head nods than usual. Admittedly, it was a matter of time before she broke it off with him and called up any of her lawyer flings to take her shopping or on some kind of trip. I didn’t think Rhett deserved that. 

So when I got home Wednesday evening after my long shift at my analytical job researching countless different ways that students could sing to the same tune of “Mary had a little lamb”, I got a call from Sabrina and she told me I had to go to the Presidents Cup with her or she would throw a fit, crash a golf cart and dump him on the spot oh and buy another handbag before she dumped him. I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted to hear was her complaining about how terrible life was for her when she had men literally waiting on her all the time. First world problems am I right? After our call, I pulled out my vintage black and green leather bound journal with the thick obsidian stone buckle lock on it to write down what I thought about their relationship. I would call my journal a diary but it wasn’t like I wrote in it everyday and it wasn’t even pink.

“Dear Vintage Buckle Lock”, I started off, “Please give me the wisdom to understand why things are the way they are. I work constantly and I struggle daily but I stay quiet because if I don’t I'm told I’m complaining and not being grateful etc.. But Sabrina, ugh Sabrina! She gets everything I mean like she has everything. She is dating the most sophisticated, beautiful guy that I have ever seen and he spoils her absolutely rotten and yet she complains and throws fits, she is not grateful and she barely even works as a receptionist but, if she complains she gets new shoes and purses and manicures. I wish… I wish Vintage Buckle Lock, that I could have the life of luxury that she always complains about. The smoking hot and loving boyfriend soon to be husband, the glamor, the beauty, the trips, clothes shoes and just the life of being well adorned, embraced, wanted and pampered by everyone. Plus, It would be nice if Rhett told her the truth about how he feels about her, who she is and how lucky she is compared to a lot of people around her. I mean she has two cars for goodness sake and still insists that everyone drives her around. Anyways, Vintage Buckle Lock I would be lucky if a good guy and life looked my way… Sorry for the rant. I guess it’s just been a long day”. 

I know someone may look at my journal entry for Wednesday and question my friendship with Sabrina but I love her like she’s a sister and I was just super exhausted from that day. Indubitably, Rhett and Sabrina’s conversation happened just short of a week later. That is why I was so surprised during our phone call today and why I did not expect Sabrina to agree to dinner with him this evening. The brutalness of his honesty was probably exaggerated as he was exuberantly charming but, I also haven’t seen them have an actual fight before so maybe it was as bad as she was explaining it to me. Rhett asked Sabrina out on a midday coffee and pastry run where he bought his usual chai latte with whipped cream and Sabrina her usual extra foam, extra espresso, soy milk latte with 3 pumps of caramel. While out on their siesta Rhett informed her that she had, “all the grace and beauty of a supermodel but the shallowness and ungratefulness as someone born on another planet. A woman who never learned to say the phrase please or thank you.” he went on to tell her that she should, “move to a South American country and live as they do for half a year” and that she was “pretty but had no depth to her so he was out of her league” but, that he was desperately hoping she had more to her than pretty looks and using guys. Yet, the worst thing he said that really shook both of us was that he thought I “would be more interesting because I have a lot to offer and I was just as beautiful”. The compliment was well needed and definitely overdue. 

How crazy are coincidences, am I right? I was a bit curious and filled with a dirty yet exciting guilty pleasure. Sabrina was finally told the truth. When she asked me to join them for their dinner tonight I quickly refused and made the evening as cozy and delightful as possible. Which was perfect because once I pressed play on the paused movie, the screen jumped into a dark evening scene inside the main female protagonists bedroom. She was joined in front of her purple bed with the male guardian. Shirtless and gleaming with beads of sweat cascading down his olive skin and gliding through the walls of his perfectly sculpted six pack, the guardian radiates heat and moves towards the main protagonist who could do nothing but stand and gawk at his sweaty pectorals. Watching with extreme delight I picked up my vintage buckle lock journal and with the same intensity as the scene before me I wrote devilishly how much I wished Rhett would surprise and swoop me off my feet or even just embrace me. How I wished for him to stand finely sculpted in lean muscles, a six pack, feeding me a chocolate strawberry from his  hand with melted chocolate covering his fingertips just enough for me to enjoy them as my second dessert. Healthy, rich, intelligent and delicious but, without any retaliation or backlash from Sabrina as he took me to be his new pampered future wife. I giggled with maleficent laughter and then set aside my buckle lock journal to continue watching my favorite movie. 

The movie continues with a thump sound effect that was interrupted by a thud on my apartment door. I quickly pressed the pause button on my tv and rushed to check the peephole. It was completely dark and then I remembered I put a sticker onto the opposite side of the door to prevent lookie lous. I was not expecting anyone this late in the evening and I'm already halfway through my movie and it hasn’t even gotten to the main climax yet. My hot chocolate was about three quarters of the way done and I had eaten more than enough feta for one night. And now, my cinnamon sugar cookies were the third most exciting thing for me to look forward to tonight. Dressed in my oversized sleep shirt splattered with yellow and red and pink flowers on it I quickly slid into my slippers behind my front door and shouted loud enough for my neighbors to hear me, 

“Who is it?”.

“Uh, it’s me Rhett” he sounded nervous but maybe that was because I just made him announce his presence to the entire floor. Rhett….Here? Now? A hundred thoughts circulated through my brain as if Serena herself was playing racket ball with each of my brain cells at ten times their normal speed. The cool air escaping into my apartment underneath the door circulated around my slippers and ankles. I had to let him in, I mean it was the most humane thing to do, right? 

Pulling open the door slightly to check and make sure he was really there and to see if he was alone only made him look even more stunning as the blue tint from the moon bounced and swirled on top of his jet black hair. Moon blue must be added to his color theory. 

“Oh Hey Rhett what’s going on? Is Sabrina okay?” I asked completely unaware. 

“Yeah she is but..” he paused, gazed around the room and then stared for a fraction of a moment at my tv with the screen halted on the frame of the guardian and female protagonist embracing each other. 

“But?” I asked inquisitively 

“But I didn’t come to talk about Sabrina, i mean I did but I didn’t, I mean”

Rhett was pacing back and forth and for the first time I saw him as someone just like me. He seemed normal and flabbergasted and dare I say, awkward. Still astonishingly beautiful I actually felt more comfortable with him not seeming to always have it all together. 

“Sabrina and I are a great match on paper but not”

 and as quickly as lightning strikes the distance between us disappeared and my right hand was enveloped in his left and on his warm muscular chest. 

“Where it counts. You know when people look at me all they ever see is a credit card with a pretty face but you, you treated me well better. You probably saw all that too but…” Letting go of my hand as dramatically as he took it he walks across the room and then turns with what appears to be tears in his eyes. 

“There was another guy, there, at the restaurant waiting just two seats behind us. She is beautiful but selfish and vapid”. 

The tears stained his face as the red plumpness of his cheeks rose showing his faded tiny freckles. His shoulders dropped, his head hung forward and then all at once he dropped to his knees completely defeated. He looked smaller and more vulnerable than I have even seen and strangely in that moment all of my pity was replaced with hope. 

I slowly walked over to this heartbroken and spectacular man weeping into his hands. Pulling the long sleeves of my nightshirt over my hands I knelt down and wiped away his tears. As much as I wanted him, I knew I wasn’t what he needed. 

“I’m so sorry she hurt you Rhett and you should know that you do deserve better. Money and looks are both temporary and they are what you have, not who you are and someday you are going to meet someone who sees you as bright and wonderful as the moon sees the stars. To be honest with you, I am not the best at breakups…but I did just make some sugar cookies and hot cocoa and if you don't mind cheesy teenage drama rom-coms then I can grab you a pillow and we can just let this evening pass by. We can drink, eat, cry, laugh and even binge watch until Netflix kicks us off the streaming platform.”

 Lifting his head up with my left hand from the bottom of his chin I make the most sincere and heartfelt agreement with our eyes staring into each other. 

“When your tomorrow comes, I’ll be right here with you”. I smile without breaking eye contact and within a moment's bliss I find his arms wrapped around my body embracing me gently but  firmly. His body cools me while mine warms him from the exchange of pain and love. 

“Sugar cookies you say?” he whispered 

“Yup, and hot chocolate for days with extra whipped cream” I whispered back.