Joy to the World

"You could do with some cheering up babe. Where's that festive spirit?"

Max glowered from behind a giant heap of gifts. Bradley could be fun, yes. If only he knew when to stop. Right now, with frayed nerves and a backpack digging into his delts, Max had no patience for his boyfriend's "festive spirit".

The elevator doors opened to a mom and toddler duo. Max forced a smile and a nod as they stepped in. Do they talk at that age? Would it be rude to ask?

The Jenga tower of gifts wobbled in Max's arms as Bradley pulled a box out. He unpacked, carefully pocketing the packaging, a flat rubber alligator toy that he presented to the little girl.

"Behold!" Bradley puppeteered the toy through several squeaky poses, each inflating it to comical proportions. The girl clapped at the performance, a furry ball of woolen joy that had somehow hatched legs and a cute smile. She reached for the toy, now a bloated frog. Well, maybe it had always been a frog. Max hadn't done any of the shopping. Or wrapped any of the gifts. He suddenly felt terrible, feeling unequipped to be an uncle.

The balloon frog floated down to the girl's outstretched hands. It burst at first contact, a loud gunshot-boom echoed within the close walls. Shock burned into anger as he watched the girl grapple with tears, seconds away from wailing. Bradley laughed out in triumph, the absurdity somehow convincing enough for the girl to also join in. She started clapping again. That was close!

The mom had receded into a polite nervous shock, escaping at the earliest exit the elevator offered. The girl disappeared down the corridor in a confused trance, still clapping slowly.

"Bradley!" Max refrained from saying anything more.

"What?" Bradley sounded meek, his obstinate cheeriness gone.

"That wasn't cool." His temper was hanging off a precipice now. Bradley was handed the pile. Max enunciated each syllable – "Go to the car. Bring back nothing explosive. Nothing unsafe." Bradley looked like a child shrinking into his dark velvet coat. Perfectly appropriate. "Can you do this for me Bradley?" 

Three years had passed since Unity's wedding. Since Max had last met his sister. A meeting he had waited far too long for, still not long enough to feel prepared. He rang the bell and waited, again. The door opened.

Unity was in an open-buttoned cardigan and an unfamiliar hairstyle. She looked shorter than he remembered her. Plumper. Her cheeks had balled up, face beaming. She looked happy, tired, and beautiful, all at once. Max couldn't help but smile.

"Missed you little brother!"

She hugged tight, her baby bump stiff beneath the layers. The cardigan was soft, too sturdy to be one of Unity's projects. Max's birthday present had been a set of woolen coasters that had unravelled during shipping. He decided to not bring it up.

"Same." He nestled a kiss deep into her hair. It smelled vaguely like their mother. 

"I wished you were at the shower." There was no complaint in her voice, just faint pathos.

He spent a minute coming to terms with her hair. Her look. Her everything. "You look younger somehow."

"Oh, thank you." Unity never lingered on compliments, but he felt her chest surge. "And where's this Bradley?"

"Awww! Look at you two! Someone should be taking pictures!" Bradley's jacket was unbuttoned now, shorter in the front and coat tails in the back. A bright purple crop-top flaunted his bare midriff. A red sash cinched his already slender waist impossibly tight. Max let go of Unity, cringing with second-hand embarrassment. His boyfriend looked like a back alley magician selling poppers behind a New Orleans nightclub.

"Hold this for me babe." The pile of gifts, now shorter, found their way back to Max. A "Merry Christmas Unity!" and an elaborate routine of congratulations and air kisses followed. In classic Bradley fashion, he ended on a magic trick, pulling a silver locket from behind her ear. Unity glowed red, baffled, and he fastened the necklace around her neck.

"Smell the rose!" The locket hid a vial of perfume beneath an engraved rose. It looked archaic, more in line with Unity's new age sentiments than Max's own. Where did Bradley find this? Probably an antique store. Or the back alleys of a nightclub.

“Ohh… it’s… such a sweet smell.” She was struggling to keep up. Bradley had a practiced monologue about the benefits of silver and aromatherapy that left Unity both overwhelmed and intrigued. And looking utterly unconvinced. Do hippies have denominations? Is Unity's nature loving crunchy club in a civil-war with the voodoo witchcrafters? Max didn't ask.

“It’ll bring a healthy baby girl out of you!” Bradley didn't need to catch his breath, continuing onto the gifts with undiminished enthusiasm. "These are some sandwich cookies I made for the mother! I know, I know, everyone's watching their weight, but you need to get that little girl hooked onto Uncle Bradley's cooking before she's out of the oven! And I know all about those cravings!" He dipped into a scandalous whisper, handing box after box to Unity. "And these are for the baby girl! Nothing color-coded, I know better than that! And these," The last of the pile were apparently bottles of champagne. Bradley claimed them and strode right into the apartment "Are for the dad-to-be! Where is Dr. Henry?" His lilting voice echoed from inside in an unceasing siren. The siblings stood stunned, silent.

Unity recovered first. "Come on in. Ask your boyfriend to call off the search. Humphrey's at work, he'll be here by eight."

"On Christmas Eve?"

"We are saving up our vacation days." Max's disappointment must have been obvious, so she continued with a sigh. "Doctors have their own… performance reviews. We all have our careers to worry about."

It sounded sore and personal, so Max promptly dropped the topic. The presents juggled their way back to Max's arms, this time on his chivalrous insistence. Bradley's bags were hooked into his elbows as he rolled into the home his sister had made for herself. 

"I hope you have something better than… gym clothes… for dinner. At least your boyfriend was dressed for the occasion."

There she was. Max's dear sister.

---

Bradley had decided to display his homemade cookies, brownies and other things with French names on the dining table. The rest of the boxes, mostly toys and dresses for the baby, found their final resting place on the couch. An island of colored chaos in a beige sea.

The decor was on theme – sanitized platitudes, speckless mirrors, astrological charts, and Humphrey's many degree certificates.

The Christmas tree knew it was out of place and had slunk away next to the fireplace. The stockings surprised Max. His sister had finally knit something that hadn't fallen apart yet. There were photos from their honeymoon. An abstract picture that turned out to be an ultrasound. The largest was a wedding photo, the one with both the families. Max looked at his older skinnier self in the picture. The only one not smiling.

Unity had walked over to him, displeased. "Bradley wants to cook lunch. Something vegan. I didn't want to be rude."

"Vegetarian." Unity looked cheery in the photograph. It bothered Max.

"And how is that different?"

Max tried to remember. "Dairy. He's okay with dairy."

"And you are okay with that? What about proteins?”

Max just shrugged. "Whey is dairy. He cooks well." Actually, the finest cooking he'd tasted since mom.

Unity massaged her temples. "So, I had planned turkey for lunch… your favorite. I am guessing that's not going to work out?" 

Max wasn't listening. She wasn't wearing the necklace.

"Max?"

How long was he staring? He looked back at the family portrait. "You hate him."

"What? Max, no! I don't hate him." She was being defensive. "He's just… you know? Judgy. He doesn't like the couch. Or the cling wraps. He doesn't want me to cook-"

"I hate Humphrey." Max was done. "I'm here. I compromised. Because you're family."

Several breathless seconds passed.

"Max, you can't possibly still be… That was three years ago. We've moved on. I have moved on." Was she actually taking Humphrey's side? "I forgave him."

That hit him hard. Max hadn't. You don't forgive liars. You don't marry cheaters. But she had. Max never understood why. Now, with the baby on the way, it seemed all too permanent.

If he had no say in her decisions, she had no say in his.

"If Bradley doesn't like something, he says it to your face. If you don't like something about him, say it right back. He can take it." Max was afraid he had gone too far. He waited for his heart to stop pounding. It didn't. "We don't do secrets. No lies. Honesty, full and final."

Unity looked concerned. "Okay… gotcha." 

Max looked down, ashamed. He had lost control of his temper.

"You didn't like the necklace?" He wanted to move on, but he had to ask.

He saw her nod softly. "I am not sure I should be… inhaling chemicals. I’m six months pregnant."

That seemed reasonable. "Bradley works in pharma. He designs drugs." For cattle, mostly. "He'll know if it's anything dangerous."

She stood there, considering. Her breathing calmed down, and then his. She put the necklace on and took a long hard smell of the perfume. 

"I was looking for a locket. Remember how mom has one with our hair? I was planning to do that with her hair… once she has enough. Her first haircut."

Max nodded. Compromise.

---

"So Max, how goes work?"

"Good." Compromise, Max reminded himself.

Bradley was finishing up in the kitchen. Unity was showering after her third nap of the day. That left him alone with Humphrey. Late as he was, his brother-in-law had somehow made it home before midnight, tired to the bone. Still, surprisingly upbeat.

"So what exactly are you working on? So close to DC. Must be interesting." His exhausted eyes blinked asynchronously. "Sure you are not in some nefarious government project?"

"Just software infrastructure." Max hid his annoyance at the absurd question. "We work with the Department of Defense. That's about it."

Humphrey nodded, believing Max. "Well, you should look into some West Coast companies. Many of my patients work in tech. I can get you references."

Max nodded politely. He hated moving. He had turned down one good offer this year. "Not many options for Bradley here." 

Humphrey frowned, biting at the last of Bradley's cookies. "Take this from me Max." His voice was constricted, contrite. "No relationship is worth it if there is no space to grow in it."

How did Humphrey, of all people, dare to lecture him about relationships? He swallowed his rage with an ice-cold protein shake. The winter chill was suddenly gone.

"What are you boys up to?" Max took a long moment to register Unity's arrival, and to calm himself. She was fresh out of the shower in a new pink cardigan. He had never noticed her dimples before.

"Hey honey. How are you feeling?"

"Good… very tired. I rested the whole day, thanks to Bradley. He is a great cook… better than me I'd bet."

"Oh I doubt that hon." Humphrey went doctor-mode for a brief moment, before returning to his usual personality. He kissed Unity. Max turned away. 

"You haven't tried his brownies. They are delicious!" She sat at the head of the table, eying the buffet. The table was arrayed with salads, cheeses, curries and bread. Max was already dreading the Christmas calories now that the snow had ruined plans to run. 

"I didn't see any brownies!"

"Well, I must have finished them then." Unity giggled shamelessly. "What? I'm pregnant! I get all the cheat days I want!" She dismissed the looks of surprise directed at her with just a wave of her hand. "Wait till you hear I had a whole turkey for brunch! Come on Bradley! Don't keep a pregnant lady waiting!"

Bradley entered with the showstopper, a whey-custard dessert that Max loved and feared equally. Humphrey popped the champagne and poured three drinks. Bradley raised his own in a toast. Max cringed for the impending wave of embarrassment as his boyfriend decided to make an unprompted speech.

"To Unity, who has so graciously decided to host us on this Christmas Eve. For all the sacrifices mothers have to endure. Emotionally, physically, mentally, professionally. I know it has been tough going, but trust me. You are going to beat that bitch who stole your promotion and take her-"

"To my baby niece!" Max interrupted before Bradley could get any more graphic.

Unity hid her face behind a glass of water. Humphrey eyed her for a second, before turning towards Max. He raised his glass, "To growth!"

"To God, and all the bounty and beauty of this world!" Unity piped in, still slightly peeved at Bradley's indiscretion but too starving to make a big deal out of it.

Everyone dug in.

"Vegetarian, you say?" Humphrey started conversationally.

"Every single thing! With as much added protein as I could get away with! You see that fluffy bread? That's all protein powder. You don't get that with regular flour. That is a Bradley Burns special. If I had my way, school lunches would be full of these. No more obesity and diabetes! That's why our company is working on making protein powder cheaper."

"And how would you do that?" Humphrey's curiosity was getting annoying.

"So we have this drug that increases the number of milk cycles in cows. More milk cycles means more milk. More milk in the market makes whey cheaper-"

"Max, could you pass the custard?" Unity spat out between two mouthfuls. This was beyond 'pregnancy brain'. She was devouring the dinner table at a supernatural speed. She had streaks of curry on her cheeks, crumbs on her sweater, and sweat stains everywhere else. 

He apparently didn't move fast enough because Unity stood up to grab the dessert herself. She reached across the table, climbing onto it with one bony knee. Her pregnant belly hovered frighteningly close to the glassware and the cutlery. Everyone held their breath, till she was back in her seat.

Humphrey was paralyzed in shock. "Honey? Unity?" He rushed to whisper something to her, to only be met with an "I'm okay." She started licking custard off her hand.

Then, she started retching.

"Max, call an ambulance." Humphrey had a no-nonsense tone.

"I'll do it! Is she really that sick? What's happening? " Bradley was already on his phone, moving out to the living room to make the phone call.

"Unity, we should go to the bedroom. Max!" There was an urgency in Humphrey's voice. The two carried Unity off to the bedroom. 

A ghoulish scream escaped her as she laid on the bed. Max was following Humphrey's orders mindlessly. Positioning her. Removing excess clothing. Baggy skin stuck to her now bony form, as if all the fat in her body had oozed out of her. She looked like a pregnant skeleton. Max unbuttoned her shirt. Viscous fluid streamed from her bra, her ribs painted in an ugly yellow milk. She slapped his hands away furiously. He stepped back.

"She's crowning!" Humphrey's disbelief reflected Max's own. Only, it was far scarier coming from a gynecologist .

The next few minutes were spent in a haze of errands. Humphrey was precise and Max didn't ask questions. Unity groaned every now and then. Bradley watched from the door. He had his camera on. "No filming." Humphrey's voice brooked no arguments. 

Max was putting away Unity's clothes and jewelry in the closet when it hit him. He opened the locket to find an empty vial.

"Everyone, she is in labor. It is early but nothing to worry about. Bradley, I need updates on the ambulance!" Humphrey was focused on his wife, trying to both diagnose the situation and reassure her.

"Bradley." Max watched his boyfriend back away. "Did you call an ambulance?"

"Yeah, I just called, they are on their way, but the snow is making it difficult to get their team together is what I heard, but they were quite confident-"

"You didn't." Max could read it in Bradley's demeanor. "What was in the locket?"

"Max, I need your hands here. Now!"

"It was perfume, Max, trust me, I-"

"Can I?" Max towered over Bradley, practically pushing him out of the bedroom. He took two long, deep breaths. He looked over at Unity crying in pain. Max fished out his keys and threw them at his ex-boyfriend. "Leave. Don't come back."

"Max, I was trying to help! She had to go through three more months of that, you wouldn't want to-"

"LEAVE!"

---

Max was glad to see Unity smiling after what she went through only a couple of hours ago. The name was fitting. Joy.

Humphrey approached Max and awkwardly placed his hand on his shoulder. "Good work tonight Max."

"I should've known better." Max looked away.

"Max!” Humphrey walked around to face him. ”It’s not your fault!'

"No. I really should've known better. He had always been pushy. So demanding. We were just doing his things all the time. I don't like clubbing. But we just had to go out every other evening. Sometimes, I understand. But, all the time?"

Max’s voice started breaking. "And he had no sense of boundaries. Do you know I haven't had turkey in three years! Who does that for someone? I don't even know if I actually liked him or if I just stuck with him because relationships mean you stick it out and compromise. There were jobs I turned down. And what he did to Unity-"

Max broke down sobbing. He felt Humphrey's arms squeeze him close. They stayed that way for a whole minute, until Max calmed down.

“So, about those references you were talking about earlier.”

”Joy would be lucky to have her uncle around."