An Online Encounter

Several years ago, I informed a friend of mine, Sadie, that I would be getting married. Of course, I did not know when or to whom, but I knew I wanted to get married and that I was finally ready.

I decided to "put myself out there," and thus began a lot of awkward encounters. In my last story, I gave an account of meeting Ryan, and then my parents had the bright idea of introducing me to the son of a friend. I will call him Sherman.

Keeping in line with my resolve to be open-minded and meet people, I agreed to meet him. Looking back, I can see it was a mistake to meet him at a Christmas Eve dinner between my family and his.

Our parents watched us intently. I tried to start a conversation with him which went nowhere. He was tall, okay looking, and quiet. Regardless, I learned that he worked with Japanese animation artists overseas, and in order to work for them, he had to work at night. He lived with his mom, who lived in a house in the woods, so he was socially isolated. He was an atheist, but for some reason, that did not bother anyone else, even though we were all Christians. I think they were hoping I could convert him or something, and that always goes well.

During dinner, we finally started talking as a group, which was better than not talking at all, and things felt natural. Afterwards, he asked me out on a date, and we saw "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" (without our parents, thank goodness). I honestly did not feel one way or another about him, and when he told me that his "interest had waned," I wasn't at all offended and went along my merry way.

My brother had a different idea. He suggested that I join an online Christian dating website, and I resisted this idea for a long time. But finally, after failed attempts at finding anybody, I agreed. I also made a deal with myself: I would keep my eyes open for someone I might like, but I would focus my energies on enjoying the single life. So I joined the website, and then I arranged a monastery trip for Orthodox singles. It was supposed to be a trip for Orthodox girls, but the group kind of got out of hand, and single boys jumped on the bandwagon.

Meanwhile, I went through a long list of potential Orthodox boys on the website. It was a little disheartening, but that it wasn't working out was no surprise to me. It could be amusing, though. One boy thought it was a good idea to take pictures of himself in boxer shorts in the bathroom or looking through his own venetian blinds. After that stalker, I figured nothing was going to work out.

Then I found someone who actually sparked my interest. He was the only person who had anything in common with me, and he messaged me. He said I had a nice smile. I didn't know what to say so my friend Sadie helped me write my first message. We messaged back and forth on the website a few times, but suddenly he stopped.

A week later, I looked at my emails and found that he had actually messaged me, but due to some hang up on the website, I hadn't seen the message. Fortunately, that last message contained his phone number, and feeling bad that I hadn't responded - he probably thought I decided I didn't like him - I texted him. We texted for six hours. I generally didn't like texting, but I realized this was an exception.

When we later talked on the phone, we also talked for hours. The only real disappointment was that I thought he would have a Southern accent since he came from Louisiana, but even though he had a slight twang, there wasn't any of that Deep South in his accent. Otherwise, we hit it off.

I made it clear in my first conversation with him that I was not looking for a fling but something permanent. He was too. I'm surprised that we cleared the air about that at the beginning, but I've learned that when you meet the right person, you can break a few of the rules if you can make things work.

We had no shortage of things to talk about, which was a novelty for me in the dating world. Finally, I had someone who wasn't always quiet and brooding. He talked about politics, science, etc., and I admired his intelligence. He also had a very different background from me, which made it even more interesting. He had wild stories about his whole family, who suffered from various mental illnesses, which were not helped by the drugs that they consumed. He himself had had his own struggles, though not drugs, because he said he didn't want to be like his parents. When I made it to the monastery, I was in a completely different and unfocused frame of mind, much to the annoyance of everyone else, who was single (in fact, quite a few of them are still single).

I did not declare a specific relationship status because we hadn't met in person. He was in Louisiana, and I was in Oregon. But after five months of talking, he came up and did not leave. I knew he was the right one because I am normally an anxious person, but the idea of marrying him gave me peace, and I figured this was pretty big, so I knew I would marry him. Besides that, he had already tricked me into giving him my ring size. After less than a year, we were trying to set a wedding date, even though he hadn't proposed yet. We wanted to marry after just a few months of dating. But apparently, weddings require planning, and it helps to have an engagement ring first before the wedding ring. A year and a half after we met, we were engaged, and seven years later, we are still married.