Empty, black eyes stare off into a clear, beautiful sky. Bright, blue feathers shine in the sunlight, stuck to wings that would never again get the chance to kiss the clouds. In the distance, the remaining birds were chirping a soft dirge, breaking the morning silence.
Meow.
The sudden closeness of sound is jarring, instantly pulling me out of my trance. My eyes snap down to the black figure rubbing itself across my stiff legs. As soon as we lock eyes, another sound pierces through the cotton balls permanently stuck in my ear drums.
Meow.
My eyes well up. Suddenly, I can’t take it anymore. Suddenly, my promise means nothing. “You are out of here,” I say to the black blur at my feet. “This is the last straw.”
Meow.
***********************************************************
I sit up, ignoring the cacophony of grinding bones as I do so. It takes a moment for my brain to focus on the fact that I am no longer dreaming. Unfortunate, too, as I was having a particularly acrobatic dream about my late husband, things I could never even think about doing without a doctor’s note anymore. I look at the table next to my bed and see the phone screen alight, my granddaughter's name barely readable in the harsh, green blur.
“Hello?” I groan, sleep barely having left my voice.
“Nana? Oh, I’m so sorry! Did I wake you?”
I laugh, dryly, not really awake enough to mean it just yet. “That’s okay, sweetheart, it's just an afternoon nap. Is everything okay?”
There was silence on the other end of the line. “Hello?” I prompted, reaching for my glasses to read the transcription screen on the telephone. When I first received it, I hated the gift. I had thought it was a discourteous reminder of my old age. In fact, it took me nearly a year to finally get the damn thing set up. Now, I use it nearly every day. Why make life harder? There were no words up on the screen, so it wasn’t just my poor hearing to blame. "Honey, what's going on?" I asked again, unable to keep the worry from tainting my voice.
“Look, I know you didn’t want to hear about the cat anymore, but she’s started getting aggressive with the staff and she doesn’t want anyone to touch her at all or anything and I am just worried about her and I think they might put her on the kill list soon if someone isn’t going to pick her up," she paused. "And I don’t think anyone is going to want to take her home if she keeps acting like this.” Her words all tumbled out at once, wavering ever so slightly as she tried holding back her tears. It absolutely shattered my heart.
I took in a deep breath, trying to hold back a sigh. I was being selfish. I promised Richard I would take care of her, and I let my distaste get in the way of that promise. “She won’t let anyone near her?” I asked, hoping for any chance that she would be going somewhere, anywhere where she would be loved, something I wasn’t sure I was still capable of giving her.
“I mean, she will let me touch her, but she growls the whole time. If anyone else touches her, she goes straight to biting.” Her voice started picking up in pace again as she continued talking, “She drew blood on one of the other techs today, and I think she’s gonna try to cause a big stink, and if she does that then they’re definitely going to put her on the list. Should I try to take her home with me? I mean she’s growling at me, but since she’s trying to bite everyone else I have to-”
“Honey… Sarah!” I yell, it’s the only thing that can stop her in the middle of her ramblings. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m going to come get her.” I said it without even thinking. It’s not like we even liked each other, but there was something that was keeping me from just abandoning her at the shelter. Left to fend for herself, scared and alone with all those strangers.
“What? Nana, no. It’s okay, I can take her home. I know there’s a reason that you wanted to leave her here. Please, let me take her.”
“No,” I say, my tone leaking with the firmness that I don't have to lean on as much as I did in my youth. “I promise, it’s okay. I’ll be up there soon.” I hang up the phone, rub the sleep from my eyes and aching muscles, and sigh as I shuffle to the closet to get ready.
Half an hour later, I am at the animal shelter. My clothes, mismatched and probably dirty. My maid hasn’t come yet this week, don’t judge me. The relief on Sarah’s face alone makes it worth coming. She pretends like she doesn’t know who I am, but that’s understandable. She has already taken a big risk by taking in an animal that is known to be aggressive.
I return the favor, pretending that I have never been in this shelter, pretending that I am looking for a companion. I ask the front desk if there are any animals that are at risk. Sarah, out of professional kindness, tells me to come around the back, to show me what they have to offer.
Before I can even pretend to look at the other animals, I hear a familiar sound.
Mrow.
Her pupils are wide, as if on the hunt. Another one of the techs muses that it seems as if it is meant to be. I think her name is Naomi, but I can't remember, and I don't really listen to what she had to say. She goes on to tell me about all the dangerous behaviors this cat seems to exhibit. She warns me, as I get closer to the cage, that this cat is extremely dangerous. That she has clearly shown that she doesn’t want to be adopted. But I know otherwise. She doesn’t want to be adopted because all she wants is to go home.
I start talking to her. Trying not to show that I know her. I know her in ways that no one else understands. We both know loss, together, like no other. If anyone else were to be watching, it would seem like I had made my decision with no hesitation. I suppose, if you were to summarize the situation, it would be true. There was no hesitation. I already knew this was the only animal that I would be leaving with. Suddenly, it was so much harder to lie.
“You know,” I say. “My husband named our family cat Mildred.”
Mrrrow.
“He always said that he named her that so he could always tell me he loved me, even if I wasn’t there to say it to.” I could feel my eyes welling up, even though I was straining with the force of willing them to stop. I don’t think even Sarah knew about the complicated relationship between myself and her grandfather’s beloved cat. The more Mildred heard my voice, the louder she would get, rubbing herself violently against the steel bars.
MEOW.
“To be honest, neither of us have ever been very fond of each other," I tittered. "Every time I would get near her, she would start growling at me. God forbid my husband was around, then she would start swatting,” that forced a laugh out of me. I was immediately jerked out of the present into a memory that I thought had been long gone, along with so many others. “She was so tiny when we first got her. We actually found her on the way to our 50th anniversary dinner. She was out on the side of the road, about to stumble into traffic.” The tears were falling freely now, with the sudden intrusion of happy memories. “My husb-”
I couldn’t even finish the story. The lump in my throat that I hadn’t noticed before grew without warning, leaving me in such a state that ugly, gasping sobs were soon to follow. I took a deep breath, trying to ease even a fraction of the tightness in my chest. “Sarah?” I ask, forgetting the fact that I’m not supposed to know her, and not really caring much when I remembered. Her eyes were just as damp as mine. “Do you remember how much I hated the nickname your grandfather always insisted on calling me?”
She choked back a sob, nodding shakily.
I smiled, knowing in that moment, without a doubt, that I couldn’t leave her here. That I had to take her back to probably the only home she’s ever known. I shuffled over to the cage, extending my hand out to her, ignoring the muted protests of the techs shouting their warnings against what I was already doing. One of them reached out to try and stop me, but Sarah held her back. We both knew that Mildred wouldn’t hurt me.
“Hi, Millie,” I whispered.
MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!
“Let’s go home.”
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1 comment
Caitlin, A good take on the prompt. I like the dynamics of the relationship between the woman and the cat and the eventual resignation they're meant to be together. Well done. Other than the cat's jealousy and swatting the woman away when her master was alive, it would have been cool to know what else kept the woman and the cat from liking each other. Well done and welcome to Reedsy :)
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