And You Expected Better?

The highway was unending, just a clogged artery stretching to the horizon.  An endless mass of cars oozed along the route like steel snails.  They trudged toward the nothing in the distance.  Pale hills flanked them on both sides.  

One car crawled along, slow as the rest.  It had no distinguishing features, save the miserable faces inside it, staring out.  Two middle-aged adults rode the front.  An elderly man, and two teenagers sat in the back.  

They all wore nametags on their drab clothes:  ‘Reggie’, ‘Rashida', ‘Faye’, ‘Cooper’, ‘Grandpa’. 

Each person felt the cold outside piercing through them. One-by-one they shivered and tried to warm themselves.  Reggie blew hot air into his hands.  Rashida rubbed her hands together.  Grandpa stamped his feet.  Cooper clapped energetically.  Faye stroked her arms and legs, trying to generate heat.  

“Cold.  Didn’t expect it to be so cold here,” Grandpa said.  “Did you expect it to be cold here?”

“I don’t even know where here is,” Reggie whined.  “So how could I expect it to be anything?”

“Fair point.  Don’t know why I asked the question,” Grandpa said.  “Just didn’t expect this cold.”

 “I’m still wondering about my question.  So I’ll ask again.  What is this?  I mean, seriously, what the hell is this?!” Reggie barked.  He gestured out the window at the strange rolling hills.

“How many times are you going to ask that?” Rashida groaned.  

“I’ll ask as many times as it takes to get the answer.”

“You’ve asked it over and over, starting ten hours ago when we began this trip,” she said. 

“Ten hours ago?  It feels like twenty hours ago.  Or thirty.  Feels like days actually…And what’s the answer?” he asked.

“The answer is the same now as it was then.  I.  Don’t.  Know,” she intoned.  Rashida checked her hair in the mirror.  

“Oh, I know you don’t.  But aren’t you wondering?  Aren’t you?  Maybe just a little curious what we’re doing here?”

“I’m trying not to think about it.”  Rashida pulled her hair up and tied it back.  Reggie sighed.

“We’re stuck in this damned car, on this dreadful road, in this horrific traffic.  And it’s brutally cold to boot!  What else is there to think about?” he growled. 

 “Other.  Things.  When I’m in an unpleasant situation, I’ve taught myself not to dwell on it.  I find a safe space.”

Cooper and Faye listened to the argument from the back seat. Next to them, Grandpa leaned forward to interject.  

“You know, I’ve read about that,” Grandpa said.  “Folks today don’t want to face reality head-on.  They refuse to acknowledge anything unpleasant.  Whole culture would rather avoid confrontation, avoid conflict.  But conflict finds ‘em.  And then they can’t deal…”  Grandpa’s white whiskers invaded the mirror where Rashida was admiring her own jade eyes and pouty lips.

“Nobody was talking to you, Grandpa,” Rashida said to the mirror.  “I was explaining to Reggie…”

“You were explaining nothing helpful,” Reggie snapped.  “And my name is not, Reggie.  It’s Dwight.  I’m Dwight.”

“Your nametag says, ‘Reggie.’  So ‘Reggie’ is what I’m calling you,” Rashida clarified with a shrug.  Reggie frowned at the nametag on his chest.  He shook his head in disgust.  

“I know what it freaking says, but that’s not my freaking name!  My name is Dwight!  Can you call me, ‘Dwight’?  Can you do that?  Is it too much to ask?”  He was sweating now.

“Sure, Reggie…I mean, Dwight.  Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.  It’s just…your nametag…I don’t know why we have new names here.”

“It’s to make us forget who we were,” Grandpa suggested.  “Maybe forgetting is helpful here.”

 “I don’t know,” Rashida continued.  “But if it makes you feel any better, my real name is not Rashida.  It’s Beth.  Am I demanding that you call me, ‘Beth’?  No.”

“Just go with the flow,” Grandpa said.  “Play it cool, Guys and Gals.  We have a long ride ahead of us.”     

“Yes we do and what is with this nutzo traffic?” Reggie boomed.  “I mean, I have seen some pretty terrible traffic in my day.  I lived on the damn L.I.E., for goshsakes…never saw anything like this.  This is just hellish, like some kind of sick joke.  This isn’t a road.  It’s a torture device.  Nightmare Route to Nowhere.  And I don’t mean to complain non-stop to you all, but…I can barely keep my eyes open.  Problem is, I can’t close them either.”

“What is the L.I.E.?” Rashida asked.

“Long Island Expressway, also known as the Big Lie,” Reggie said. 

“Just focus on the road, Dad,” Cooper said from the back seat.  “You’re driving this bus.  We want to arrive alive.”

“I’m not driving.  Do you see a steering wheel up here?  I’m a passenger, same as you.  And I'm not your dad!”

“I know, Dad.  But it feels weird calling you, ‘Reggie’, especially because that’s not your name…” 

“Everyone can call me, Grandpa,” Grandpa announced.  “Name’s Norton, but call me Grandpa,” he told Faye.  He flashed her a kindly smile from under his whiskers.  She rolled her eyes. 

“But you’re not my grandpa.  You’re nothing to me.”  Faye glanced around the interior of the car.  “God, I hate this.  Am I the only one who feels weird driving somewhere with a bunch of strangers?  It’s just awkward.  It’s painfully awkward.  And you’re not my grandpa.”

“I know I’m not,” Grandpa said gently.  “I only meant that you can call me that, if you want to, if it made you more comfortable.”  

“It doesn’t,” Faye stated flatly.  She crossed her legs and hugged herself.  Grandpa observed her tense body language.   

“You’re a lovely young lady.  I would’ve been proud to be your grandpa.  I sure would’ve.  For what it’s worth.”  

Now Faye twisted her body away from the elderly man and huffed.  

“Not my grandpa.  My grandpa was handsome and dignified, like a ship captain. You’re a hot mess with hairy ears.”

Grandpa winced at this.  His shoulders slumped.  He disengaged and stared out the window.  Faye saw that she’d broken him.  This pleased her.  

“I’m Martin.  I mean, Cooper, but Martin was my real name,” Cooper said to Faye.  “What was your real name?”   

“Kayla.”

“I bet you were one of the popular girls in school,” he said staring at the floor. 

“I was.  How’d you know that?” she asked.

“I could just tell.”  He managed to look her in the eye for a moment.  She rewarded him with her best smile.  

“Yeah, I definitely was in the popular group.  We were the most popular, but we weren’t mean to anyone.  We were all in Dance together, and all very cute.  Everyone adored us, so we got whatever we wanted.  My parents adored me and gave me everything.  My life was amazing actually.  I had it all…And I never appreciated it.  Just spent my time moping, whining, complaining…What was I complaining about?  I couldn’t even tell you now.  I was just a fool, an ungrateful little fool.  The truth is, I couldn’t have been happier.”

“I was happy too,” Cooper said.  “I wasn’t popular, but that didn’t matter.  I had one best friend, one partner in crime.  That was all I needed.  We had more fun than anyone.”  Cooper stared at the pale hills out the window.  “God, I miss him.  I loved him.  I didn’t even realize how lucky I was.  And my mom.  Oh my, she loved me and tried so hard to do right by me.  I never loved her back how she deserved.  Never learned how.  At least I should’ve said it more.  I could’ve said it more.  Gee wiz, why didn’t I say it more?  Did I even say it once?  Did I leave without saying it?  Life felt good.  It felt so good, probably because I had good people in my life.”

“Good people I don’t know much about,” Reggie said.  “Bad people, well that’s a different story.  Met a lot of those in my life, experts at making misery.  But I did have my favorite places that never let me down:  Pizza Brew Pub, Meadow Twin Cinemas, Nathans’ Arcade, Giants Stadium… those fantastic places, they kept me going, made life worth living.” 

“We owned ‘Cedar Street Soda Fountain and Candy.’  It took up a whole block and had carved tin ceilings and the longest marble counter you ever did see,” Grandpa said.  “Used to make the best milkshake in Indiana.  The children wasted away their days on those stools.  It was a grand old time.  My word, what a stupendous life.  I lived every minute.  I loved ever minute.”   

“Yes, we all know now how precious life was, how happy we were, how much we all had…” Rashida said.

“I hate to ask this, but…what do we have now?” Faye asked, pulling her legs into her chest and rocking herself.

“We have the road,” Grandpa said.  

A sense of dread came over them.  Every face in the car wilted to full gloom.

“Just the road?  That’s it?” Cooper wailed, his voice trembling.  “How come there aren’t any exits on this highway?  Shouldn’t there be exits or off-ramps?  Something?  What about rest stops?  There’s no rest stops.  Whoever heard of a highway with no rest stops?”  

His mouth quivered, but no more words came out.  He was in shock.  Faye grasped his hand and rubbed it, trying to calm the shaking boy.  He appeared numb, impervious to her efforts.

“I can’t help him,” Faye piped.  “He doesn’t feel my hand holding his.  I’m right here, Cooper.  Why can’t he feel me?”

“It doesn’t work that way in this place,” Reggie explained. 

“So now you’re an expert on this place?” Rashida quipped.  “A few minutes ago you were all questions.”

“Well, I’ve since concluded this place has no answers.”  

“I have a question,” Faye said.  “Where’s Heaven?  Where in Hell is Heaven?” 

“There’s none of that.  No paradise pit stops, no nightmare stair.  No, Sir.  There’s only the road.  Just the road,” Grandpa told them. 

“So we just drive?  And drive?  For the rest of eternity?  That’s all there is?” Rashida asked.  

“That’s all there is, Babe,” Reggie chirped.  “This is the hand we’ve been dealt.  Read ‘em and weep.”  

“This is death,” Faye told them. She curled up in her seat and her eyes turned to stone.   

“Well, I hate it!” Cooper squawked at the bleak hills out the window.  “You hear me? I hate it. I want life…beautiful, wonderful life.  That's what I want. Not this…this road. He hugged himself and shivered.  “It's cold.  Never felt such cold...”  

“It’s Death…and you expected better?” Grandpa said.  

With that, the car fell silent.  No one spoke for the rest of the trip.