Denial

  Katherina waited for John for two hours on the park bench. There is no sign of him. She is becoming anxious and her fingers are trembling at the edges. Within a very short time the sun will disappear. She becomes dubious in the dark, mainly when she is alone. It’s been six months since they got engaged. Looking at the ring she almost cried. When the tear left her eye, slid across her skin and fell on earth obeying gravity, she felt touched on her shoulder by another person’s hand. Her whole body agitated for that surprising touch.

“You haven’t changed a bit.” Said John removing his hand from her and moving across the bench to sit next to her.

“You know me.” She replied. Looking at the orange sky she sighed. “How can we stop the time?”

John looked at her. She remained still looking at the sky, being inattentive to John. “Why do you want to stop the time?” John asked her.

She moved her eyes slightly across the sky like she was missing the events of the evening.

John knows she is not going to answer. “Remember the time when we first met?” he asked, hoping she would look into his eyes. But he failed to earn her sight. “How long will you take to erase me from your memories?”

As the words passed into her ears, her heart missed a beat. She finally looked at him. “you can’t do this to me.'' She cried.

“I may not. But you have to.” John replied. The evening turned cold. She is holding back herself from the possibility of living without John for months. She is protecting herself from the darkness of loneliness.

She stood from the bench quickly, walked a few steps and held her hands folding against her chest. She told herself that John is not going to leave her to slow down her heart.

The music of birds chirping distracted her and the laughs of the noisy kids in the distance remembered her future plans. This is not even closer to her dreams. The winds passed on her face trying to calm her down. She felt like nature cared much more about her than John.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“What happened is neither in my hands nor yours. It is the universe's way of saying things don't happen like we always plan.”

“Why did I meet you, John? Why?”

They both are in different parts of the world. John stood to reach Katherine. She stepped back to move far away from him. He stopped as soon as he learnt her behavior.

“When did loving someone become a crime?” She covered her eyes with her arms while sobbing.

John waited till her mind got a clearer image of the moment. The night is emerging. They stood there without knowing it. Katherine wished for a voice to answer all her questions which are killing her from inside.

“Tell me there is some way for us to be together. Why should we suffer? Why should I suffer?”

“I may not have an answer to that question. I may not have answers to any of your questions.”

“Then why are you here?” she screamed.

Her shoulder met another hand from behind. She turned back swiftly to find the person who penetrated her space.

It’s her friend, Susan. “What are you doing here?”

“not... not... nothing.” “I was just...” Katherine is unable to complete her sentence.

Susan didn’t care for her explanation. “Let’s get you home.” She slowly walked Susan to home.

“Don’t forget to take your pills and take some rest.” Susan advised her before leaving.

Katherine took a long and cold shower before going to bed.

It’s 8 o’clock. Katherine never went to bed this early. John lay in bed next to her. Like in the park she paid more attention to the sky ignoring John, she looked at the slow rotating fan, only to ignore John.

“Can we continue where we stopped?” asked john.

“I don’t want to.”

“Neither want to. But why don’t you stop believing that we are meant to be together.”

A tear left her eye sliding below the temple.  

“You are killing me john.” The very thought of us separating from each other makes me panic.

John remained silent. Katherine is unable to find the words to describe her pain. Most painful part is that she can’t process the past like everyone else. She denied the time and truth.

“I have to go.” Said john.

“where?”

“Somewhere, where I’m supposed to be. I can’t stay here with you forever. You have to stop hoping for me to wipe your tears. Those days are past behind us.”

“Please hold my hand, John. Tell me, it’s a dream.”

She really hoped with all her heart that John was going to tell, he loves her.

“I have to go.”

“Please stop saying that.”

“Don’t hold your tears for long. It ain’t good to you.”

“life without you ain’t good to me.”

Moments passed. John couldn’t convince her anymore. Katherine could kill anyone to change her life.

“I have to go.” He said again.

She couldn’t control anymore. “I can ask you another thousand times to stay.”

“I have to go.”

“But I love you John. Please don’t go.”

“I have to go.”

“Why should you?”

“I have to go.”

“You can’t do this to me.”

“I have to go.”

She can’t control her tears anymore. She cried while screeching.

John watched her until the last tear from her eyes passed out.

After sobbing for an hour, she looked at John.

He opened his mouth only to say, “I have to go.’

“Then please go. What's holding you back?”

“It’s you who is holding me back. I died three months ago. You kept denying the fact that I’m no more. You denied your friends, family and the whole world. There is no John. John died. But you’re not. You will realize it, when you accept the truth.