The Choice

Trigger Warning: Contains Themes of Teen Pregnancy and Abortion

“Are you certain, Dr. Lovel?”

“Yes, we ran it twice. It was positive.” 

“I see. So where do we go from here?”

“Well, now you have a choice to make. Here, Hannah. This pamphlet outlines your options for terminating. And this one explains how your body will change if you choose to carry to term. If you have any questions, you can call my office. I know this is a lot to take in.” 

“Thank you. What do you think I should do?”

“Hannah, this is a family matter now. Thank you, Doctor. And who would you recommend we consult about the abortion?” 

“There’s a number on the back of the first pamphlet. There.” 

“Thank you. Come along, Hannah.”

“Yes, Mother.” 

“I just don’t see how this could happen, Hannah. Do you want to explain it to me?”

“Well you see, when a boy loves a girl very much-”

“I’m not in the mood for jokes.”

“Well, when I asked you to explain pregnancy to me, that was all you said.” 

“That’s something you learn in school. I shouldn’t have to explain it. Besides, you’re far too young to-” 

“I was absent that day, remember? I had the flu and you said you’d go over what I missed in health class, but you never did.” 

“Please, Hannah, that was three years ago. There’s no need to dig up the past.” 

“I was simply explaining that, if I had some proper lessons about sex and birth control, this wouldn’t have happened.” 

“So now you’re blaming me? You screwed up your own life, Hannah. You can’t go around putting all the blame on me. I’ve done all I could for you as a mother. I’ve given you the best schooling, paid for your gymnastics lessons, bought you all your nice clothes…”

“Yes, it must be so hard being a mother-”

“I don’t appreciate that tone, young lady. It is hard being a mother. It’s a task you’re much too immature for. That’s why, first thing tomorrow, we are going to book an appointment with the abortion clinic.” 

“What if I don’t want to get an abortion?” 

“You’re sixteen, Hannah. You can barely take care of yourself. How are you going to take care of a baby too? No. At this point in your life, you should be going to prom, applying for colleges, and walking across the stage for your graduation. And instead, your suggesting dropping out of school and raising a child on the government’s dollar since you won’t be able to get a job.” 

“I didn’t say I’d drop out of school I just-”

“No Hannah, I won’t hear of it. I know what’s best for you. Trust me.” 

“But-”

“End of discussion, Hannah.”

“Yes, Mother.” 

“Hey.”

“Hey! What did the doctor say?” 

“The negative test was false. Turns out I am pregnant after all.” 

“Really? Wow. When you got that negative test this morning, I thought we had lost the baby-”

“Wait, you’re happy?” 

“Well, yeah. I mean, I know I didn’t react the best way when you first told me, but I was scared. I’m sorry. I know you’re scared too. But the thought of being a dad is kind of growing on me. I even started thinking of names.” 

“Well, you might want to stop. Mom says I have to get an abortion.”

“What do you mean? It’s your body, your choice, right?”

“No, I think it’s her roof her rules. Also, we can’t see each other anymore. I’m grounded for a month. And when I’m un-grounded, I have to be home before dark ever night, weekends too.” 

“God. I guess she was really mad, huh?”

“Furious. She spent half the car ride home giving me the silent treatment and then she started screaming at me as soon as we got in the house. She only stopped because my Dad came home and I don’t think she wants him to know about the baby?”

“Why not?” 

“Because he doesn’t believe in abortions. I think, anyway. I know I heard him complain about it before the last election. Said an unborn life is still a life or something like that.” 

“And what do you think?” 

“About abortions? I think sometimes they’re necessary and a girl should get to decide.”

“And this time?”

“Well, Mom seems to think it’s necessary. She says the baby will ruin my life if I keep it. I won’t have any friends anymore or graduate or get a job or anything.” 

“Well, that’s stupid. You know my cousin Veronica?”

“Yeah.”

“Well she has a best friend who got pregnant in high school and had the baby in her senior year and everyone loved him. Like, they all fussed over him together and babysat and brought him with them to the mall and stuff. And he’s six now and doing fine and his mom is an accountant or something, I think she makes good money.”

“I couldn’t be an accountant. I hate math.” 

“Yeah, I know, Han. But the point is you could finish school and then get a job doing something, you know? And I bet Kelsey and Kerry will babysit for you all the time. Heck, I’m sure they’ll be over the moon when you find out and then get in a fight over who gets to be the baby’s godmother.” 

“Yeah, I can see that happening. God, I don’t know who I would pick. Maybe it will be twins and they can both be a godmother.”

“Woah, slow down. I’ve barely wrapped my head around one baby, I don’t know if I can handle two!”

“But you can handle the one? I mean, you want to help out and be a part of the baby’s life?” 

“Well, I mean, yeah. It might be hard if your mom says we’ve got to stop seeing each other, but I think after you ask her to help change a few dirty diapers she’d change her tune.”

“You’re forgetting one thing though.”

“What’s that?”

“She’s making me get an abortion.” 

“She can’t force you. I don’t think that’s legal.”

“Then what? I tell her no and hope she doesn’t kick me out of the house?”

“Your dad won’t let her kick you out.” 

“My Dad might not be okay with abortions, but he’s most certainly not okay with teen pregnancy or sex before marriage either.” 

“I’ll follow whatever rules he wants to give me. Six feet apart. No closed doors. Whatever. I just want to be allowed over to see you. And our baby. I want to take responsibility for my own actions. I promise, Hannah. I’m here to see it through.” 

“You really want me to keep the baby, don’t you, Derek?”

“Yeah, I guess I do. I’ll do everything I can to be a good dad. And a good boyfriend. Promise.” 

“I know you would. I just, I don’t know if I’m ready to be a mom.”

“You’ve got seven more months to get ready. I’m sure the baby will grow on you. Well, I guess it’s going to be growing in you, really.”

“Hannah? A word?”

“Huh? Oh, umm, Derek? I got to go. My dad wants to speak with me.” 

“Got it. Good luck. I love you, Hannah. And I’m really really excited about the baby.”

“I love you too, Derek. I’ll talk to you later.”

“So I spoke with your mother.”

“Oh. Did she tell you?”

“Yes, but I think only because I saw the papers first. Were you planning on telling me?” 

“Mom didn’t want me too. I think she’s already decided what to do about it.” 

“Yes, she told me that too. Honestly, Hannah, I expected more of you.” 

“You don’t want me to get the abortion?”

“Well, no. But I mean I expected more out of you, period. You shouldn’t have gotten yourself into this situation, period. And when I see Derek again-”

“Stop, Dad. It wasn’t Derek’s fault. It was my choice as much as his.” 

“Well, then you’ve both made irresponsible decisions. And it sounds like you’re going to keep making them according to the last bit of that phone call I overheard. He wants you to keep the baby, does he?”

“Yes, but you just said you didn’t want me to get an abortion. Aren’t you on our side?”

“Sides? There aren’t sides here, Hannah. This is about a life, a new and vulnerable life growing inside you. And your life, too. Raising the baby means giving up the rest of your teenage years. It means struggling through college and having to work to pay the bills. And it means a lot of support from your mother and I that frankly, I’m not sure we can give.” 

“Derek says he’ll help.”

“Yes, well, teenage boys say a lot of things. Has Derek had any experience with kids? With changing diapers? Bottle-feeding? Being woken up at all hours of the night?” 

“No, but-”

“You’ve been together for what, eight months now? You’re going have to double your relationship length to even make it to when the baby is born, and that’s not even the hard part yet. Teenage love is the most fickle kind.” 

“We can make it, Dad. He’s a good person and he wants to try and be a father.” 

“There’s no try with this, Hannah. You either know you can rise to the challenge, or you don’t. And if you don’t know, then I suggest you look at other options.” 

“But you don’t want me to abort.”

“And abortion isn’t the only other option. I’d suggest adoption. Carry the baby to term, and then have another couple adopt him as soon as he’s born.” 

“Just give the baby away? That’s what you’re suggesting?” 

“Not just give it away. Adoptions are carefully screened and planned. We can talk to a good adoption agency and some even let you have a say in what sort of family the baby goes to. That way the baby can be raised by adults who have been wanting a child but are unable to have one of their own.” 

“But dad, aren’t there a ton of kids in foster care that never get adopted?”

“Kids, yes, but most babies get adopted. I have a number for an adoption agency that you can talk to when you’re ready. Just think about it.” 

“And you think adoption is better than raising the baby myself?”

“I know you have good intentions Hannah, but kids take a lot of time and money. I’m sure you’ll be a great mom one day. But at sixteen, you don’t need that sort of responsibility. I think it would be in the best interest of the child to go to a different family.” 

“I suppose you have an opinion too, don’t you, Cookie?”

“Woooof”

“Yeah. I thought so. I just don’t know what to do. If I go Mom’s route, life can go back to normal and no one will know the difference. Or, if I adopt the baby out like Dad wants, I’ll have to go through the pregnancy and that would be embarrassing, and all my friends would judge me, except Kerry and Kelsey of course, but they might judge me for giving the baby way after nine months. 

“Plus, there’s Derek. I think it would break his heart if I gave the baby away. It would also break his heart if I got an abortion, but at least that way he wouldn’t get attached. And I guess I wouldn’t either. Dad and Mom are both right about one thing, I don’t know if I’m ready to be a mom.” 

“Woof!”

“You think I’d be a good Mom? Well thanks, Cookie. At least you on my side. But Dad’s right, there are no sides right now, are there? There’s just me and a baby. And this god-awful choice. Oh, Cookie, what would you choose? If you weren’t fixed, I mean, and you could actually have puppies.”

“Woof!”

“Hmm, a decision that fast? I wish I was as confident as you.”