Childish War

Lately I’ve been having this recurring dream, it’s happened so often I can even call it a memory if I wanted to; I suppose I will. The feeling of the metal table against my back sent shivers down my spine, both due to the cold and the fact that I was strapped down to it. I could hear various screaming in the room, as well as sounds of struggling. Turning my head to the side, I see a boy whose face I don’t know, but somehow...I can’t really explain it. 

I hear footsteps enter the room, and when I turn to see the figure, the dream ends.

“Mana gates...it’s true that the term is a bit of a misnomer.” 

Setting down the book he was reading to me aside, his tired expression held a soft warmth to it. Looking aside out the window, he gazed out into the distance, as though he was seeing someone off. Somehow, it was sort of sad. At the time though, I was more focused on the question I asked him than his expression; looking back, I was sadly a bit of an insensitive child. 

I ended up asking this question late at night as he was about to put me to bed, father had just recently told me about how magic is used by mages, and the role of mana. The lecture was informative, but I ended up thinking about it for a long time afterwards. “Why was it called a mana gate?” that thought ended up boiling inside me for hours on end, and I was having a hard time falling asleep; father ended up coming to my room that day to read me a bedtime story, and it was then that I asked him this question.

Looking at me with an expression that spoke, “you stayed up this late for that?” yet he put a smile on as he seemed almost glad. Whether it was because he remembered something, or because it is something he will remember, I hadn’t the foggiest idea. But before I could ever figure it out, he opened his mouth.

“I asked the same question as you when I was young, and apparently the term came from back when little was known about the way mana worked. People first thought of it as a god’s gift to humanity, so the source of one’s mana was thought to be a gate to the heavens. But later once mages started to actually research anatomy in living beings, they learned that the organ is really just converting the ether present in the air into a form the body can sustain.” he dictated the words towards me. Voicing my thoughts, he continued.

“It’s kind of hard to change the terminology once it’s already commonly used. There is a group that wants to call it an ether converter, but I honestly prefer the term mana gate.” 

“Why?” I voiced my curiosity aloud, and in response he smiled.

“Magic is cool right?.” he said something odd, which confused me for a couple of seconds, but I thought over it for a couple seconds before nodding my head in agreement. “It is cool right? It’s like it opens the door to a completely different world.” he crossed his arms, taking a stance of pride. Whether it was in his daughter’s answer, or some unknown factor I never learned, I never could tell. “Don’t you think something that allows you to do that deserves to be called a gate.”

I nodded in understanding at his explanation, and he seemed satisfied that I took it this way. Those words ended up sticking with me for the rest of my life, just as they did to him; somehow though, I got the feeling he never truly believed the words. I found it odd at the time, but looking back, maybe that was exactly why he was glad that I understood the words he spoke that day.

“Watch where you’re going!” I observed that the floor of the hallway was quite hard. Well, I wouldn’t know personally, it’s just that the sound of the other kid hitting the ground seems a bit painful. 

“S-sorry,” I don’t really understand why he apologized; he was standing still, so the fault lies with the one who intentionally pushed him over. Well, I understand why he said it; mages take great pride in their long lineages, since families of magicians are able to develop personal magic circles that synchronize with their magic gates. And the farther the generation goes along, the more efficient they become. Some people manage to take a little too much pride in their lineage, and not enough pride in their character.

I understand the reasoning, I just don’t understand why it is this way. No, I guess it would be wrong to say that I don’t understand, it’s that I refuse to understand. By the time I finished my thought, I realized that I was already standing between the two.

“Oh, Sena Altair. What brings the daughter of the renowned Corpse Magus here today?” The boy opposing me spoke with an air of grace, but he couldn’t hide the disdain held in his voice with that sort of flowery language; well, he wasn’t even trying in the first place.

“What brings the king of idiots here today?” His smile didn’t drop in the slightest, but I could tell that he was unamused at my reply. At least that gave me a sliver of joy. 

“Could you at least try to act like a proper magician? Well it would be hard for someone like you, all things considered.”

“Could you at least act like a person? Can’t you apologize to the kid you just knocked over?”

“You mean the cretin who just abandoned you while we were having this conversation?” He points behind me, to which I turn to find an empty space, where the boy who I was trying to find justice for had already left. “Since he’s already left, I don’t need to apologize to anyone, not like I needed to apologize in the first place.”

I found myself at a loss for words as my train of thought ended up being interrupted. Turning back towards Sal, I continued my opposition. “Just apologize.” 

“Fine, I apologize that you had to see that sight. Next time I will make sure to be out of your way.”

“What’s that supposed to mean.” Holding his head to mock me, he took an expression as if saying, “it can’t be helped, guess I need to explain it to her.”

“I’m giving you courtesy due to your father's standing; he is one of the holders of the title “Grand Magus” after all, despite the fact that he doesn’t have magical talent. His research has in fact proven quite substantial into developing new spells, and I do respect that.”

“Do you have a point to all this?” He shrugs his shoulders as his smirk just doesn’t seem to feel any less plastered upon his face.

“All I’m saying is, if it were not for his results, I’d be treating you the same, a first circle magician who can’t even use her own father’s unique spell; if I were to consider the nature of his research as well, I’d treat you even worse.” Putting a hand on my shoulder, he passed by me whispering into my ear. “No living mage wants to associate with the mortician who dissects their bodies. Why do you think your classmate abandoned you?” I opened my mouth to retort, but I couldn’t find words to reply with. 

Leaving me behind, Sal left one last word of advice. “Sena, you should look out for yourself more,” looking back towards him, I ended up understanding his implication .

“After all, no one will look out for you.”

I tried to put Sal’s words out of my head throughout the school day, but I couldn’t. As I was mulling over my thoughts, I found myself outside the front gate of our home. A tall stone structure that would tower over all the other buildings in the city, yet the tower is so far from the city as a whole that it’s figure seemed small despite it belonging to one of the 11 grand magus’; compared to Sal’s family’s tower, it was rather quaint. 

“I just soured my own mood didn’t I.” Shaking my head, I put my hand on the keystone to enter in. The first floor was neat and tidy,it always ends up messy though. The sight of papers spread out across the room is always a sight to see, but we always clean at night. I checked the lab as well, since father wasn’t there either, he must still be out at the Grand Magus Meeting. Taking this opportunity, I press a brick in the wall, turn a paperweight on the desk, and various other miscellaneous tasks until the sound of a mechanism activating, resulting in a small passageway appearing within the wall. 

I always thought that the walls took too much space, so I ended up figuring out there was a passageway built in. It still is a waste of space though. Those thoughts often passed my mind as I continued to walk down the staircase leading towards the basement, the same room as my dream. Well, all it holds is a gravestone, a table and a jar. It surprised me at first, but I got used to it. I still haven’t told father that I knew though. After a short prayer, I went back to the lab and closed off the room. There wasn’t any greater meaning to the act, but I felt that it was necessary. I heard the door opening at this point, so I went over to greet Father.

“I’m going to have to spend more time in the lab, sorry Sena, can you eat dinner on your own?”

I nodded my head once again. It’s been like this ever since the magus meeting. Usually I shouldn’t question it, but largely Father has been in much of a hurry. “Can we at least visit mother’s grave tonight?”

“...yeah.” He seemed hesitant, but I made sure to convey its necessity through my eyes. At least I think that’s what I did. “Ah, I just remembered some good news, I think I finally found a unique spell for you.”

“That is great news.”

“You should get more excited then.” I was excited, but the mood ended up souring the news; all I could manage was a half baked smile.

“How much debt are we in?”

“What do you mean Sena? How could a Grand Magus such as myself find himself in debt?”

“Unique spells aren’t just developed in a day, and not even a regular spell can be considered cheap; researching one more so, and you expect me to believe we have enough funds to support it?”

“Do you not believe in your father?”

“I believe that you’d ruin your life if it was for my sake.” He didn’t deny it, he just smiled and put on a strong face for me.

“It’s not much, nothing one or two theses can’t fix.” 

“You just published your last thesis 3 days ago.”

“And I’ll do it again, just watch me.”

“There’s only so much you can study from corpses.”

“Everything will be okay. Trust me.” Before I could even form a response, he had already picked himself up and left. 

Standing outside at the gravestone, written on it was a lonely grave of a person I never knew. Dying in childbirth, the only thing she left behind was a corpse and a poor soul; a man who lost everything. “Your husband didn’t come today huh.” I talked to the stone as I proceeded to wash it; it wasn’t very dirty, but I got used to doing this since father didn’t have time anymore. 

“You must feel real lonely huh, having a child you never knew be the one having to take care of you.” Receiving no response, I lifted myself and headed back towards the home. Closing the door behind me, I saw a bunch of papers sprawled out across the ground; the usual sight, I said to myself as I began picking up the sheets, organizing them. There wasn't anything new here, just the usual old papers. He reads through them every night to make sure he has a solid foundation, or to make sure he hasn’t looked over anything obvious. He’s probably memorized them already, but he continues to do so anyways. I feel a tinge of guilt in my chest as I place the stack onto the table. 

I decided to go to the lab, but I couldn’t see my father in sight; all I saw was a sorry man covered in blood. Turning my eyes towards the table, I see a panicked figure. That’s not a corpse, that’s a live person. “Ah, I forgot the time...sorry Sena.”

“Dad, why are you doing this?” I couldn’t form a more complex question. I knew exactly why he was doing this, but I still couldn’t fathom the fact that he did such a thing.

“...you were right, I couldn’t make another thesis from a corpse. So I tried something different this time.”

“Dad, you don’t need to do this.”

“The deadline for your tuition is coming up soon, you won’t be able to go to school if I can’t pay for it.”

“We can just take out another loan.”

“The magus association won’t let me take any more out.”

“I thought we paid it all back?”

“There’s still a limit.” 

“I can just help out with research, I don’t need to go to school. You teach me enough already.” Slamming the scalpel on the table, he holds his head.

“It isn’t about knowledge, it’s about connections. Even as a Grand Magus, I can barely get by. If you can find some well established house as an ally…”

“Then what.”

“...” he couldn’t form an answer, the thought was there, but the words all fell apart once he actually started to explain them. 

“Why do you go so far for me, I’m not even your real daughter.” He holds his head down and his voice drooped.

“Of course you’re my daughter, you’re the spitting image of your mothe-“ he still pretended to keep the facade, but I wouldn’t let him torture himself any further.

“And that’s why you took me off the streets, I’ve seen the room. You buried the real Sena years ago.” Dumbfounded he remained paralyzed as I untied the child from the bench. He hasn’t been opened up yet, but I couldn’t say the same for the person before him. The kid ran off immediately leaving the two of us behind. 

“How long have you known?”

“A couple of years ago, there wasn’t a specific date. I just figured it out.”

“I see.” Closing his eyes, he collapsed to the ground, as if he no longer had anything to support him for a second longer. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“Being a bad father.”

“Maybe...but you’re my father.” 

Over the next couple of weeks, I helped dad out with his research and we managed a thesis together. He was so proud of my work that he suggested putting it in my name instead of his. We compromised and put both of ours on. No one cared about the incident enough besides the two of us, the kid was just a nobody from the slums, without a hint of magic potential, and that was what anybody cared about. At least anyone in the Magus Association. Although Sal did give me a hard time over interrupting my father’s research.

I had thought everything would be fine, until I saw the corpse of my father, and a blond haired figure standing over it. A figure that I felt looked oddly familiar, but I had no time to process that thought as I blasted him with as much mana as I could possibly muster, but by the end of it, I saw his figure escaping through the hole in the wall I formed. 

How he got in, why the defense mechanism didn’t activate. None of that mattered as I kneeled over the figure of the father I loved. 

And thus began the start of our little war.