Little Moments of Joy

I’m at a face. The face is shocked, the expression that matches my emotion exactly. I’m holding my phone tightly in my hand and so is she. We take a deep breath, and then I say out loud, even though I know for a fact there’s at least one other person in the lady’s room, “What am I going to say? How do you announce something like this?” The woman before me moves her lips in sync with me, but no sound comes out. I like to imagine that she’s not a reflection of me, but a mentor, someone who will help me decide how I can approach this. I raise my shoulders and she copies my motion. A woman walks out of a stall with a young girl, maybe six or seven years old. The woman looks tired, but also happy. She has joy because a small hand is grasping onto her finger as she leads the small girl towards the sinks to wash up. That little hand and the small girl it belongs to is priceless. I can’t help myself. I know this woman has felt the way that I am feeling right now and I can’t hold this secret any longer, even though I’ve learned it myself not five minutes ago. I turn away from the mirror and walk towards the woman. I hadn’t planned on what I was going to say, but my brain turns to autopilot and I start talking without thinking.

“Hi,” My voice is nervous and jittery to my own ears, “Uh, I just wanted to share something with someone who understands and I know you would understand because, well, you have a child and….” I know I’m not making sense and a mix of confusion and concern creeps across her face. She probably thinks I’m a crazy lady. She brings the girl closer to her, protecting her from possible danger. I smile as I look at the girl and without thinking I just blurt it out to erase all skepticism this woman might have toward me. “I just got a call from my doctor. I found out that I’m pregnant!” The corners of her mouth tug up into a wide and sincere grin. I smile too. “I haven’t even told my husband yet, I just got the phone call myself! I can’t believe the first person I told was a complete stranger!” My voice sounds like a laugh, but I feel like crying and I don’t know why. I’m not sad, I’m the complete opposite, I couldn't be happier!

“Congratulations! Is your husband here I the restaurant?” She asked. I nod and she wraps her arms around me, embracing me in a large bear hug. “You need to go tell him!”

“How,” I can’t stop laughing and crying, “What do I say?”

“Well, how would you like to tell him?” She asked. I paused, thinking.

“I don’t know.”

“Well do you want to practice? I can stay with you.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t keep you from your meal,” I say, wiping a tear from my eye. She looks torn for a minute, but her daughter is becoming restless, so she agrees and leaves, but not before hugging me and congratulating me again. I brace my hands against the cool, marble counter. I look my reflection in the eye and pretend I’m talking to my husband, Frank.

“Guess what?” I ask myself, “We’re going to have a baby!”

“Guess what? You will soon be a proud father!”

“Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?” I like the last one. It will confuse him and make him have to ask for the information. I grin at my reflection and prance out of the washroom and into the busy restaurant. Everyone is talking loudly. I see the woman I just met in the bathroom seating herself down. She’s already telling the story to the rest of her family. A man, I assume her husband, and a girl about eight both look intrigued.

“Hello,” I say to the family as I pass. The woman turns to me and back to her family.

“Oh, this is the woman I was just telling you about-“ She stops herself, “I don’t think I caught your name.” She says.

“Oh, I’m Jennifer,” I say, waving at the young girls. They wave back.

“And I’m Kim,” She says, “And this is my husband, Sean, that’s Nev,” She points to the young girl that was in the bathroom, “and Jovi.” She points at the older daughter, who is smiling brightly.

“Did you decide what to say?” She asks. I smile and nod. “Good! We can’t keep you waiting. Go tell him!”

So I go. I actually run, the best I can in my high-heel shoes. I spot Frank waiting at our table and run over to him. I kiss him before sitting down. I try not to laugh or cry. I can’t give anything away. Not yet.

“What took you so long,” He asks, but he’s smiling, I think he’s picked up on my pure joy. I really can’t hide it. I scoot back into my booth. I need to be comfortable with this. I look at my stomach and can’t believe there’s something alive in there. I wonder what personality he/she will have. I place a loving hand on my belly and decide that moment that I don’t want to play hard to get the answers. I just want him to know. To feel the excitement I have right now. I close my eyes, take a breath, and open them again. I looked around and took the moment in. I need to remember every detail so when the baby is older I can relay this memory to them. The waiter comes, asking if there’s anything we need. I don’t want to say this in front of anyone except Frank, so I wait until he’s gone. Then I just say it.

“I’m pregnant!”

The look on Frank’s face is pure joy.