Dreams Fulfilled by Others

The morning of the show started off as the other days had yet this one was slightly different, I was still not able to put my finger on it and that bothered me somewhat.

I was the one who was a more behind the scenes person, never allowing my feelings to become involved with my mixed emotions and letting others ruin it for me. I was just another face behind the curtain that would maybe get my name in lights, to be the star for once.

Then this morning started with a mistake made when I purchased my coffee, with a twist. It had two sugars in it instead of the usual one. I know that does not seem significant to you or anyone else, but I live by a routine and a schedule. My whole life is filled with drama and with chaos.

I know these two do not go together, like being stupid and intelligent don't. I would rather be a famous unknown than a well-known nothing. I grasp the strings that are part of my years of being driven to distraction and also being played like a puppeteer who pulls the strings tightly so that I was always under someone else's control.

Not to divert from the main story that I will share with you as I started mentioning how this day started off different. I was working on the lighting and the props for our version of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" minus all the drama and celebrity fanfare involved with it. It was the list of possibilities for the lead part and the other players who all claimed to be professionals.

I was in the back looking at the costumes or looking at the scripts that would start of the play and then lead to the diversion of what would be something else altogether.

"How can I be feeling like this was a day where I was never meant to wake up and then get out of bed?" Even I would have to ask myself that very question, yet I know it would be the one question to overload my already burden heavy mind and then I would start to slouch forward.

I was standing near the front of the stage, when a shout came from behind the curtains, "Watch out for the falling lights!!!" I was pushed down and realized an unknown had just saved my life.

I looked at them, realized it was Beth Mertan. The famous former movie star turned stage actor, who was trying to reenter the world of progress, theater. I wondered, "How does a prominent actress who was an upcoming, go from the big time to less than the big time?"

Beth then reached out to help me up, which I looked and seen that she had a cut on her lower left arm. I asked her, "Are you alright, Beth?" She replied that she was, then she fainted.

I then noticed that the people in wardrobe all were bringing in the wrong costumes for the first two scenes, which one of them ran into the food carts knocking over the coffee carts and they all tumbled down as they were running into the walls by the curtain.

The rehearsals were supposed to start around 10:00 a.m. The director was late as usual. The producer was going to play both director and producer, which John was not great at. John Migheal was never known to give great direction much less produce either.

"So, who would be a better a choice for this part of producing and directing?" As for my choices, would have definitely been Marks Gravel, or, John Johshua, or even Matt Mottson. Any of them would have been a great choice, but one was deceased, one was in rehab, and the other was more of a backup choice than being used to direct this play. I personally see this as a charade facade play that may or may not break the bank in sales.

The lead was finally picked or chosen as one Rub-a-Dub Gleak. He was like Victor/Victoria. Never knowing which was to sway or which direction to turn in, it made their character more diversify and uncertain.

I was preparing to check off the names of those who were considered as perfect choices when one person' name stood out from all the rest, my own name, Janson Deris. I too was a famous, infamous, almost famous character actor as I got streamlined and blackballed, on my 3rd movie, Jungle Rudder.

It was supposed to be a classic comedy, but who is supposed to know it would be more seriously below the belt and not too funny if you ask me. I know you didn't ask me anything, just letting you know this.

"How did my name not find its way to the top of the names?" It was surely because the director and producer were, nevertheless, less impressed with my short-lived stint in Hollywad and the location of my last known residence had been in rehab also for abuse of alcohol and drugs.

I was looking at the prop scenes that would be used to set up and divert the audience's attention from each time we changed the scene, and before we called curtain.

It left much to be desired and more water under the bridge than anyone who knew never to spread rumors, gossip and lies. It was the main stay of things that had happened and things yet to come. It would either be the life of our stage debut or the death of a thousand lies.

It was with these lame ass thoughts I was not aware of someone heading in my direction. I was tackled and pounced on by the lead actor, who was Rub-a-Dub himself. He smelled of cheap cigars and even cheaper booze.

"Janson, my lowlife friend, you are doing a great job, and I am not just saying that to impress anyone." "How do you feel this will happen?" I replied, "Without a hitch, unless you get hooked by handcuffs, and we have to bail you out from jail again."

Rub did not think that was amusing, already accusing a major star with the past and the blatant stunts pulled by him throughout his basic and annoying career. It maybe his night in lights, but behind the scenes I would shine brighter than he would ever, the applause would be for me instead of him, and after it was all said and done, I would be more popular than Rub ever hoped or dreamed of.

The moment came, the curtains went up and the show started....

with a boo and a hiss.... Rub was the only one shouting.