“Don’t scratch at it.” Sammie swatted the redhead’s hand away from the back of her neck. “I said don’t pick,” she repeated through gritted teeth. She sighed, grabbed the redhead’s loose hand, and buckled it back down to the chair. “If you try to fight, it’ll only make things worse.”
Sammie spun a dial on the radio sitting on the workbench. The redhead’s body stiffened and then relaxed as Sammie turned the dial back. “I think you are about ready. Nod if you agree.”
The redhead struggled to keep her head stationary, her eyes screwed shut in concentration. Sammie tapped the dial just a tad. The redhead twitched. “I’m waiting,” Sammie said impatiently. Finally, the redhead gave a slight nod. “Good girl.”
She undid the restraints and pointed up the basement stairs. “Off you go now.” Sammie checked her case. Eight slots. Seven chips. Liz was the most susceptible to suggestion and control, so she was first. Once she returned to home base tonight, Sammie could download the data and adjust for the rest of the housemates.
Liz climbed the basement stairs slowly, fighting the urge which propelled her toward the main house. When she reached the top of the stairs and opened the door, Karen and Ashley were in the kitchen.
“Hi, Liz,” chirped Karen, a bright smile on her face. Liz slammed the basement door and stared straight ahead. Ignoring Ash and Karen, Liz headed to the living room. “What’s wrong with her?” Karen asked.
Ashley shrugged. “She and Paula probably fought over something silly again.” They watched as Liz stood in the living room by the stairs. It was like she was trying to decide where to go. Paula was watching Chopped, one of Liz’s favorite shows. Rather than join her, Liz stiffly turned and started tromping up the stairs. Clomp, clomp, clomp.
Annoyed, Paula paused the show and glared at Liz. “What’s wrong with you?” When Liz didn’t answer, she called out again. “Liz!” The redhead continued to walk stiffly up the stairs toward her room. Paula rolled over the back of the couch and caught up with her on the landing, blocking her way. “Hey. What’s up, turkey butt?”
Liz tried to push past Paula. “Move,” she said, her teeth clenched with a glare plastered on her face.
“Ahhh, come on, Liz,” Paula teased. “This is when you say – that’s why, chicken thigh.” To this, the redhead rolled her eyes, her stifled smile not quite reaching her eyes before it was gone.
“Just move, Paula. I’m not in the mood.” Liz’s voice was gruff, but her eyes slightly changed to almost pleading as if asking for help.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” Paula pleaded. Karen and Ashley were watching from the kitchen.
Without warning, Liz swung back her arm and slapped Paula, who stumbled back and caught herself on the railing. Liz slipped past her friend and into her room while Paula stared after her, holding her burning cheek.
Paula slowly went down the stairs to the kitchen. “Did you guys see that?” She opened the freezer to pull out a bag of peas. “She slapped me!”
“That’s just ridiculous,” exclaimed Ashley. The girls put their heads together to decide what to do. Nobody wanted to go into Liz’s room to subject themselves to whatever mood she was in, so they decided to call Audrey to try talking Liz down.
———-
“She slapped you?” Audrey narrowed her eyebrows in disbelief. “That’s so out of character for her.”
“And that’s why we called you,” replied Paula. “I’m not subjecting myself to that again.”
Audrey straightened the lapels on her suit jacket and took a cleansing breath. “Here goes nothing.” She headed up the stairs and tapped on her friend’s door. “Liz? Liz, it’s me, Audrey. I’m coming in.”
The redhead stood facing the window, hands by her side, fists clenched. “Don’t. Just leave.” Liz’s words were stilted.
“What’s going on, Lizzy?” Audrey kept her voice quiet and calm.
“Go away. I don’t want you here.” Liz turned to glare at her friend. “Nobody wants you here. Now get out.” She jerkily pointed at the door.
After trying a bit longer, Audrey realized her attempts to get Liz to talk were futile. Liz’s behavior was so out of character. She abandoned her efforts and returned to speak to the other girls. “I don’t know, ladies. I wish I had answers, but she’s not talking. But I do agree that she’s acting strange.”
——
Late that night, Paula heard a creaking noise on the second floor and snuck to the door to peek out the door. Liz was creeping down the stairs and heading towards the basement. “That’s odd,” she thought. “Liz hates the basement and wouldn’t be caught dead down there at night.” Paula chalked it up to more of Liz’s strange behavior but decided to confront her anyway.
She trotted down the main staircase and padded over to Liz as she reached the basement. “Liz.” Paula put her hand atop her friend’s, keeping her from turning the doorknob. “It’s late. Let’s go back to bed.” She wedged her body between Liz and the basement door to block the way.
“Move!” Liz’s voice was sharp and much deeper than usual as she tried to push past her friend.
“Whoa,” Paula said. “Are you alright?” She peered into Liz’s eyes and realized that her eyes were frozen straight ahead, and her pupils were blown wide open. “Come on; let’s sit down.” She tried to take Liz’s hand to lead her to the couch.
Liz wrenched her arm away and managed to open the basement door. She slowly descended the steep stairs, step by step to where Sammie was waiting for her. Liz took her place in the chair and allowed her arms to be strapped down.
“Good. You returned. It worked.” Sammie was almost giddy as she removed the chip from the base of Liz’s skull. As she slipped it into the slot of her laptop, the basement door opened again. “Ahhh, I see you brought your plus one. Excellent work, my pet. Paula, come join your friend.”
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6 comments
Good writing here, although as I’ve just seen, this is from a longer story so now it makes more sense. Your idea sounds intriguing….
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Interesting premise. I liked it. If you want my two cents, you have a lot of characters and we don’t learn much about them. We know they’re housemates and we know that Liz and Paula fight over silly things. Audrey is called over, but why? Is she Liz’s BFF? Is she certified in counseling? You mention that she is wearing a suit, so I was curious. Also, I was curious as to how Sammie convinces the girls enough to get a chip in them. Does she overpower/sedate them? Does she trick them? Overall though, I enjoyed your story, and I hope we get to f...
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Thank you so incredibly much for your review. I now realize that I plucked this from a series I did for a 31-Days-of-Angst challenge with established characters. I certainly didn't develop the characters in this short story where they made sense to someone unfamiliar with the characters or backstory. I am trying to branch out, and now I know I need to ensure I develop better characters and eliminate necessary ones. Tad bit of backstory: Audrey is Liz's best friend. She is straight-laced and no nonsense. Liz is very trust-worthy, loving and ...
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That makes sense that it came from a series. I think it’s fine to use a snippet from something bigger just maybe add some extra detail. Thanks for the backstory! It definitely fills in some pieces. I guessed correctly about Audrey being the bff lol.
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You've definitely made me realize that Reedsy readers don't know my characters and that I need to work on character development or eliminate unnecessary characters. I appreciate your comment and feedback! <3
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Welcome. I’m glad it was helpful. 😊
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