Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.

Who am I? Who do I want to be? These questions have echoed in my mind for as long as I can remember, shaping and reshaping the way I view myself and the world around me. My journey of self-discovery began, as it does for everyone, at birth. But the first memory I have of envisioning a future for myself was around the age of nine or ten.

At that tender age, I confidently declared that I wanted to become an engineer. What did engineers do? I had no idea. But the respect and admiration that came with the title were enough to ignite my ambition. To me, it seemed like the perfect aspiration—a symbol of intelligence, success, and prestige.

However, as I grew older, my interests began to shift. The world around me became larger and more colorful, and I found myself drawn to the magic of music and dance. The rhythm, the melodies, the freedom of movement—it all felt exhilarating. I imagined myself performing on grand stages, basking in applause, surrounded by admiration. It was a beautiful dream, but, as life often does, it challenged me. A few rejections shook my confidence, and the harsh reality of competition made me doubt whether I truly belonged in that world.

Then came my teenage years, a whirlwind of change and discovery. Sports entered my life, bringing with it a sense of purpose and exhilaration. I loved the adrenaline rush of competing, the camaraderie of being part of a team, and the discipline it required. Badminton, kabaddi, and shot put became my passions, and for a time, I thought I had found my calling. I felt alive on the field, strong and capable. But the pressures of academics, combined with my family’s belief in the supremacy of education, soon eclipsed my newfound love for sports. What once brought me joy became just another hobby left behind in the race to excel academically.

Through it all, I remained a diligent student. I poured my energy into my studies, determined to meet the expectations placed upon me. But socially, I struggled. Friendships were fleeting, and I often found myself alone. My so-called friends seemed to keep me around out of convenience or sympathy rather than genuine connection. I wasn’t the one they confided in or sought out for laughter—I was merely a quiet presence on the sidelines of their lives.

Loneliness has a way of teaching lessons you never knew you needed to learn. With no one to share my thoughts with, I began to observe people. I noticed the subtle ways they expressed their emotions, the patterns in their behavior, and the stories their actions told. My fascination with human psychology grew from these quiet moments of observation.

One day, our school introduced a counselor, and her role intrigued me deeply. She could understand people’s minds—decipher their emotions and thoughts—just by observing their actions and behavior. It felt like a superpower, one that resonated with my growing curiosity about human nature. For a while, I dreamed of becoming a counselor myself.

But in our middle-class household, unconventional dreams were often set aside in favor of practicality. Success was measured by academic achievements and secure jobs, and the path to becoming a counselor seemed like an uncharted, impractical route. I had no one to guide me, no resources to explore this dream, and no encouragement to pursue it. Reluctantly, I let go of the idea and chose a path that seemed more acceptable.

In high school, I took up mathematics and later pursued a degree in Computer Science Engineering (B.Tech-CSE). Engineering appeared to be the logical choice—a stable and respectable career that aligned with my parents’ expectations. I worked hard, excelling in my coursework, but deep down, I still felt an emptiness, a void that no amount of academic success could fill.

During my college years, I explored a variety of interests. Sports made a brief comeback, reigniting the joy of competition. Painting became a form of self-expression, allowing me to communicate emotions that words often failed to convey. Designing sparked my creativity, and coding honed my problem-solving skills. I became the unofficial counselor for my friends and family, offering advice and a listening ear. Each of these activities brought me joy, but they also added to my confusion.

With every new skill I acquired, a new question arose: Is this who I’m meant to be?

Even after graduating, the questions persisted. I began preparing for a master’s degree, yet my heart remained divided. Should I follow my passion for creativity and design? Or should I stick to the logical, stable path of engineering? Would I find fulfillment as a writer, sharing my observations and reflections? Or should I revisit my dream of becoming a counselor, helping others navigate their emotions and struggles?

Looking back, I’ve realized that my journey has never been about choosing a single career—it has been about discovering myself. Every phase of my life, every interest I’ve pursued, has contributed something valuable to the person I am today. Engineering taught me discipline, structure, and the importance of problem-solving. Painting and design unleashed my creativity and gave me a voice when words failed. Counseling nurtured my empathy and understanding of others. Sports instilled resilience, teamwork, and a love for challenges.

Perhaps the answer isn’t in choosing one path over another but in embracing all these facets of myself. Maybe true wisdom lies not in deciding what I should be but in discovering what I can be.

As I stand at this crossroads, I no longer see my confusion as a weakness. Instead, I see it as a sign of growth, a testament to my willingness to explore, learn, and evolve.

Who am I? I am a dreamer, a creator, a thinker, a seeker.

Who do I want to be? I want to be someone who never stops asking these questions, because in asking, I find my purpose.

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A Poem on the Journey of Self-Discovery

Who am I? Who will I be?

A question whispered by the sea,

Waves of dreams crash and recede,

Each a reflection, each a seed.

A dancer, a painter, a fleeting star,

A builder of worlds, both near and far,

A seeker of truths, unseen, unknown,

In every shadow, a path has grown.

The winds of doubt, they twist and turn,

But in their chaos, flames still burn.

Not one purpose, but many to find,

An endless canvas of heart and mind.

Who I am is a story untold,

A melody shifting, a tale of gold.

In every choice, a spark of me,

Infinite, boundless, forever free.

Let the questions flow, let the answers grow,

For in this journey, the self will glow.

Not in the end but along the way,

I find who I am every single day.