He Doesn't Bite

The katakat law officer, like others of her kind, stood just over four feet tall, fine-boned and slender. Covered as they were in green and yellow feathers with a red beak and large eyes set to either side of their head, humans tended to call them ‘parakeets’, ‘keets’ for short.

Unlike their nickname sakes, however, katakats had arms ending in hands with disturbingly long fingers. The officer’s fingers at that moment twirled a set of dull grey cuffs. While she puffed up her chest to appear in control of the situation, those fingers trembled and the feathers on her neck stood out in alarm.

She was to arrest a human. One of those dangerous apes from a remote arm of the galaxy. This was the day she dreaded might come and hoped to never have to live to see. She’d never met one of them, but she knew they were larger, heavier boned, densely muscled creatures with predatory eyes and diet. The stories she never hoped to verify terrified her.

Living up to their reputation as blood-thirsty savages, this one had claimed an emergency and docked at the station in a ship bristling with weapons. Carried within, the ship held a quantity of explosives that, if set off, would vaporize the ship and a huge portion of the station with it.

The pilot stood next to his vehicle. He was grimy, with oil and grease stains on his jumpsuit, boots, hands, and face. Slung across his shoulder was an emergency oxygen tank, now depleted as evidenced by the open valve and no sound of gas escaping the mask that hung from his neck. Whether it was a real emergency or manufactured to gain access to the station would be determined by the investigators.

“Pilot Silas Roberts,” she said, challenging the beast of a man in front of her, “I am placing you under arrest for the transport of dangerous goods to a civilian station.”

“I figured as much,” he said. He turned his back to her and put his hands behind his back. “I won’t fight it. I don’t bite … unless you ask nicely.”

The cuffs barely closed around the large wrists of the man. Her sensitive fingers felt the rough texture of his hands, as though humans had built-in work gloves. The solidity and weight of his limbs caught her full attention. She hoped the cuffs would hold. Maybe there was something sturdier in the station’s garrison.

“Ma’am,” he said, “if you wouldn’t mind, what’s your name?”

“Officer Takara,” she said. “Follow the yellow lights on the floor. We’re going to the garrison. Don’t try anything. I’m armed and not afraid to use it.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Silas said. “You’re in charge here.”

As they walked, Takara asked, “I know humans love war, but who are you fighting that you need all those weapons and explosives?”

Silas laughed. “Ain’t fighting nothing but asteroids. I’m a buster for a mining operation.”

“But all those weapons—”

“Wait,” he cut her off, “I’ll explain, after you. What did you mean that humans ‘love war?’”

The tone of his voice raised the feathers on her face and neck, sending a shiver of fear down her spine and raising the feathers on the way down. Her hand tightened on the grip of her stunner, and she took an involuntary step back from him.

Silas stopped and bowed his head. “I apologize for my tone, Officer Takara. I just… I get fed up with hearing about how dangerous and scary humans are. We’re all just people trying to make our way.”

Takara regained her composure and got them moving again. “I know about humans,” she said, “well, I mean, I hear stories.”

“The best stories can tell the worst lies, ma’am.” Silas shook his head. “I’m not saying there’s no dangerous humans, because there are. Plenty that I wouldn’t want to face alone. But isn’t it the same for everyone?”

“The same how?”

“I mean, aren’t there dangerous ’keets out there too? Like that weird cult that was doing medical experiments on kids?” He sighed. “I’d like to sic some of those dangerous humans on ’em.”

“Fine. I will concede that there are dangerous persons of all species.” She relaxed the grip on her stunner. The human continued to cooperate and not make any threatening gestures. “That still doesn’t explain the explosives and weapons.”

“Right,” he said. “What do you know about asteroid mining?”

“Not much.”

“Well, I’m a buster. Our job is break apart large, metallic asteroids into smaller pieces that can be managed by a processor ship.

“We do that by drilling holes in the asteroid, planting explosives, getting the hell outta the way and blowing it up. Then we fly around the expanding cloud of debris and push it towards the processor. The guns are for breaking the chunks that are still too big, and to protect our ass from any rogue pieces that wanna take a bite outta the ship.”

“I see. It seems….” She stopped herself before she said something else that might annoy or anger the human.

“Dangerous?” he asked. “It is, but that’s why it pays so good.”

She had stopped herself from saying it was inefficient but let him believe that she meant dangerous. As they neared the garrison, the noise of a fight reached their ears and the yellow line on the floor turned red. The sounds of multiple stunners discharging in the garrison put her on high alert, her stunner drawn and aimed at the garrison doors on instinct.

One of the doors buckled and flew open into the hallway, opposite to the direction it was meant to open. Two katakats, brandishing stunners and wearing police armor over civilian clothes stepped into the hallway. Seeing Takara, they swung their stunners towards her even as she fired both of her charges at them. The armor made it ineffective, but Takara wasn’t wearing any.

Silas stepped in front of her and with a jerk of his arms snapped the cuffs off. “Stay behind me!” He ran toward the armed duo, not even flinching at the four stun shots they unloaded on him.

He punched one in the beak, cracking it and sending his head snapping to the side, knocking him out cold. He turned toward the second who had raised another stunner and shot Takara.

The stunned officer dropped to the deck hard. Silas reached out and grabbed the second katakat and pulled so hard it dislocated the katakat’s shoulder, making him drop the stunner.

As officers in uniform swarmed into the hall to take the two back into custody, Silas returned to Takara and knelt beside her. “Officer Takara, are you hurt?”

“Can’t move,” she said. “Should wear off soon.”

“Is it okay if I carry you into the garrison?”

“Fine.”

Silas lifted her as if she weighed nothing. Takara marveled at how gentle he was, especially given the scene she’d just witnessed. “The cuffs.”

“Sorry, but I thought it more important to stop dangerous people,” Silas said. “I can buy you a new pair.”

“No. You could’ve just … any time … and yet you ….”

He did that strange thing humans did with their soft faces they call a smile. “I told you, you’re in charge, and I’m willing to pay whatever fines. I just needed a place to dock since I was losing my oxygen.”

“I think I believe you,” she said. “I’ll put in a word with the investigators.”

“Thank you, Officer Takara. I have the busted valve in my pocket anyway, since I need to find a replacement.” He laid her gently on the first clear table he saw. “Somebody help! She was hit with a stunner.”

Other officers came around to administer first aid but waited until he had stepped well clear of her. Takara huffed. “He doesn’t bite, you know. Unless you ask nicely.”