Dear [illegible],
I don’t even know what to call you anymore. You’re not my Mum anymore; you lost the right, the privilege to be called that. It feels weird to call you by first name, and wow the irony that your name should be Angel. Your mother should have called you Thief instead. Or Breaker of Hearts. I refuse to call you Mrs. Harkness anymore either, you shamed Dad in ways you didn’t even care about. I wish he would just divorce you. But he says he doesn’t have time, and he doesn’t have any desire to get married again anyway, so what’s the point? I guess I believe him. He’s married to his work, gone all the time. He’s on another work trip, this time to China for the next two weeks. Sometimes it feels lonely, just us three girls at home. Then he comes back for a couple days and it feels weird. We wouldn’t tell him this, but it almost feels better when he leaves again.
Not like you’d care. Not like you will ever know. You’re never going to ever actually read this. My counselor at school just thought that writing imaginary letters to you might help with the “unprocessed anger”, and “start the healing”. Whatever that means.
Mima is in town for the weekend. She’s having us over to her hotel room with some takeout tonight. It’s a nice change from having to hash together something for ourselves, and then eat it inside our same old lonely house. She said she has something special for us. She almost always has something special for us, but I think we’re all curious. This feels different.
I don’t know if Mima’s visiting you while she’s here, because we never talk about you. Ever. It feels weird to even think about writing to you.
I’m going to shred this, then burn the shreds, then scatter the ashes in the hauntedest graveyard I can find.
Mel
***
Dear Ms. I-Want-To-Vomit,
I guess IF I was writing to you, then this is the news I would tell you.
Mima gave us a ring.
Yeah. I’m kind of in shock. What in the world? Whose grandmother sits down three high-school-age sisters, and gives them ONE ring? Between all of them?
She said it’s valuable. I’m not sure how valuable, but it looks expensive. It’s like a massive ruby with fancy gold petals around it. Mima went on and on about what it was and how it was made and how it was passed down in her family but all I remember is that the name had something to do with Egypt. Or maybe Rome. And that the girls in her—and I guess your—family always kept it.
But, one ring for three of us?
Ashley hardly got off her phone the whole evening to even talk to Mima, yet as soon as the ring came out, she was trying it on and snapping photos of it on her hand—to show off to her followers, I’m sure. Raina came right out and asked if it was for her, the little sneet, but Mima didn’t cave to the youngest-gets-everything, thankfully. I suggested to Mima that maybe if it was valuable, she should have just sold it and split the proceeds evenly between us. She looked at me like I had grown three horns, so I shut my mouth. Doesn’t she understand the danger of one nice thing between three girls?
Rings are stupid. So are letters.
Mel
***
Dear Gagworthy,
I don’t know why I’m writing. I guess I just started writing in this notebook and it's sort of become my go-to. I feel like I need to talk to somebody right now.
I had the ring on my desk. Mima had given it into my care, since I’M THE OLDEST, but when I got up this morning, it was gone. Taken right out of the box. I panicked, thinking that some robber had broken in and stolen it, and had my phone out, ready to call 911. I’ve read books that talk about hearts in people’s throats, hearts beating out of people’s chests, hearts stopping, and other weird heart things, and I’ve thought they were all dumb and just fancy writer talk for “he was scared”. I learned in a hurry that every single one of those things is completely true to life, and that every one can be felt in the exact same moment.
Have you ever
Nvm.
I snuck around the corner, terrified that some ring-wielding thief was going to jump on me, when I heard Raina and her friend, Kayla, talking in the living room. By the time I arrived in the doorway, I was so mad I could feel I was turning a little red in the ears. Kayla and Raina were bent over the ring in Raina's hand, giggling about something.
I don’t need to tell you what happened next. I felt way too much like you in that moment. Yelling and ruining a perfectly happy, innocent moment. But Raina had no right to sneak into my bedroom while I was sleeping and run off with the ring without even letting me know! At least she could’ve left a note or something.
Kayla left pretty fast after that, and Raina tried to tell me I wasn’t you. Thank goodness I’m not you. I’m going to be as un-you as I can be. I told Raina she needed to give me the ring back. She yowled about it something awful but an heirloom should not be loose between two fifteen-year-olds. Especially when Kayla isn’t even related. Sheesh.
Mel
***
Dear Most-Definitely-NOT-an-Angel,
The ring changes color.
The stone does, I mean.
I wore it to go shopping today. Yeah it was stupid but I guess I just wanted to see what it felt like.
It was red while I was inside and it turned green outside in the sunlight. I wouldn’t have noticed but Jenny from school checked me out and suddenly started screaming my ears off. “When’s the wedding?” she says. After I had scraped my jaw off the floor and put my eyeballs back in my head, I realized she was pointing at my ring. “Oh, that. It’s from my grandmother. Some sort of ruby.”
And then when I was unloading the groceries, Mrs. Benton from next door came snooping over as she does, and, instead of squeals, it was gasps of horror and shock. “Engaged! At your age!”
I just blinked at her several times before I, again, realized (you’d think with it just happening I’d have been more on my toes, but I was thinking about what to make for dinner, shocker) she was fixated on the ring. “Oh, that,” I repeated. “It’s from my grandmother. Some sort of…” but it was green. A green ruby?
I set the groceries on the counter and put the ring in its box. I’m not ever going to wear it again. It’s not my fault the only finger it fits on me is my left ring finger. Even if I was engaged, seriously--I’m eighteen. I graduate in two months. I can make my own life.
Not that any boy wants to get involved with me now that you’re
Anyway, Grandma lied to us about the ring. It’s just some sort of cheap mood ring deal that she’s passing off on us as an heirloom.
Whatever. I guess you have the genetics for it.
Mel
***
To you, whatever you are,
I gave the ring to Raina and Ashley today. I didn’t tell them why, or what happened. I don’t want to talk about any of it. I just don’t want it anymore.
Of course, I immediately heard them screaming at each other about who would get it, complete with threats of what they would and would not give each other for their birthdays.
Sigh. There they are starting up again. I guess I should step in. Most the time I don’t even know what to say though. They stomp and scream and throw things and I can barely keep myself from doing the same thing.
This is why you’re supposed to be here.
What monster took you over that a stupid piece of jewelry was more important than your own kids?
Mel
***
Dear IwishIcouldforgetyourname,
Ashley wore the ring to prom tonight. I didn’t go, but threatened her with murder and torture if she didn’t behave herself and come home at a decent time.
She looked pretty. She wore red. The ring matched. I couldn’t help but remember it was your favorite color, and wish that you could at least see her. Raina did her hair and they posted a gazillion photos. I took some pics too. Maybe I’ll print some at some point.
Mel
***
A—
why am I doing this? why am I the one staying up late biting my nails? We are orphans. I can’t stop sobbing my eyes out. Raina's over at Kayla's tonight so I'm alone. So alone.
Mel
***
A—
I WAS RIGHT.
Sort of. I'm still working this all out.
Mima stopped by in a hurry this morning. She looked absolutely distraught.
She had given us a fake. An expensive fake made with real stones?
And then she had accidentally given us the real one?
Apparently…there was a genuine very expensive ring in the family. But Mima decided that instead of giving it to three girls who would just fight over it, she would donate it to a charity auction.
And she donated the family fake duplicate—because every family has a duplicate of the heirloom?—to us, the circus sisters.
So, this morning she shows up and asks for the ring back.
I told her that Ashley was sleeping after being out until 4 am.
She told me it was very, very urgent, so I slipped into Ashley’s room and hunted around for the ring.
It was like a tornado, and then a blizzard, and then a hurricane had all hit her room. I looked for awhile, but I couldn’t find it.
Mima wouldn’t take a no.
So I had to wake up Raina, but then realized Raina still hadn't come home from Kayla's.
Mima insisted we wake up Ashley, and marched in there to do it. Ashley was not happy, and was even grumpier when Mima told her why.
But when Mima asked Ashley where the ring was, Ashley couldn’t tell her. She couldn’t remember.
Things may have gotten a bit intense. We may have all done a bit of yelling. Ashley had a headache, I was mad because Mima was demanding back the (not-even-real) gift she had given us, Mima was convinced Ashley was lying that she couldn’t remember where she put it.
And then Dad came home. I’d forgotten he was due home, and he was five hours earlier than scheduled. He just stood in the doorway, jaw open, for a full minute, before we all noticed him and shut up.
“Hello, Mima,” he said. “Can you please explain all this?”
And, surprise, Mima sat down, and motioned for all of us to.
I noticed she was shaking. She was…scared?
“The rings were switched.”
Dad was confused and we had to back up and explain some things, but he caught up quickly.
“The genuine alexandrite ring was intended to be donated to charity for an annual auction; the ruby copy was intended for the girls.”
"So they're both valuable," Dad cut in.
"Yes," Mima said. "Except the ruby is worth hundreds, maybe a thousand, and the alexandrite is worth tens of thousands." Her voice quavered. "Somehow, somewhere, someone switched the rings. So the alexandrite is here, somewhere, and the ruby is at the charity."
I said it, not quite understanding yet. "Soooo, what's so bad about that?"
Mima let out a shaky laugh, as Dad stood and paced to the kitchen sink.
"It was reported for taxes as a donation," they said at the same time.
I still felt pretty confused. So Dad explained. "It looks like Mima lied on her taxes, even though it was an accident...that's not likely to be believed." He looked around at all of us. "We're all implicated."
"You mean...we could go to jail?" Ashley's face, pale already from her late night, was ashen now. She groaned and buried her head in her arms.
Dad said that no one is going to jail. I wonder. Especially because we've been tearing Ashley's room apart and we still can't find the cursed thing. Even Kayla's been helping since she came over with Raina.
I guess we wouldn't be able to avoid you anymore if we went to jail. Lucky you.
Mel
***
A--
Been two days, We still haven't found the ring box was empty.
the jewelry inspector was a friend of Mima's had given her a tipoff that the ring wasn't alexandrite so she had warning. Some men in suits showed up to talk to Mima this afternoon she was crying afterward
M
***
Angel,
I found it.
I found the ring.
I was cleaning the toilet and was so grossed out by how nasty we had let it get that I was crawling on my hands and knees to scrub behind the squatter. And there it was, just out of view.
Ashley must have taken it off in the bathroom and put it on the sink, then somehow it got knocked off and rolled behind the toilet. At least it didn't land in the toilet.
We are celebrating. You should be here.
Mel
***
Mum.
Oh, Mum, Mum, Mummy.
I see it now. And my heart hurts, explodes, burns, soars all at once.
I've been so angry with you for throwing everything away for a single piece of jewelry.
Yet, I came so close to doing the same thing.
I found that ring, and for several minutes what did I do? I stood there, bathroom door closed, staring at the stupid hunk of metal and rock in my hand, like Gollum in his cave. I wanted to hide it, keep it, run away with it. I wanted to snatch it away and have it be mine, mine, mine.
Tbh, I don't know what I would have done if Ashley hadn't knocked and peeked her head in right then, asking if I was done cleaning and could she use the bathroom. Her face just lit up when she saw the cursed thing, and only then did I remember how guilty she felt, how scared Mima was, how Dad had cancelled his work trip to help us look, how Raina had even stayed screenless for a couple days.
I was seconds away from ruining all of us.
That's what you felt. This Gollum, this wild desire to possess this rock, this thing, for your own.
But you're not Gollum. I remember you rocking me, holding my hand, smiling at me...I think everyone might all have a little bit of the monster, and we all have to fight it, but...I almost lost. I came this close to not telling everyone else that I had found it. Would I have gone to jail? I feel cold all over. But I didn't do it. And things are being made right, as we speak. If only you had had an Ashley at the right moment, reminding you not to listen to that wild voice, maybe everything could have been different.
I graduate on Saturday. I'm wearing red. And the suit guys say they're putting a special rush on our case to get the ruby back to me in time to wear it, too. I wish you were able to be there.
But I'm going to come see you afterward, and tell you the three words we both need.
I forgive you.
Mel
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