betrayal

Betrayal

I woke up cold, wet, hungry, and slightly disoriented.

‘Where was I’?

I slowly sensed that I had been lying on the cold, hard ground in the forest instead of my warm bed. 

 ‘What am I doing here?’ 

Slowly memories flooded back into my brain. I had been accused of something that I did not do. Was this a betrayal or do have to prove my innocence.

My name is Robert, and I am a high school teacher. I failed a student because she had copied her assignments, and I gave the proof to the principal. The student then accused me of making sexual advances toward her. The failure mark stood, but I was asked to stand down from my position for an investigation of the sexual allegation to go ahead. I was accused of something I did not do. I panicked when the counselor told me students had started talking about me. They were spreading gossip. I needed to get away from all this notoriety.

I escaped to the forest because of the gossip people were spreading about me. I needed time to think.

I cleaned out my bank account and packed my survival backpack. ‘What should I do now? ‘Survive,’ I tell myself.

I want to keep a diary as I want people to know what was happening to me. The writing will also help me clarify what I am feeling as I feel that I have been betrayed. I went into the Canadian forest, which has always been my refuge. This wandering will allow me time to explore my thoughts and feelings after being wrongly accused of sexual harassment.

Last night I tossed and turned as I was having a nightmare.

In my dream, the principal summoned me to her office.

The student named Ann was sitting there on a chair near the window. The principal offered me a chair on the opposite side of the room, and she sat behind her desk.

“Ann, please repeat what you told me earlier.”

“Mr. Barr said he would fail me if I did not have sex with him.”

I was shocked and angry as I sat there stunned and listened as the principal went on.

“When did this happen? “she gently asked Ann.

“After class today.” she almost cried.

“I did not!” I blurted out.

‘You did.’ she screamed at me.

Then the principal asked, “Were you alone with him?”

“Yes! He said that he needed to talk to me.”

“I was not alone with you after class today as I left school early to attend a meeting.”

“You did! You want to have sex with me.”

“Ann, I told Mrs. Smith that you had copied your work and gave her the proof a week ago; she said she would talk with you.”

“You said you would fail me unless I had sex with you.”

“No! that is not true you are lying.  I did not say that to you at any time!” I tried to respond in a calm voice.

“Mrs. Smith, I am innocent of this allegation. I can’t believe what I am hearing. “

I did not want to say anything more in front of Ann.

“That is all for now. Ann, will you please leave now and go to see the female counselor.”

Ann left the room. Still shocked, I just sat there stunned as she left.

The principal said, “Robert, Ann has accused you of sexual advances toward her. I must ask you to stand down from your position for an investigation to go ahead. You know the schools’ position; the School board must be informed.”

Unable to believe what I heard, I could only respond with, “I am being accused of something I would not and did not do.”

At this point, I awoke in a cold sweat from the dream. I had to get up and walk around my campsite to clear my head. I did not get back to sleep for the longest time.

I found out later that the School board had a meeting into the sexual allegation made by the female student. The school principal and two board members held a preliminary meeting to set up the guidelines. The principal outlined the background. They appointed a lawyer for the female student; I was not present as  I was in the forest.. At the school board investigation meeting, the first question asked by one of the board members was, “Where was Robert accused of these allegations, or who is representing him?’

The principal said that I had disappeared after I was asked to stand down from the teaching position. The lawyer acting for the student read her statement to the committee, which noted that Robert made remarks to her after class that he would fail her for copying her work unless she had sex with him.  He read from his notes a time and date given by the student. The lawyer told the committee that she said that they were alone after class. The school principal said that Robert had come to her two weeks earlier with the student’s assignment and evidence that it was copied from other students.

The principal met with the student a week later with the evidence and said she would fail the assignment because she had cheated. The student then accused me of making sexual advances toward her.   The student said it had happened Friday after class. The school board members wanted to know if Robert had been alone with the student. The meeting was adjourned to allow for further investigation. I was reported missing to the police. The school board appointed another investigation person to investigate the female student's background and try to find you. The investigation was still pending.

I finally came back to my hometown after a few months in the forest. When the School board reconvened their meeting. The appointed investigator reported that the student had a difficult upbringing with an alcoholic father with indications of sexual abuse. The student also had accused other men of sexual advances whenever she was in trouble. He reported that I was at another meeting in the city when the student said I had made sexual advances. He noted that the students spoke very highly of Robert, and they respected him. I had no history of sexual misconduct. 

The school board meeting concluded that no further action would be taken. I was innocent of the allegation. The school principal said that I could have my teaching position back again. I refused the offer, and I resigned from my teaching position. I said to the chair, ‘I would like my stand-down salary payment for the months that It took your board the reach the decision.’ The school board honored that request.

After the board meeting, I felt that an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I did not need to clear my name, as no charges have been brought forward. The self-imposed isolation in the wilderness with my diary writing reflecting on my unique feelings was positive.